Helk, if it was reasonable to send you a bike, I'd do it - I have one for you. But it's probably saner to send you money, so I'm in for some cash as well. Getting held up, though -- I'd be out of my league. That's terrifying.

As for the future, well, I'll admit it -- I'm gloomy. Not about the presidential election, mind you. I'm with Guy, I think Romney's going to win and I've been planting my seeds so that my state might swing his way. Pie-eyed optimism? Maybe, but I think it's possible.

No, I'm gloomy because of major changes at my most local -- administrative changes at my school that concern me greatly. They may well affect my tenure here, and I'd been thinking I was a lifer. It's the kind of thing that will probably make little difference for the first several years, but I can easily anticipate a situation that will quickly become dire. What is happening? This campus is its own little world, but that world seems like it's falling apart. Not quite akin to Obama getting elected, but close.

But none of this holds a candle to getting hijacked. Helk, we're here if you need us.

Interesting how the posts piled up while away.

No real time to read, let alone contribute, as of yet. I'll check back.

Apoth:

Everything you said. Ditto. Squared. But that's when it's absolutely imperative to laugh. Trust me on this.

Of course I'm impatient. No guarantee any of us will be here tomorrow. Every laugh could be the last laugh.

Yeah, the gloomers are silent and the hopeful are here. Guy is one of the great good people. And he has a good idea. Does anybody know how to set up a Paypal or other account so we could buy Helk a new bike?

I'm betting even our gloomiest Guses would contribute. I'm in for $25 if one of you can figure out the mechanics.

God, but you're impatient. You want proof we're not a bunch of boring sad drones? I am a drone. Right now almost the entirety of my attention is consumed by the basest, least badassedly punk-like concern imaginable, e.g. the unfortunate state of digestive affairs that occurs when one's devil-may-care diet is suddenly and forcefully supplemented by a variety of ugly, violent prescription meds and steroids.

Suddenly I'm stuck with the metabolism and appetite of a 20-year-old, but they're still attached to a very confused boiler room nearly twice that vintage. I've been sleeping on the couch in deference to my contributions to the greenhouse effect and even the dog won't take up her traditional place on the backrest.

Frankly the cure may be worse than the disease. Death with dignity is starting to have a certain appeal.

Helk, my commiserations for the loss of your bike, not to mention the outrage of being robbed at gunpoint. I haven't been through that particular experience yet and I'm not eager to. I could send a little money by PayPal or postal mail if it would help. You might try checking the local Goodwills and Salvation Army outlets for bikes -- sometimes you get lucky, and I'd say you have some luck coming.

As for the open threads, I can't talk much about my gloom and despair because I'm optimistic about the election. I know there will be twists and turns between now and then, and even if Romney is elected it won't necessarily solve the fundamental problem that 53% of us actually thought Obama was the lesser of two evils in 2008. But I think a portion of that was due to the misguided hope that once we elected a black President, professional victims like Sharpton and Jackson would be defanged at last and everybody could finally just try to get along.

Romney's campaign seems to be effective so far. Almost as if it's being run by someone with real-world leadership experience. It's probably too much to hope that he'll turn out to be the next Reagan, but hey, if I'm hoping, I may as well hope big.