Instapun***K.com Archive Listing
InstaPunk.Com

Archive Listing
February 3, 2009 - January 27, 2009

Monday, November 05, 2007


There's no accounting for the Irish.


THE SECOND SHOE DROPS.There was only one notable football game over the weekend. Forget the incredibly over-hyped nonsense between the Patriots and the Colts. If you really are one of the morons contemplating the notion that the Boston Patriots are the greatest team ever, ask yourself what the Pittsburgh Steelers of Chuck Noll would have done to pretty boy Brady in the days before salary caps and lefty sports announcers who mistake stupid gestures for virtue.


Heart of Darkness: The new candy-ass NFL. Lights out to save the world.

When you come up with the answer, keep it to yourself. For all our sakes.

In their heart of hearts, Mean Joe Green and Terry Bradshaw are smiling quietly to themselves. So are we. (Uh, forget the "perfect" Dolphins, who would also have beaten the 2007 Patriots despite a regular season schedule that was almost -- but not quite -- as easy as the 6-game free ride Boston gets just for being in the same division with the Jets (1-8), Bills (4-4), and Dolphins (0-8).)

Speaking of green (Were we? Sorry), the one notable game was Navy's defeat of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish after 43 consecutive years of losses We've written before about the extraordinary nature of this rivalry, but this year we're, well, overwhelmed. In a good way.

Navy can't recruit like a Division I-A team, which is why they're not a Division I-A team. They shouldn't be playing Notre Dame at all, and wouldn't be without the special relationship that exists between the two institutions. But given that Navy insists on playing teams it shouldn't, the Navy coach has adopted a beautiful strategy: run a quasi-wishbone run-run-run offense designed to exhaust the super athletes who aren't used to having to stop the run 50 or 60 times in a row. Never punt, (almost) never pass, and never quit. In this way, Coach Johnson uses the only advantage he has -- character -- to perfection. Most of the time, sheer talent overcomes character, but the opposition always knows they had to earn their victory against a smaller, slower but unbelievably relentless team. 

This year, though, Coach Weisz of Notre Dame had less talent than usual. Still more than Navy could ever put on the field, but he responded in a highly unusual way. He decided that he would play Navy's game and make it a contest of character for the Midshipmen as well as the Fighting Irish. He also made his team run and run and run, and he rmostly refused to punt, and even with the game on the line, he passed up the opportunity to win with an easy field goal:

The Irish drove to the 24, but on fourth-and-8 Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis decided to go for it rather than attempt a field goal. Chris Kuhar-Pitters, who earlier returned a fumble 16 yards for a touchdown, sacked Evan Sharpley with 45 seconds left.

Navy coach Paul Johnson immediately tried to return the favor, calling a bizarre succession of plays guaranteed to give Notre Dame one last chance at a 44th straight victory, but the gods of the Celts intervened, sending the game to overtime. In the end, Navy scored a two point conversion twice in a row, thus satisfying the Celtic gods and securing an historic victory for Annapolis. I have to admit it's the first time I've ever liked Notre Dame and the first example of true gentlemanly conduct I've seen in college football since Number One ranked Cornell conceded they'd beaten Dartmouth on a fifth down and forfeited a national title to preserve their honor.

Yes, as the title of the post proclaims, there's no accounting for the Irish. They have a knack for being surprising. Consider the case of a world-famous rock star who actually departs from the easy leftism that cradles his super-pampered kind and dares to speak the truth instead of the usual bullshit:

There is an imminent threat. It manifested itself on 9/11. It’s real and grave. It is as serious a threat as Stalinism and National Socialism were. Let’s not pretend it isn’t.

Hats off to Irish superstar Bono.

In honor of this odd, lovely race, we'll conclude with two non-topical references that nevertheless reinforce the central point. One is a book, How the Irish Saved Civilization, which you can still procure for less than a sufficient quantity of Guinness. The other is a puzzlingly awful recitation of The Lake Isle of Innisfree, by its author, William Butler Yeats.

All in all, you'll find you just can't ever figure them out. They'll be exactly who they are all the way to the end of the world. That's what it means to be Irish. Among other things.




Friday, November 02, 2007


Diamond State Reeducation

University of Delaware Resident Advisers leading a seminar
to improve the racial and gender perspectives of white males.


