Archive Listing
January 24, 2007 - January 17, 2007
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Counting the
Minutes We're just glad Katie has job security
through 2046.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
InstaPunk Protest
Pics! Not quite as huge as the Newark, DE,
protest, but a good turnout for Salem
LEGACY. I won't
make any bones about it. I thought my coverage of the Salem County
Illegal Immigration March was going to be the splashiest in the
southern New Jersey-Delaware region. Imagine my disappointment when I
discovered via Instapundit
that we'd been upstaged by Newark,
Delaware.
If you look at the map, you can see why Salem and Newark might be
considered rivals.
I should have realized, probably, that Newark's status as a university
town makes it a lot easier for them to hit the magic dozen mark when it
comes to assembling protesters in a great cause like this one. Even so,
the startling scale of the Newark march drained a lot of the verve out
of this report. But here goes anyway.
The protest organization meeting was scheduled for Sunday morning in
the Salem Oak Diner, which sits across the street from the highly
symbolic Salem Oak, the tree under which the county's first Quaker
immigrants signed a treaty with the Indians in 1675. Unfortunately for
the ambiance of the current assembly, that treaty was one of a handful
ever signed with the Indians that was actually honored. Maybe that's
why the organizational meeting was so subdued.
An atmosphere of calm prevailed at
the meeting.
As it happened, I didn't encounter
Carlos at the meeting but later, outside the diner (see above) when
he initiated the march through Salem's downtown section. I had the
opportunity to interview him at some length, since other media seemed
less eager to get too close to the protest activity. While not actually
an immigrant, Carlos Harris, 34, of Cowtown, has an
interesting story to tell. His family is mostly Scotch-Irish stock, but
Carlos's mother visited Texas once with her cattleman grandfather and
had a brief dalliance with a Brahma bull rider named -- you guessed it
-- Carlos. Nothing came of the romance because Carlos was deported to
Mexico after an obscure incident involving some toxic homemade tequila,
but when the young lady got married some years later, her husband
always teased her about her Mexican boyfriend, which made her so
furious over time that she defiantly (and still under the influence of
the epidural) named her firstborn son after the long lost rodeo rider.
Carlos explained that his mother doesn't get around very well anymore,
so he decided to join the protest on her behalf. Her position is that
the idea of a wall along the border isn't very friendly and should be
more like a fence, maybe with some broken glass on top.
The actual march was peaceful and lacking in serious confrontations.
Once, a car approached Star Corner, the town's main intersection, while
Carlos was demonstrating there, but it turned right and Carlos assured
me he never felt threatened.
A moment of near-collision between
traffic and the protest at Star Corner.
The remainder of the event was, well,
uneventful. Carlos proceeded the additional block up Market Street to
the County Courthouse, where a friend had promised to come by and give
him a ride back to Cowtown. I would have stayed till the ride came, but
it was almost time to feed the dogs and I had to go. I snapped one last
picture as I was driving away.
The climax of the march at the
Courthouse.
"Adios, Carlos," I yelled.
"What?" he replied.
And I guess I'll leave it at that.
UPDATE.
I see that other bloggers, especially Michelle Malkin,
are still trying to publish the flashiest and most sensational protest
coverage they can find. This is kind of an insult to small town
activists everywhere. We do the best we can. With what we have. So don't
be such a snob about it, okay?
UPDATE 2.
The Newark blogger has now penned a completely slighting entry about
the Salem protest in support of illegal immigration. He says I'm
"making excuses," but what could I have done, short of making up a much
larger demonstration that didn't occur in fact? Like my role models at
the New York Times, I am
simply an impartial journalist who makes up the bare minimum of news
necessary to inflate my sense of self-importance virtue.
Perhaps Don'tSeeTheLight.com
should learn from my outstanding (if I dare say so myself) example. And
if he ever ventures over the bridge into OUR territory, he should bear
in mind that we're not a bunch of college radical pussies here, but
centuries worth of inbred gene pools that would scare the hell out of Ward
Churchill himself.
Islamist Tsunami
SOMETHING SAD. The good news is that students in American public
schools who can't identify countries like France, Italy, and Spain on
the map needn't worry about it any longer (if they ever did). Here's
the new map. Spain's been off it ever since they caved in to Islamist
extortion and voted in an appeasement government after 3/11. The French
have been flailing in the water since the government found it couldn't
stand up to a bunch of ghetto muslim punks who burn cars for fun, and
they finally slipped under the waves this week when the government
proved it couldn't stand up to a bunch of lazy, spoiled university
brats who burn
cars to demonstrate their qualifications to hold lifelong jobs. Italy's
gone too, sunk in a night and a day like Atlantis, as a once proud
nation signed up for a program of anti-American rhetoric and craven
appeasement of barbarians.
