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I'm not mute about the ObamaCare decision. I was waiting for the initial furor to die down, but then we got hammered by the great thunderstorm. Been without power since Friday night. Electric company estimates Friday 7/7 for restoration. If you're there, Brizoni, good time for an uncontested post.

I'll be back.

Well, at least you got the "boss" part right.

"I'm not Elvis and you're definitely nor (sic) Roy Orbison."

I think you meant "definitely not." Just trying to proofread, boss.

Joe:

I'm not Elvis and you're definitely nor Roy Orbison. My point was a simple one: Don't piss off Alfa.

People give me a hard time all the time here. But they usually don't pretend to know everything. You do. Why you draw so much ire.

R-

A housewife will only endure the abuse if her self-esteem was low enough in the first place. It's hard to "keep them on the farm, when they've seen Paree," as they say. I, much like the kid taunted at the plate in kickball, refuse to believe I am as bad as those who taunt me wish me to be. And I've been published (and rejected) enough to know that it is all ultimately subjective.

There is a certain phenomenon observed at many blogs (not just this one) involving displays of dominance. For instance, I frequent Auster's VFR and here was a topic that came up the other day ... "readers starting with the Thinking Housewife seem to agree with you on everything in a very submissive way. I would like Laura and other regular VFR commenters, such as Kidist, to have the guts to disagree with you more frequently. But they won’t, because for them you are the alpha male in residence and women love to submit to their alpha males, however tough they (the women) may sound elsewhere. It’s so boring hearing these women agreeing with you all the time. Not that the men are much better."

In a reductionist sense, you're Elvis, alf is a member of the Memphis Mafia, and I'm another Sun recording artist (Perkins, Orbison, Lee Lewis) altogether, and thus an interloper of sorts.

@ Alfa

Good comeback.

I would prefer by the way, not to be the center of attention, good or bad. But if it comes my way, I will address it, and I can hit back as often as I am hit.

Or is it generational instead?

Yes, in a sense, but it's due to a generation not of students - who are, after all, mush-brained little tabula rasae regardless of age - but instead of teachers. And to a slightly lesser degree, parents.

My dear sainted mother blames the internet, naturally. First she blamed the "l33t" web and IRC plague of the late '90s 4 /\/|4k1ng j0o t4lk l|k3 4 f00, then insisting that txting is mking u 4get wat nglsh is sposd 2 look liek.

But neither explanation really satisfies; there has always been slang, specific in trades and general in discourse, and its existence alone did not displace "proper" speech. Not all of us can be true polyglots, but most people can easily recognize and conform to different dialects of their own tongue. Blaming new electronic communication channels for this degradation makes no more sense than blaming Mark Twain for dumbing down America by voicing his characters with a Mississippi patois; the existence of a degraded variant doesn't displace the formal original.

Teachers, and parents. And it's not that they're deliberately sabotaging the language, but rather they're not emphasizing why knowledge of it should be so important in the first place. In some sense I agree with them; if I can speak the language well, why should I give a fig whether I can diagram a sentence? If language is a living thing, dissecting it just seems macabre. Can't we just skip to the part where Romeo gets Olivia Hussey's shirt off?

The problem seems to be that over the years we've lost emphasis as a people on making the ability to express oneself properly a priority. Maybe it's a manifestation of our mania to stay out of the line of fire in the class wars - if you talk purty you're probably one of those snotty elitists who look down on everyone else. So be a good suburban white kid and make sure you pepper everything you say with hood slang and drop your gs so everyone will know you're a hardcase from the mean streets, a formidable man with whom one dare not fuck. You're keepin' it real.

If teachers can't explain why this should be important, kids won't ever appreciate that it should. And if society doesn't reject or stigmatize improper speech - and if, in practice, it actually stigmatizes the proper use of language - then there's no reason for those young minds to absorb lessons that aren't being taught and no reason to exercise any interest in learning it on their own. It's as self-destructive as if we as a people slandered good grooming, dressing nicely, and keeping your house clean as sure signs of homosexuality.

Oh, wait.

Joe:

For the record, Alfa doesn't always agree with me. If he's whomping you, there's a very good chance it's not about me but you. I know. The last conclusion you'd ever reach. It's called narcissism.

Some advice, though. Attacking Alfa is not smart. His comments rarely exceed a dozen words. But a dozen words can hurt a lot.

Is that the only kind of point you can make?

Alfa, before advancing on me again, please pound your fist into your open hand once, look to RL as if he were the Penguin and you were one of his striped-shirted flunkies, and ask "You want I should get him Boss?"

After your sortie against me, return to RL's side and allow him to either pat you once on the head, or hand you a treat of some sort in return for your fealty.

Joe,

Totally off point again. Reread the end of the essay.

There is an even easier category of television acting, known as "hand modeling" which has spawned its own celebrity (of sorts) named Mia Crowe:

From Burger King, Oil Of Olay and Crest Toothpaste to Skyy Vodka, Dove Soap, and Dunkin’ Donuts, you can’t turn on the television or flip through a magazine without seeing Mia Crowe’s famous hands.

My hands are scarred and rough, so perhaps I can get into the business of hand character acting, with my digits doubling for those of Brian Dennehy or Rutger Hauer

"Mia Crowe is a top hand model in the big business of body parts modeling. Turn on the television right now, and you can see Mia’s talented hands in commercials doing everything from spreading Philadelphia Cream Cheese on a bagel and twisting open Oreo cookies to pouring test tubes of blue dye onto Tampax feminine pads to test for absorbency."

I'm just glad "Guy T" is back.

If court reporters do this bad a job, God help those of us in the defendant's box.

Not buying the argument, Guy.

I enjoyed the post but I will take the risk of playing Devil's Advocate (to some extent) here. From the Internet:

'Live broadcasts, such as the nightly news, are a different story. Live closed captions are done in real time by a trained stenographer using a court reporter's machine modified for closed captioning. The machine permits the stenographer to transcribe the spoken word a syllable at a time. Accuracy can suffer depending on operator experience, the voice quality and enunciation of the speaker being transcribed, and the overall audio quality. A stenographer who starts to lag behind may skip words or even whole phrases in order to catch up. Miskeys often cause "garbage" characters to appear in the captions, and misunderstandings of what was said can lead to odd-looking spellings or turns of phrase, often with humorous results. FellowSDSTAFF er C. K. Dexter Haven says that during the 2000 presidential campaign he saw a caption describing George Bush as the "Republican canned bait."'

There's also voice-recognition software available for captioning; don't know how widespread its use is, but I can guarantee that even the best voice-recognition software is going to produce some howlers from time to time.