BREAKING THE CHAIN? I don't want to be a wet blanket, but does it seem to anyone else that the rightosphere is celebrating a mite too early on this:

Thanks to FIRE and the blogospheric backlash, the University of Delaware has retreated from its student indoctrination program run by the residential life department.

But, hey, weren't they just denying it was a mandatory program yesterday and extolling the program's "free-speech enhancing" agenda?

Call it the University of Delaware's Emily Litella moment:

Neeeever mind.

FIRE has all the details here....

One Orwellian nightmare killed. Countless more still to go…

And this:

Earlier bmac blogged about a University of Delaware indoctrination program which maintained among other things that 'all whites are racists'.

Turns out once people find about this sort of thing, the pressure and reality are too much for these morons. Today, the university's President announced the program would be placed under review.

And some HotAir:

Wow. The combination of FIRE + blogs proved to be too much for the University of Delaware.

Late Thursday, University of Delaware President Patrick Harker released on the school's website a Message to the University of Delaware Community terminating the university's ideological reeducation program, which FIRE condemned as an exercise in thought reform. He stated, "I have directed that the program be stopped immediately. No further activities under the current framework will be conducted"...

The program wasn't "mischaracterized" by anyone other than the university itself, when it wrote that the program wasn't mandatory. A plain reading of the program's materials proved that beyond doubt.

Nevertheless, the program is dead, and that's a very good thing....

You guys made a difference in this. Victory dance!

Call me paranoid, but I don't believe something as purely sick in the head as this program is lacks for powerful, irrationally determined sponsors. Some dragons can't be considered slain until the bloody severed head is hoisted on a pike above the crowd.

Remember what happened to Harvard president Larry Summers? Let's see just how far President Harker gets with his "review" before the U.D. Arts & Humanities faculty comes down on his head like a ton of bricks for racist, sexist, fascist ungoodspeak.


One of the images you get when you search for "severed dragon head."

I'm just saying. Skepticism and continued vigilance are the only prudent course here.





Simple Answer to a Stupid Question:

"What's the Governor supposed to do?"

ARREST THEM! LIKE YOU WOULD ANYONE ELSE.

DEBATE REDUX. Everyone's acting as if this is rocket science. If an unlicensed driver is involved in an automobile accident -- and they don't happen to be illegal aliens -- the system is pretty much merciless. If you don't have insurance or a license or a valid registration, you get cuffed and carted off to jail. Your car is impounded. You're looking, in most states, at automatic jail time, as much as a year in, say, the State of New Jersey just for driving without a license and having no insurance.

That's certainly enough time to ascertain the immigration status of the offender and to begin deportation proceedings. Insurance rates have been out of control for years because all legal drivers are paying insurance against the day when they have an accident with an unlicensed, uninsured deadbeat. We're already paying the freight for all the illegals. Why is it that the law enforcement issue suddenly becomes opaque and insoluble when the offender has committed the prior crime of sneaking illegally into the country? Why shouldn't illegal aliens experience the strong, humiliating arm of justice in exactly the same way native-born American offenders do?

Why? WHY?

Will somebody please explain why the handling of foreign criminals is so much more complicated than the handling of a Yonkers doofus with a suspended license who runs into somebody in his unregistered, uninsured vehicle? (Does it by any chance have something to do with the motor-voter law?)


What EXACTLY is the damn mystery about all this?

I'm waiting....




Wednesday, October 31, 2007



YouTube Wednesday:

Therapy

Rage Boy. More about him here.

THE VICIOUS CIRCLE. We were pretty concerned and saddened to read about all the torment over at the DailyKos yesterday. We just never knew that so many people had had their whole lives wrecked by the Bush presidency. People like this poor fellow:

Bush has also damaged my mental health.

After I actually took the trouble to inform myself about politics a couple years ago, and learned the true extent of the damage Bush has done to this country, I have a constant boiling rage inside me. Absolutely constant. Never ceases, though sometimes I can get it down to a simmer so I can go out in public and hang out with friends without doing something stupid. On top of the anger is a generous dose of fear and anxiety, coming directly from the Bush administration's march to fascism.

