September 4, 2011 - August 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A Peek Inside
Skull & Bones!
There's this new movie, The
. I hear it was also a book. One or the other or
both names the Phoenix
at Harvard as an actor in the drama.
So now I guess we can expect a new wave of Discovery Channel
documentaries about the Phoenix SK Club to add to the sinister
revelations about Yale's Skull & Bones.
Has it occurred to anyone that the definition of a secret society is
that it succeeds in remaining secret? Skull & Bones isn't a
secret. You're all panting and upset about it. The Phoenix Club isn't a
secret. Here it is:
Want to know a real
The Porcellian Club. Harvard's oldest final club. Founded in 1791. They
have their own gate into Harvard Yard. All anybody knows about them --
even among the other Harvard final clubs -- is rumor and speculation.
They're an eminence so gray as to be nearly invisible.
Porcellian Gate. See the boar's head? No? Why it's so secret.
Other clubs take in ten to twelve members a year. The Porcellian
accepts two or three. One of the few things we know about them is who
Kennedy (The Owl), Jack and Bobby Kennedy (The Spee), Franklin
Roosevelt (The Fly), J.P. Morgan (The Delphic -- in fact, he founded it
to get in), and the Facebook boys (The Phoenix). uh, a point of
explanation. At Harvard, the Porcellian is like Harvard; if you get in,
that's where you go.
All of which begins to make Skull & Bones look like pretty small
potatoes. First of all, the Bushes and Kerrys obviously didn't get into
Harvard, or why would they go to Yale? And even if they had, there's no
chance they would have gotten into the, uh, Porcellian.
If you have mystique even in a world of secrets, you must be special.
The scuttlebutt at Harvard is that admission to the Porcellian is a
free ticket to the rest of your life. If you need connections, the
Porcellian will provide. If you need money, the Porcellian will
provide. If you need, well, anything, the Porcellian will provide.
Wikipedia has a standard disinformation
that lists some of the members. Of course, they don't list all
the members. No mention of
Count Dracula ('96), Darth Vader ('03), or Bonaparte Louis-Napoleon
('88), for example.
Or the Archangels Michael ('91), Gabriel ('91), and Lucifer ('91).
I'm just saying. Nobody nowhere knows what goes on in this building.
Shouldn't the MSM start getting to the bottom of the real secret
society that runs everything? Or are they just too afeared to do so?
my dear. He always was a smacked ass.
This guy. Sorry. A teaspoon of brains with a tablespoon of TV
Q-attractiveness. Do I sound bitter? The missus continues to defend
him. "I used to like him," she lamely explains.
Stop it. He's an idiot. Here's his latest, at his new home, the Daily Beast
. Oh, Yes. It's fisked
How the Media Blew the Midterm
The media narrative by now is set in concrete: The voters are teed off,
rising up, mad as hell and ready to wreak havoc. [Kewl]
There is a whiff, if you read between the lines, that the expected
outcome is somehow unjust. [Huh?]
The Democrats are going to get their backsides handed to them, in this
telling, because the Obama administration has clumsily failed to
explain what it’s done for the folks, and because of slightly scary
passions unleashed by the Tea Party crazies. [Let's repeat that: "Slightly scary
passions unleashed by Tea Party crazies." It's scary to object to
multi-trillion dollar deficits. It's crazy to want a smaller federal
government. Got it. Thanks, HOWARD.]
The journalistic tone was somewhat different in 2006, when exasperated
voters handed the House and Senate to the Dems, and 2008, when Barack
Obama sold himself as a post-partisan savior.[Different? Really? Ya think?]
I’m not saying this is intentional [of
, or that the MSM are mangling the midterms.[No, no, no, no, no, I'd never say that...]
Many voters are angry, especially about the anemic economy, and it’s
their right to toss out whoever they deem to be the bums. But on some
level, many journalists believe the White House has accomplished a
heckuva lot [uh, yeah, we know many
journalists believe that; and you left the Post for the Beast,
and they see the Tea Partiers as inchoate and
maddeningly inconsistent—denouncing big bad government while clinging
to their Medicare and Social Security benefits. [Tired of this liberal touchstone. You
force us into a system and then denounce us when we object because we
take the crumbs we're allowed. Doesn't mean we ever liked what we were
forced to accept.]