The bad news is, if you really really hate war, this is the worst
possible news. For explanation, we could direct you to two excellent
essays (h/t InstaPundit), one by Charles
Krauthammer and one by Daniel
Johnson, but we won't do that. Instead, we'll leave you with one
stanza from a poem
by the great Irishman William Butler Yeats:
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
. So
now the scientists are announcing new dinosaurs at a pretty rapid rate
again. Most recently, we got this:
What's 7 feet tall, 13 feet long, armed
with sickle-like claws and covered with feathers? Hagryphus giganteus,
the new raptor dinosaur discovered in southern Utah.
The dinosaur was unveiled this week in a pair of press conferences held
by the Utah Museum of Natural History, one on Monday in Escalante, near
its discovery site, and the other on Tuesday in the museum on the
University of Utah campus...
The name means "giant four-footed, bird-like god of the western
desert," said Lindsay Zanno, a graduate student at the U. who named it
and is the lead author of a paper describing the animal. The paper was
published in the Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology.
Only about 7 percent of the fossil was recovered, said Scott Sampson,
the museum's chief curator. That consisted of hand and feet bones,
including the impression of the sharp keratin sheath that was curved
like a huge cat's claw.
All they have of it is hand and leg bones, but they know it had
feathers. They know it had feathers?
Does anybody else suspect that the scientists are just playing with us
now? For some reason they got tired of the reptile dinosaurs and
decided they were really birds instead. So they start giving us
pictures like the one above, all nicely colored in and adorned with
poultry-like cartilage crowns, which, of course, they have recovered exactly none of.
I think they're laughing. I think they're going to see just how far
they can go with this made up crap until somebody notices that the
whole thing is a Confidencegameius
Giganticus, which is paleontology
for 'Gotcha.'
In the meantime I expect we'll see additional exciting announcements of
new 'dinosaurs' like the two below.
Duckioraptorasaurus Bulbosus
Wrennosaurus Humungiosus
It's just not working for me. I miss the old romping, stomping
'terrible lizards.' I don't want them to be just chickens the size of
airliners. What does anybody else think?
.
Are you ready, America? Here's our new national mommy. Her name is Meredith
Vereira, and she's the one who's going to be shouting 'Rise and
shine' at us every weekday morning on the Today Show. Like me, I know you're
hoping that she'll be a good mommy, filled with hatred for all things
Republican and Christian and filled with love for all things
saccharine, socialist, female, and paranoiacally child-related. With any
luck she'll share Katie's certainty that George Bush is destroying the
country, that Islam means 'Peace,' that Maya Angelou is a greater poet
than T. S. Eliot, and that the definition of good journalism is smiling
sweetly while while you ask hostile and unfair questions of those who
disagree
with your moronic assumptions about matters of politics, culture,
religion, and the raising of undisciplined psychopaths.
We don't doubt she's equipped with the uniquely female stamina for
interminable discussions about child seats in cars and the ineradicable
genetic flaws of men. But does she also have the requisite perky
narcissism to show off her colonoscopy,
breast cancer exam, pap smear, and home pregnancy test on live TV while
we're all trying to eat breakfast? And does she have the balls to keep
Matt Lauer in his assigned place as NBC's eunuch-in-chief? Only time
will tell, but you've got
to admit she's got the hips for it.
As for the old Katie, well, we hope her first year's salary is
strato-huge-ic, because when she sits her big ass down in that anchor
chair, it's the last time anyone will ever lay eyes on her. The
news is bad enough as it is. When it's being read to us by an aged elf
with a series of impenetrable grudges against the country that made her
a gazillionaire, it's unwatchable.
. To understand the context of this event, go here
and make sure to read the Update.
Got it? Good. We're looking for the member of the GOP leadership who
would be best in the role of Tuco from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Entries should be written in the Comments section of InstaPunk or
emailed to the address shown elsewhere on this page. They should be
funny, witty, or otherwise amusing.
If nothing is funny, witty, or amusing, we won't report. If you are,
we'll be laudatory. That's the prize.
.
We've heard of politicians who leave office and subsequently offer up
some opinions that are more candid than the exigencies of political
life allow. But Tom "The Hammer" Delay is clearly in the process of
setting a new record. He started spouting off within hours of announcing his resignation, which
means he's now shooting from the hip while still a member of Congress.
That's what we call a fast
gun. Frankly, he was fanning so many shots across the horizon
yesterday, that's it hard to determine who exactly he took down first,
but here's our preliminary count of the initial victims:
Departing Rep. Tom DeLay of Texas said
yesterday that House Republicans have no vision or agenda and have let
the Democrats choose the GOP leadership.
Bang.
The Democrat Leadership (with
collateral damage to Republicans)
Again from the Washington Times:
"The only reason I was indicted [was]
the stupid rule that allows the Democrats to pick the Republican
leadership," Mr. DeLay said.
