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"Obama is a good house negro."

It's not his looks. It's that he's unashamedly Christian.

In the sick, sad world of modern American politics, this makes him a fascinatingly rebellious bad boy. And at the same time a safe, trustworthy leader. Women like bad boys. Women also like safe, trustworthy leaders. The combination is the up up down down left right left right B A of manly attraction.

One of the major failings of the conservative movement has been the refusal to admit that progressives have waged a cultural war against traditional mainline Christian American values. The "Christian Right" is partly to blame in delineating only certain issues as "moral" issues. (Killing an unborn child is immoral, but destroying the economy and saddling every child yet to be born with a crushing amount of debt is simply an economic exercise.) For the most part, Republicans keep trying to make it about numbers: taxes and unemployment and immigration and the budget. But many Americans for the most part don't care to do math when deciding for whom they will vote, especially when progressive Democrats are happy to take out a third mortgage on all available productive assets so they can provide the necessary 51% of voters with a pony.

Two things drive voting patterns: pay-for-play and ideology. Democrats have a lock on paying people to vote for them. This leaves ideology to the Republicans, if they want it. Santorum was the only primary candidate who understood that the rhetoric needed to defeat Obama is cultural, not math.

Libertarian-leaning, mostly male, conservative groupies relish Ryan's ruminations on the budget, but the rest of the country (including most conservative women*) really doesn't care. What sets Ryan apart from the crowd is not his economic acumen, but his morality-based defense of fiscal prudence. Tell people they shouldn't have ice cream because there isn't enough for everyone: no votes. Explain to people that forgoing ice cream is going to make them (and their children) Better People - that's a powerful message.

* Of course actually conservative women don't vote except at the direction of their husbands or fathers. Female suffrage is inherently anti-family and therefore anti-conservative. But I digress.

"I conceived of a definitely NSFW post on the subject and discarded it based on sound advice..."

Give us NSFW. Your friends are all wet.

TJ:

As I recall, you're the one told me not to do the panty poll. Fuck off.

Jo. Right. The gayest thing is people who rate gayness. You lose.

You had the chance to make this a very funny post, but you blue it.

This post is gayer than a French Poodle in a Liberace outfit riding the Tea Cups at Euro Disneyland.