It’s as if the pundits are collectively
engaged in a group grope, feeling their way around this strange and
sharp-toothed political animal that resembles nothing they’ve
encountered before. ["Nothing we've
ever encountered before." Yawn. Nothing rhey've ever bothered to cover
as journalists before. How could that be? WE DON'T LIKE YOU, DON'T TRUST YOU, DON'T TALK
TO YOU. And fortunately for us, you rarely ask. News Flash: We think
you journalists are lefty assholes. Whatcha gonna do about THAT, Howie?]
Few have gone as far as the late (and usually great) Peter Jennings,
explaining the 1994 Gingrich takeover by declaring that “the voters had
a temper tantrum.” [Unlike the tantrum Jennings had on 9/11, questioning the courage of his president while the Secret Service was fighting a losing battle to keep him away from the White House. What a man, er, clothes horse.]
But news organizations were late to the Tea Party
phenomenon, and are still grappling to explain it—in part because of
its amorphous and unofficial nature. [Always
upsetting when voters are "unofficial."]
They were blindsided
by Scott Brown’s win and Lisa Murkowski’s loss. [Something about pros versus amateurs?
“The media profile is of an angry, racist rabble, and that doesn’t
match the people I’ve seen in focus groups,” says Republican pollster
Whit Ayres, describing the Tea Party movement. “There’s a
predisposition in the more liberal elements of the media to paint
Republicans as unsophisticated rubes who don’t appreciate all the
wonderful things the Obama administration and the Democratic Party have
done for the country. It’s just out of touch with the reality.” [Check.]
For Jano Cabrera, a Democratic strategist, the subject strikes a nerve.
“My wife and I were having this very conversation,” he says. “When we
were trying to seize power, we had justified anger, and now we talk
about uninformed voters.” Obama inherited unprecedented challenges,
Cabrera says, but in politics “you can’t go back and say it’s the other
guy’s fault.” [Awwwww. Except that your guy keeps doing it, and doing and doing it, and...]
[This] is a year in which facts—the preferred currency of the
reality-based media [Huh? Reality-based? Did I miss the memo?]
don’t seem to matter. Journalists report that Sharron Angle had favored
privatizing Social Security, spoke of people considering “Second
Amendment remedies” and counseled rape victims to turn “a lemon
situation into lemonade” by giving birth—and she’s still competitive
with Harry Reid. [Hey. Let's lynch
her. A corrupt liar would be ever so much better.]
Media outlets report that Christine O’Donnell, the
onetime witchcraft dabbler [Fuck
, opposes masturbation [at one time, or is everything present
tense with you, Howie?. Which must mean Obama is a cokehead, right?
and considers evolution “a myth,” [as
do many serious scientists]
and she laughs it off (while
trailing in the race). [If we asked
you why you bailed on the Post, dying from its own liberal poison,
would you answer or laugh it off? Just so.]
gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino calls gay pride parades
“disgusting,”[they are, as even you
know after a beer or two]
hurls baseless charges about
Andrew Cuomo’s sex life (after fathering a child out of wedlock
himself) and tells a New York Post columnist “I’ll take you out”—and
still hasn’t been laughed out of the race. [Let's see. After Spitzer and Bubba, would
you stake your life, Howie, on Andrew Cuomo's marital fidelity? Your
The biggest media blunder, in my view, was the walk-on-water coverage
that Obama drew in 2007 and 2008. [When
did this insight come to you, Howard? Yesterday? Last week? Last month?
At any rate, really fucking brilliant insight.]
Who, after all, has absorbed more abuse from the “lamestream media”
than Sarah Palin, who can hit back with a Facebook post that bypasses
the old gatekeepers? [Excuse me? How
does this point follow from the previous point? Oh. Thank you. It
doesn't. It's just a standard liberal brain fart.]
In such a topsy-turvy season, one simple solution is… blaming the
voters! They are so caught up in faulting Obama for everything but bad
weather, so mesmerized by the right-wing noise machine that they can’t
see straight. [Okay. Finally getting
it. Your deal with the Post required you to leave your brain behind
with your keyboard. People who have no jobs and object to trillions of
dollars of debt shoveled onto the shoulders of their kids and grandkids
are simply dupes of the "the rightwing noise machine." Did you even go
to college, Howie?]