Frequently, I'm so intensely angry that I hit things. I just broke my bookshelf today because I hit it. My knuckles have decent callouses on them from hitting things, and various pieces of my property show signs of my rage. Thankfully, I've never turned violent against people since I was in high school, though I was sorely tempted to deviate the septum of a wingnut who called me a traitor and faggot to my face at the anti-war march last Saturday.

Of course, it's unhealthy to harbor this much anger, especially if I'm stuffing it down all the time so people around me don't see me acting borderline psychotic. These emotions leak out, turn into other emotions, like depression, which I've fought with since college. I've also developed a venomous hatred of Bush and his cronies and the 23-percenters that support him. Hatred's never a good emotion to hold, but there it is. I literally hate those motherf*ckers who are destroying our country.

It's always our desire to assist those who are in misery. That's why today's multimedia offerings have been chosen specifically to provide balm and succor to the KosKids so terribly afflicted by the President. It's difficult to find therapeutic materials containing absolutely no inflammatory content, such as references to America and other unspeakable evils, but we've done our best. For example, this first video is intended simply to clear the cobwebs a bit, let a little fresh air into the fevered mind. It takes place entirely in the U.K., so there's no danger of seeing a flag or a Humvee or a U.S. Marine. (By all means, take advantage of the full screen option on this one. Just click on the box at the extreme right hand in the bottom edge of the window: . The experience will be more holistic or something. Also, don't feel guilty. The Caterham 7 is very fuel efficient.)

Blow Out Them Cobwebs, Dude.

(Click on pic to go to YouTube file.)

The next step is to achieve a state of deep calm, reach a zone far removed from the hurly-burly of modern life. Sit back, relax, and feel those good natural vibes.

Get Those Alpha Waves Going.


Tragically, life can't be exclusively about ferns. At some point, civilization really did happen and brought with it all the hectoring anxieties that accumulate into rage and depression. What's needed is a freeing perspective. It helps to remember that in the grand scheme of things our lives are fleeting, and only time is eternal. This next clip may be disturbing at first, but it takes us ultimately to a better place. You'll see. (If you've been following along with our therapy but aren't a KosKid, you might also find some solace in this related clip. But be warned that it contains imagery which may be profoundly offensive and even dangerous for progressives.)

Time Flies. Really.



There. We got past all that messy and awful technological hell and broke through to a natural state where there's nothing but us and glorious Mother Earth. You should be starting to feel better now. Let's build on that natural euphoria by rolling around some more in pure nature.

It's Really Cool. Nature, that is.


Oops. The last part of that clip took a turn we weren't expecting. Despite our best efforts, it turns out that even nature is part of the problem. Meaning human nature. The last shot reminds us of a couple of things. Like this:

The Terrible Ubiquity of Chimpy.


Okay. We get it. We understand why you're so incredibly enraged. We are too. Every road leads finally to the same conclusion. There's only one way to relieve your distress and return you to the state of dignified virtue you have every right to enjoy. So here you go:

Ultimate Justice.


Feeling all better now? Good. Have a nice day for a change. Idiots.

P.S. For all the non-progressives out there, here's a slightly different version of ultimate justice. (h/t Ace). Just to take the bad taste out of your mouth. Beats the hell out of those ferns, don't it?





Democratic Debate Highlights:

Hillary Goes Rosa Klebb on Russert

It was touch and go there for a while, but fortunately
Hil's top campaign adviser squeezed off the last word.

YTW. It's a tough old world out there when all the men are ganging up on you. That's why a girl needs to be heavily armed at all times. As you might expect, Hillary was ready for the onslaught at last night's debate -- in fact, she was the only who came in costume for Halloween, unless you count the unconvincing macho masks of Russert, Obama, Edwards, and Dodd.


Hillary rules.

When, predictably, the nancy boys of the surrender party and the MSM tried to make her look bad for being on both sides of the New York driver's licenses for illegals issue, she showed them all. Nobody can stop her from being on as many sides of an issue as there are sides. See for yourself (h/t Ace of Spades).


(Click on image for video link.)

And if there was ever any doubt about who was in the right, Hillary's Girl Friday removed it with her unlinkable shot at the villain of the piece via the Drudge Report:



That's right. Russert's mask has been ripped off his smarmy face. He's no hero. He's belligerent, that's what he is. As if that has any place in a presidential campaign.