He was referring to a party rule requiring that any Republican indicted
for a crime give up his leadership post. Mr. DeLay has contended that
is why the Democrats, who have no such rule, persuaded Ronnie Earle to
seek a grand jury indictment of Mr. DeLay and keep seeking it until he
got one.
Bang.
John McCain
Ibid:
He warned that if the immigration bill
sponsored by Sens. John McCain and Edward M. Kennedy becomes law, it
"would seriously undermine our own base" and cost Republicans seats in
the November elections. The House "should not conference with the
Senate on something we haven't discussed in the House."
Soon-to-retire Rep. Tom DeLay (R.-Tex.)
said today he would file an ethics complaint against Rep. Cynthia
McKinney (D.-Ga.) for striking a Capitol Police officer should no other
House member do so first.
DeLay’s comments came during a wide-ranging interview at his Capitol
Hill office with reporters, including HUMAN EVENTS Editor Terry Jeffrey.
“If nobody in this House files an ethics charge, I am,” DeLay said in
response to a question about McKinney. “Her behavior is outrageous. And
it’s not the only time.”
Bang.
Then he blew the smoke from his revolver, established a meaningful
personal and historical context for his outrage (ouch), and fired again:
The subject of McKinney came up after
DeLay recounted a fond memory he had of a Capitol Police officer killed
in the line of duty. When asked about his best and worst days as a
lawmaker, he said his best day was the GOP’s sweep in 1994.
The worst day, he recalled, was July 24, 1998, when Capitol Police
Detective John Gibson was shot to death by Russell Weston Jr. in
DeLay’s office. Fellow officer Jacob “J.J.” Chestnut was also killed
that day protecting the congressman’s staff from the gunman.
The episode prompted DeLay to erect a tribute to Gibson on his office
wall. He told reporters that a plaque he keeps in his office with the
words “This Could Be the Day” serves as a reminder of Gibson, who had
discussed its meaning with DeLay only two days before he was killed.
Bang, bang.
THIS JUST IN... MORE UNCONFIRMED REPORTS OF GUNFIRE FROM TOM DELAY...
We can't verify this because it's only an unlinked item on Drudge, but here's what's coming
over the wires:
REP. DELAY ON FOXNEWS: 'Cynthia
McKinney is a racist. She has a long history of racism. Everything is
racism with her. This is incredible arrogance, and -- that sometimes
hits these members of congress, but especially Cynthia McKinney'...
Bang, bang, bang, bang.
POSTSCRIPT. We don't know where
all this is going, of course, but we can't help hoping -- like the evil
conservatives we are -- that Tom reloads his shooting irons and moves
out after some additional targets. We have no objection if he pauses
along the way to take out Ronnie
Earle, who would look much better with a Texas-style epithet
branded between his eyes, but we'd also like to suggest that Tom shoot
off his mouth -- with cold and deadly candor -- about the real corruption in Congress: the
scruple-free cabal of rich and pampered aristocrats
who are trying to assassinate the presidency of George Bush and cripple
the foreign policy of the United States at one of the most precarious
moments in our history. His gunbelt ought to include rhetorical bullets
engraved with the names of Thomas Feingold, Charles Schumer, Teddy
Kennedy, Richard Durbin, Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer, Tom Harkin, Joseph
Biden, John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Charles Rangel, James
McDermott, Maxine Waters, John Dingel, and Barney Frank.
These people are all more despicable than even Lee Van Cleef would have
the stomach to play. Collateral damage is acceptable. If bringing down
Feingold mortally wounds the career of John McCain, so be it. If
Lincoln Chafee, Chuck Hagel, Howard Dean, and the Lords of the MSM
should get caught in the crossfire by unlucky accident, that would be
okay, too, especially if some Hollywood celebrities
are hanging out in the same filthy saloon.
If Tom is still in one piece after that, we'd really appreciate it if
he'd also take aim at the naysayers who are trying to dispel the rumor of
Scott McClellan's imminent (and crucial)
departure and do what comes naturally. Maybe other members of the GOP
could acquire some spine by example. You don't have to be all good and nicey-nicey to
accomplish some indisensable objectives. It's called remembering
the mission.
Of course, we know that makes us seem uncivil. But we
can live with that. We bet a lot of you could too.
UPDATE.
Do you remember the scene where Clint outdraws Lee Van Cleef and then
shoots his hat into the open grave before he makes Eli Wallach put a
noose around his own neck? Sure you do. Well, we've reached the part
where Lee is surprised as hell to discover he's beeen shot.
We won't make any jokes about shooting McKinney's hat because Neal
Boortz is still recovering from the apology he had to make about her headwear, but
we will allow ourselves to speculate about who gets to be Eli Wallach
in the big scene. Who in the GOP leadership would look best teetering
on a wooden cross while dangling from a tree branch and waiting for
Clint to shoot (or not) the rope that will otherwise hang him?
We give up. You decide. Contest rules are detailed in one of our
entries
for April 6, 2006.