Yes, the refrain goes, high unemployment is
heartbreaking, but do people really think they’re going to do better
under Speaker Boehner and Majority Leader McConnell? [uh, yeah.]
Small problem: These are the same voters who broke with more than two
centuries of Oval Office white men by electing Obama. Weren’t many of
us praising their judgment and tolerance then? (Yes, I know they’re not
the exact same voters, in that turnout is smaller in off-years and many
disaffected Democrats are likely to stay home. And Obama, like Ronald
Reagan, swept in many party colleagues who could not survive in
marginal districts once the wave receded.) [Excuse me. What the fuck does the term
'white men' have to do with anything you've mentioned thus far?]
On the merits, journalists are right that Obama’s accomplishments have
been minimized. [Journalists are
right? On the merits? On the merits?
Since when? Are these the same journalists who sold the American
public on an absentee state legislator as president of the United
States? Those journalists? Really?]
Health care reform,
however it pans out, was a huge achievement [Achievement how? As in curing cancer? Or
dissolving the Reichstag? They're both achievements, but maybe not
; the overall package remains unpopular [fancy that...]
, the individual
parts (such as not excluding kids for preexisting conditions) not so
much [Kids. The only thing we're
supposed to care about? Guess what. People care about other things,
"such as" their own lives, HOWARD. God, you make me sick.]
Tightening financial regulation was a heavy lift against the
forces of Wall Street. [Give me a
fucking break. Goldman Sachs wrote that law.]
much-derided stimulus law saved plenty of jobs.[Did it, Howard? Did it, really? You're a
fucking lunatic, you are. The only jobs saved were government jobs,
which is nice for the government employees, but that is NOT stimulus.
It's just government spending. I'm making a note right now to myself to
look if and where you ever went to college. Before I do that I already
know that when it comes to economics you're every bit as dumb as you
look on TV.]
All that has been overshadowed because many voters believe the
president bobbled the economy while setting his sights on social
engineering. [Aww. Stupid, stupid
But here, too, the short attention span of today’s
journalism played a role. The health care and banking battles were
covered ad nauseum, but once they passed, the press lost interest [maybe because somebody finally read the
goddam bill and realized all the Obama-killing particulars within it
] and moved on to mosque mess and the Koran-burning
preacher and whatever other diversions were available. [You're an arrogant little prick,
beloved MSM distracted ITSELF with all those stories. The rest of us
kept our eyes on throwing the bums out. Which is why you're whining so
incoherently right now.]
The biggest media blunder, in my view [HA!],
was the walk-on-water coverage that Obama drew in 2007 and 2008. The
only real debate was whether he was more like FDR (Time) or Lincoln
(Newsweek). [Not true, asshole. Plenty
of us were asking the right questions. You and your ass-kissing
brethren simply refused to do your jobs.]
obviously played a role in creating his own myth, but it was the
breathless media that sent expectations soaring into the stratosphere.
Once Obama had to grapple with two wars, a crippled economy and
reflexive Republican opposition
he had no place to go but down. The press has long
since fallen out of love with the president, but the overheated
hyperbole did him no favors.
Who’s to blame for the coming electoral tsunami? We ought to be careful
about dumping on the most convenient scapegoat, those moronic voters.
In politics, it’s not that complicated: you either deliver or you pay
the price. [Right.]
Bottom line? Howie should have stayed with the Washington Post.
Unshackled and unedited as an inquiring mind, he exposes himself as a
Yup. Looked it up. As we surmised. Howie went to the Columbia School of
Journalism. No wonder fisking him is like shooting fish in a barrel. If
there's any one thing that particular school doesn't teach, it's
Monday, October 18, 2010
A Fan Story You
Won't See on ESPN
clip is edited. It took a lot longer for Jackson to show signs of life.