At least we've solved the mystery of the ugly shoes.

What?

We could have sworn somebody mentioned ugly shoes. It's possible we could be mistaken, but we almost never are. Happy Halloween.

P.S. For much more of YouTube Wednesday, go here.

UPDATE.  So you think we overstate things here? Here's an excerpt from Thursday's edition of The Hill:

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s (D-N.Y.) top advisers, doing damage control after the candidate’s debate performance Tuesday, told supporters on a conference call Wednesday that the campaign needed more money to fight back....

One caller from Oklahoma City said that “the questions … were designed to incite a brawl,” and that Russert’s and Brian Williams’s moderating was “an abdication of journalistic responsibility.”

Another said Russert “should be shot,” before quickly adding that she shouldn’t say that on a conference call.

Penn and Mantz said they were hearing a lot of the same sentiment from other supporters, but they do not plan to engage the media or the debate’s moderators.

“We’re not challenging the media on that, but the sentiment you’ve expressed is obviously one I’ve heard,” Penn said.

Penn added that he conducted polling before and after the debate — a focus group, perhaps — that saw Clinton as the winner. Sen. Joseph Biden (Del.) “had a good night” and John Edwards “did better,” Penn said, though he added Edwards’s numbers have been going down. “Obama did not have a particularly good night,” Penn said.

Those results diverge sharply from the assessment of most analysts who watched the debate, and thought Clinton did poorly. Her campaign appeared to be in full damage-control mode Wednesday.

Shot? Hmmm. Where have we heard that before?




Monday, October 29, 2007


...But does anyone here
remember comebacks?


He was an ordinary Joe. Unless he wasn't.

HAPPY, DEAN? Yeah, yeah. Patriots. Perfect season. Boring. How many of you really enjoy watching a steamroller leveling asphalt? Message to NFL fans. What's truly inspiring isn't the best agglomeration of players money can buy. It's the team that overcomes adversity to win the big prize against all odds.

Here's a scenario you can sink your teeth into. An NFL team starts like a house afire and after the first five games has a 4-1 record. Mission accomplished. Or well on the way. You know how that goes. Six games later, they're 6-5. Losers on a one-way trip to oblivion.

Who wouldn't be bummed? Their fans were outraged. Both of the U.S. Senators from California -- yes, kiddies, we're talking about the 49ers -- were, well, pessimistic. One said, "The season is lost. There's absolutely no way this team is going to the playoffs. I support the players, but it's time to fire all the coaches and start a long-term rebuilding program." The other said, "Californians have been lied to. We were told this team was a contender, a winner. Obviously, they aren't. They're total losers. An utter disgrace. Anyone who supports the players -- as I absolutely and unequivocally do -- must demand that the few talented members of the team be benched for the rest of the season so that no one worthwhile gets injured in a losing cause."

The rest is, as they say, history. The 1988 San Francisco 49ers went on to win four of their last five games, the divisional playoff, the NFC Championship, and the Super Bowl. You can see their record here.

Along the way, most of their fans rejected the official condemnations of their senators. They had faith. In fact, they enjoyed the season far more than Patriots fans are enjoying this season.

Is there a lesson? Of course not. The NFL has nothing to do with real life.



Unless it does.





The New American Way

Sweeps are cool.

AMERICAN PASTIME. According to some, Boston is the birthplace of America. It's where they had that big tea party the Brits weren't invited to, because if you're invited to a tea party in Boston you'd better be somebody important like a Kennedy or a Kerry or some other rich immigrant from lowlifeland who has more money than God and therefore knows how the rest of us poor schlubs should live.

There are no accidents. There's only an endless chain of symbolic events. The World Series and the unfolding season of the New England Patriots demark a New American Way consistent with the the most ancient traditions of a city which always turned up its nose at common virtues like hard work, quiet accomplishment, and unassuming perseverance. In Boston, life comes down to the simple question of who's better than everyone else and who can send the strongest and most ineluctable message about that betterness to the hoi polloi.

