artist's depiction by the XOFF News graphic department.
XOFF NEWS. Members
of the world press reported an astonishing story today. Here is one example
Naqoura (Lebanon), Aug. 19 (AP): French
soldiers today landed on Lebanon's Mediterranean coast, the first
reinforcement of United Nations peacekeepers in southern Lebanon.
Two inflatable dinghies motored ashore from two French warships
anchored in the Mediterranean near Naqoura, about 5 kilometers from the
Israeli border. Two French military helicopters hovered over the rocky,
emerald green bay where the peacekeepers came ashore.
The two boats, carrying about 5 soldiers each, were followed 10 minutes
later by a larger vessel flying a French flag.
Some 49 French troops were arriving today...
Our own correspondents struggled to find confirmation of the assertion
that as many as 49 troops were being sent into harm's way by the
government of France. Multiple eyewitnesses declimed to commit
themselves about what they had seen, declaring that they "couldn't
believe their own eyes."
Fortunately, we have been able to acquire photographic proof of the
extraordinary event from the PhotoShop departments of several
venerable and highly credible news organizations.
It was the AP who managed to capture the actual landing on Lebanese
sand sure looks hot, doesn't it?
The New York Times, famous for its well focused closeups of the action
in Lebanon, provided this compelling shot of a French trooper springing
to the task of disarming Hizbollah freedom fighters.
He clearly means business.
Finally, the ever- thorough Reuters
succeeded in recording the first tactical deployment of the mighty
French force as it rolled into operation. In fact, this short video has
already been nominated for a Pulitzer under the title "Fog of War."
yes, but definitely froggy, too, eh?
So all your doubts may now be laid to rest. The French are on the scene
to save the day. Vive la France.
NOTE TO OUR READERS: We
apologize for the fewer than normal entries this week. The site has
been beset by technical problems which are now hopefully resolved.
The XOFF News Team
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
GREYS. As owners of rescued racing greyhounds, we shouldn't be
showing you this video. For the overwhelming majority of dogs,
greyhound racing is a cruel and abusive sport, and it should be banned,
especially in the United States where state government involvement --
particularly blue states like Massachusetts and Connecticut -- has
subsidized the creation of large-scale racing stables in which no one
looks out for the welfare of the dogs. Despite the high value cited for
the dog in the video, safety first is not the rule in the world of the
track, but the exception. We shouldn't be showing you this.
Still, we couldn't resist. Those of us who love greyhounds and who are honest must admit we
also love the fact that they are so incredibly, blazingly fast. The
only faster land animal on earth is the cheetah, and everybody knows by
now that it's a sin to harm a cheetah. It is equally a sin to harm a
greyhound. One way to learn this truth if you haven't yet met one in
person is to comprehend the extraordinary beauty and power of their
So enjoy the video and then go visit one of these important websites.
Take the time to look at the pictures of the greys available for
adoption. Their faces, their expressions, their eyes are as beautiful
as their miraculous bodies. Who wouldn't want to live with a god? And
if the god is also friendly, docile, and calming by his mere presence,
who could resist?
Adopt a greyhound TODAY. You won't regret it.
No. Not if you're a man. Unless
you're Andrew Sullivan.
While liberals fret about avian flu and Global Warming, the real
menace to civilization continues to rage. Bush Derangement Syndrome has now,
apparently, spread to Madison Avenue, where advertising agencies who
used to know that offending 35 to 40 percent of their target audience
was just plain dumb have devised the little stroke of idiocy shown here.
Who wants to look like Sandra Bernhardt? Who shares her rape fantasies? Who else suffers from rooster-envy?
Who doesn't know a hundred "Republican thin-lipped bitches" infiinitely
more attractive than this ugly, loud-mouthed Lesbian asshole? And who
is so stupid as to think that all consumers of cosmetic products are
lefty radicals of the same stripe as the queer execs they lunch with in
If you find her attractive,
keep it to yourself. For your own good.
is on the case now. Excellent. While you're here, do NOT look at
23rd entry because it will be highly offensive to certain liberal
women, especially the mean Hamsher photo.
Peace in the middle east. Cool. All it takes is men of good will at the
United Nations, in Israel, and in the wholly owned subsidiary of
Hizbollah called Lebanon to say the right words and end the repugnant
use of force. Three cheers. We're so happy about this fine outcome that
we can't resist throwing in our own two cents worth of wisdom. Which
we'll do as soon as you read this excellent post by Dean
Did you read it? Good. Pop quiz: What does the word 'hudna' mean?
Gotcha. Go read Dean Barnett's post for real.
That's better. Now for our two cents. Here's Cent One: Neville
Chamberlain's triumphant announcement of peace in 1938.
Cent Two is from 1939.
Olmert take note.
We never once thought the Israelis were fools. Now we are entertaining
the thought. God help us all.