It's a common misconception that punks
are young. The first punk rockers showed up in the Seventies. Fed up
with everything, including the 'Revolution' and the Radical Sixties.
That's who we are. Not all of us are old, but the conventions and
traditions we despise are
old. American leftism hasn't had a new idea since it started hiding in
environmentalist movement after the fall of the Soviet Union. We're
more fed up and angry with the left than most of you twenty-somethings
could ever get with the right even after a night of posting at DailyKos
on ecstasy and
We welcome you to come here and do battle. But when you do, be prepared
for the fact that we'll ridicule your knowledge of history, grammar,
spelling, culture, rhetoric, and debate. Even the young ones in our
troupe are Old School. We'll laugh at your obscenities, poke holes in
your unoriginal sixties politics, and generally amuse ourselves at your
expense if you come on as aggressive feminists, save the planet
Greengobs, or sanctimonious atheist hyper-intellectuals.
The same goes for NewMedia conservatives. If you're bad writers,
one-issue drumbeaters, glory hounds, or pretentious half-educated
blogstars, we'll kill you.
You can comment at will. We're one of a mere handful of sites on the
Internet that don't screen comments before we post them. You have
freedom of speech here. And we have freedom of retaliation. And we
don't give one single, solitary shit what you think of us. But whatever
you think of us, our opinion of critics is worse.
We've been called elitists, racists, sexists, and creationists. We're
none of those things. What we are is honest. We talk about things no
one else has the guts to, especially if they're planning a career in
what is called the new media -- meaning the same old windbags showing
up for 50-second shout-fests on cable news channels. You won't find us
there. You'll find us here. Saying what we think. A lot of you won't
like us. Great. We don't like you much either. We're punks. Mostly
smarter than you and definitely better informed on practically
everything than you.
We're libertarians.And conservatives. And radicals. We live outside of
all your pigeonholes. We like
for Clarinet and Oboe
, the Rolling Stones (all), Triumph
motorcycles, P-51 Mustangs,
Hookercraft speedboats, Frank Lloyd Wright, Edward Hopper, Matisse, and
Picasso, Rimbaud, Ettore Bugatti, the Island of the White Peacocks,
W.O. Bentley, the Jersey Shore, Jimmy Stewart, quantum physics,
Philadelphia's statue of William Penn, Louis Armstrong, the
Blue Angels, Don Garlits, F,. Scott Fitzgerald, Monaco, Placido Domingo
Mario Lanza, Fritz Lang, Orson Welles, Mark Twain, Alexandre Dumas
(pere), Oscar Wilde, farm fairs, Cuda Hemis, the Champs Elysee, the
Rachmaninoff, Chopin, Voltaire, Richard Petty, Benny Goodman, Dante,
Jaguar XKEs, northern Italy, Alfred
Hitchcock, broadway shows, Stirling Moss, Miles Davis, Austin Healey
3000s, 'Nessun Dorma,' Rita
Hayworth, Richard Byrd's "Alone," George Gershwin, the street markets
of Hong Kong, Bill Evans, Harvard-Yale, Baudelaire, Fred Astaire and
rodeo, Mallarme's translations of Edgar Allen Poe, Frank Sinatra, Ohio
State-Michigan, the red roofs of Bogota, Ernest Hemingway (up to a
point), St. Thomas
Aquinas, GNR, the Chrysler Building, Hedy Lamarr, Muhammed Ali, St.
Churchill, Eminem, Humphrey Bogart,
the view from the Rainbow Room, Dostoevsky's Grand Inquisitor, Groton,
the back roads of Ohio, Shakespearean Sonnets, Doris Day, the X-Games,
Gospel of John, the hills of San Francisco, Robert E. Lee & Ulysses
Grant, Cary Grant, Beowulf, Lake Como, the Aenead, greyhounds, Die Hard
Ducatis, Denzel Washington, the bridges of Portland OR, Verlaine, the
United States Marines, and The Last
. We're also unintimidated by Richard Dawkins,
fascinated by the Saturn moon Iapetus, and wide open to the
possibilities of quantum computing and probable universes. Though we
think George Nouri should be put in solitary confinement for the rest
of his natural life. Got us figured out yet?
Sort it all out for yourselves. Before you sail in with your superior
comments Whatever you think, you don't KNOW us. Bear that in mind.
-- R. F. Laird.