September 26, 2007 - September 19, 2007
Friday, September 01, 2006
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Report from Kosovo
The war for world peace isn't confined to Iraq, Afghanistan, and
Lebanon. Troops are still giving their all for Kosovo as well. Take a
moment to sit back and appreciate their sacrifice and their excellent
30, 2006 -- Talk about a miracle diet - Katie Couric has become
the Incredible Shrinking Anchorwoman.
Thanks to a computer "slight" of hand, the Tiffany network has made the
new face of "CBS Evening News" instantly drop about 20 pounds.
In a picture widely distributed to the media last month, a
normal-looking Couric wore a frumpy light gray suit and her trademark
But thanks to Photoshop, the popular editing software, the same photo,
printed in a CBS magazine, shows her looking much, much thinner - and
her suit has become a few shades darker....
It was later widely distributed by CBS as an official photo of its new
$15 million-a-year anchor- woman.
Honestly, it doesn't matter to us. We aren't going to be watching the
CBS Evening News with Katie Couric. We're not even going to make any
jokes about fauxtography, which seems to be all the rage in the MSM.
No, all we want is to see what happens to viewers when they observe
this special graphic for a minute solid.
Send us a description of your symptoms, but not your doctor's bills.
. The rising young hurricane Ernesto is all over the news today,
but it was our own Rita
Cosby who managed to obtain an exclusive interview with him. Here
is a transcript:
COSBY: Let me read what people are
saying about you, Ernesto.
The National Hurricane Center posted a
hurricane watch on Monday for the southern tip of the Florida
Peninsula, including the Keys and the Miami area, as Tropical Storm
Ernesto drew closer and threatened to strengthen....
At 8 a.m., the fifth named storm of the hurricane season had a top
sustained wind speed of 45 mph, down from 75 mph Sunday. He was
centered 20 miles west of Guantanamo, Cuba, and about 515 miles
southeast of Key West. He was moving northwest at 12 mph.
"He has a good chance to regain hurricane status," said Max Mayfield,
director of the National Hurricane Center.
Ernesto had been the first hurricane of the Atlantic storm season and
was 1 mph above the minimum for a hurricane Sunday, but he weakened as
he headed toward Cuba.
The storm battered Haiti and the Dominican Republic with heavy rain and
wind on Sunday...
How does this kind of press coverage make you feel?
ERNESTO: To be honest, Rita, it's a lot of pressure. Maybe you
won't understand this, but us storms prefer it when people are rooting
against us. It's an underdog thing. When the TV news guys say, "There's
a good chance Tropical Storm So-and-So will lose strength over Cuba and
then head out to sea," it gets our juices going. We play the music from
Rocky. We work out. We get a sense of mission about smashing some rich
tourist trap in the U.S. But this is different. When that Max Mayfield
says, "He has a good chance to regain hurricane status," I just feel
kind of deflated. How would he know? And, frankly, I don't like to be
told what to do. Sure, I know, you all want me to knock the crap out of
New Orleans again to show up that bastard Bush, but what's it to me?
Does anybody care what I want to do?
RITA: Well, it's not just Bush. There's a lot at stake. The way it
stands now, a lot of people are going to stop believing in Global
Warming if the U.S. doesn't get pasted by about a dozen hurricanes in
the next month. Doesn't that give you what you call "a sense of
ERNESTO: Look. I battered Haiti and the Dominican Republic. You think
that's easy? I'm tired and I hurt all over. I can't help it if no rich
meteorologists live in Haiti. Why is it all on me?
RITA: I don't want to be cruel, Ernesto, but this is your fifteen
minutes of fame. You can sit around feeling sorry for yourself and fade
into oblivion, or you can pump some iron, shatter a few cities on the
Gulf coast, and be on TV 24/7 for months. Don't you have any ambition?
ERNESTO: Pluck? That's rich. Look at me. You're bigger than I am. I
happen to like being a casual 45 mph kind of guy. You like Category 4
atom-smashers, you go do it. You're built for it.
RITA: Are you calling me fat?
ERNESTO: Well... yes. You've got those big arms, and that great big
tummy, and those legs. What would you call it except fat?
RITA: I'm big-boned.
RITA: I don't think you're being very nice.
ERNESTO: I happen to LIKE fat women.
RITA: I'm not fat. I'm big-boned.
ERNESTO. Whatever. Are you free any night this week?
RITA: Aren't you forgetting something?
RITA: Don't you already have dates with New Orleans and a few other
southern belles this week?
ERNESTO: You starting up with that again? Forget it, then. You're too
RITA: Does that mean you'll do your duty and take out New Orleans like
we need you to?
ERNESTO: Tell you what. You go to New Orleans and wait for me. I'll be
along in a jiff.
RITA: I suppose you call that wit.
ERNESTO: No. I call it incentive. Now I really must be going. I've got
some weight training to do.
END OF TRANSCRIPT.
There you have it. Make of it what you will, but we think Ernesto is a