That's why the new American Way is about sweeps. Win fast or don't play at all. Yes, you can toy with the real losers -- like anybody from Cleveland -- but there isn't anybody who doesn't know you were better than them before the competition even got started. When the chips are finally on the table, you've got to win, win, win, win or else the trogs will suspect you're not divine. Maybe not the trogs of the mass media, who always knew you were divine and rooted for you shamelessly throughout, but definitely the trogs who have been taught to quit as soon as their celebrity faves begin to sweat with something like effort.

They need the Sox to sweep and the Patriots to go undefeated. Because in the New American Way, what's most important is trusting the better ones to ride herd on the ordinary ones through a display of raw talent, the rawer the better. Raw talent always seems democratic, even when it's anything but. That's always been the Boston Way.. Thank goodness it's finally infiltrating the rest of the country.


The New American Hero. Slob Appeal.

Utopia has been achieved when the ordinary folk begin to believe they can identify with raw talent by imitating the raw part. We're there. Now that we have slob superheroes, you too can be a superhero simply by being a slob. The winning part is easy. That's why they call it a sweep. And if anyone can see you sweat, it's time to bug out and find a new venue better made for slobs.

Long live the Red Jax.





You knew her.
You really did.
(Unless you're not 50)

Big buttons, bad hair, and a worse attitude.

CAN WE TALK? It's not the prospect of a female president that's unacceptable. (I'd have voted for Jeane Kirkpatrick if she'd run.) It's the prospect of this female as president. Even women know there are nasty women who can't be trusted. Hillary isn't just an example of the nasty woman type, she's an archetype. They were absolutely everywhere in the sixties, and everyone knew who they were. Fortunately, there aren't as many of them around now. Which is both good and bad. The problem is, you have to be almost as as old as Hillary is to know who she really is. For example, this picture is meaningless or misleading to everyone under the age of 50:



She wasn't a rapscallion hippie rebel, full of fun and hormones. She was an arid Wellesley communist. She wore ugly shoes. She had no sense of humor. She was absolutely without charm. She smiled only because people expected it. She thought intelligence was about grades and board scores. She knew she was the smartest person she'd ever met. She didn't know that all the most charming and intelligent people avoided her. Except the ones who knew they could use her. She knew she was an ugly duckling, but she never connected that perception with behaviors and attitudes she could have changed. She was a bitch, whether you were male or female. When she didn't know she was being photographed, she looked like this:



The only guys who ever wanted to have sex with her were sick in the head. They wanted to rape her, to spew their contempt, hatred and rage deep inside her. She extrapolated from her experience of such men a view of the male sex that had nothing to do with reality. She learned to want the kind of power that can subjugate men and neutralize the charm of both men and women. She married the charm she most feared and hated, because she intended to use what she didn't have and work toward the personal victory of seeing her own obsession triumph over what she despised and envied most. No man has ever given her an orgasm. This is not because she lacks passion. It's because she won't give them the satisfaction of seeing her lose control.

But she's not a Lesbian either. In fact, she loathes women. Because they are so susceptible to the irrational feelings they experience in their breasts and cunts. She has those feelings, too, but she has learned to redirect them. Her only aphrodisiac is power. You'd think she'd be uncomfortable in photo opportunities like this, but she actually relishes them.



Using women makes her feel more like a man. She understands her husband's contempt for women because it mirrors her own. Not that she wants to be a man. She doesn't. Her ultimate ambition is to be without sex, as pure an expression of odorless power as Stalin, Hitler, Mao, or Ch'in. She has a reproduction of Hatshepsut, the only female pharaoh, in her living quarters. But she does want her daughter to regard her as a father. The psychological implications of this desire are almost infinite, but she doesn't think about them.

In short, if you're 50+, you know her. You met her in college, avoided her like the plague, and afterwards you pretended she didn't exist -- for your whole adult life. But she does exist. And she's even worse than the stereotype that dwells unexamined in your imagination.



Do you really want her as an American President?

What plans are you making?

[h/t to Michelle Malkin and Zombie for the pictures.]


A camisole would be appropriate, at the very least.

I don't. I'm getting ready. But my readiness plans are all about hiding for eight years. I don't hate her, but I'm pretty sure she hates me. I think it might be time to get scarce.





Back to Archive Index

Amazon Honor System Contribute to InstaPunk.com Learn More