I'm not going to labor this point, but it still has to be
made. A couple weeks ago, ESPN made a huge story out of the response Donovan
would receive from Philadelphia Eagles fans, whom they
condemned in advance for boorish behavior that didn't subsequently
occur. Eagles fans gave McNabb a prolonged standing ovation, just like
Flyers fans gave former Flyer Simon Gagne the other night when he made his
first return to Philly in an
Now here's something ESPN won't
make a huge story of, or even a story at all. The New York Giants game
yesterday was being played at the New Meadowlands Stadium at the same
time the Eagles-Falcons game was being played in Philly. About 24 hours
before, Rutgers played Army on the same field the Giants were playing
on. A Rutgers player was injured making a tackle. He lay motionless on
the field for five minutes before being carried away on a stretcher,
and it's a national story that he is presently (hopefully only
temporarily) paralyzed from the neck down. As he lay on the field, both
the Rutgers team and the Army team formed a circle around him, every
player on one knee with head bowed. Most of the fans at the Giants game
probably didn't know this, but it hardly matters. What does matter is
that the Giants Jumbotron played some portion of the clip above (the hit and its immediate aftermath) almost immediately
after it happened. DeSean Jackson lay motionless on the field. What did
the Giants fans do? Gasp and fall into murmuring near silence? No. They erupted in loud cheers and applause. Eagle
superstar down. Joy reigns supreme.
But Eagles fans once threw snowballs at Santa Claus. In fact, they do
it every time ESPN runs yet another story about the thuggishness of
Philadelphia Eagles fans. They can rerun that footage a thousand times,
and it won't make up for what the self-anointed 'superior' New Yorkers
did yesterday afternoon.
btw, Eagles fans applauded both
players as they were helped off the field, including the one who
initiated the hit, because he had been injured too, and who knew how
seriously? Multiple NFL pundits have said it was one of the deadliest,
scariest collisions they'd ever seen. DeSean Jackson has a 'serious'
concussion and there's no certain date for his return. I've yet to hear
news about Donte Robinson, the injured Falcon, but we wish him a full
recovery as well. The fanatical haters of Philly SportsTalk Radio have
been busy all
morning affirming their belief that Robinson's hit was not a deliberate
injure but an inevitable by-product of a fiercely contested NFL game.
I know you don't want to hear about it, but somebody had to point it
Sorry if I'm being a bore. Don't get disgusted. I have it on good
authority InstaPunk has something to say today about the mid-term
elections. I expect he won't even mention Philadelphia.
The Silly Season Is Also
Mean, Dumb & Delusional
Simple Rule: Don't shake hands with people who hate you.
. Although polls try to suggest there is, there's
that conveys what's going on in politics, the media, and the electorate
All we have are fragments. all of them sharp and deadly in an overall
environment that is hostile to the point of murder. I've got a handful
of fragments to reference, but here's my context: an underground world
documented by the National
Cave of Swords, Naica, Mexico
We're talking thickets of killing blades in every direction. Covered in
one of the most riveting Nat Geo documentaries I've ever seen: Into the Lost Crystal Caves
once, the story is as much about the courage of the explorers as it
is about the importance of their objective:
It takes genuine bravery to enter such dangerous territory. (I urge one
and all to explore the host of photos, videos, and other content
associated with the documentary. It's eye-opening and mind-blowing.
Pedantic, pedestrian-seeming geologists really do
care enough about minerals to
put their lives on the line for them. What we can only call passion.
The Chilean miners aren't the only courageous ones of the underground.
song I linked earlier
isn't only for them.)
Metaphor established. We're seeing something unprecedented this year.
An incursion by private citizens into a realm that is reflexively
hostile and generally fatal to all but the purest Narcissists. I've
resisted commenting on particulars of late because it all gets so ugly
and mean and irrelevant to the larger issues as it rolls like a tumbril
toward the Guillotine of personal assassination we call the democratic
But it is
time to take note
of the environment private citizen politicians
are daring to enter -- the Cave of Swords -- and to acknowledge the
bravery of the unlikely
victors and even of those who are likely to be done in via ridicule and
life-destroying slander en route.
Something I should save for the end but can't. (I try to sequence
things in logical builds, but I also obey my intuition...) I'm
referring to the appalling interview Chris Wallace conducted with Carly
Fiorina on Fox News Sunday
yesterday. I've heard the man describe his interviewing technique on
multiple occasions, particularly in response to the question, "What do
you do when a politician won't answer the question?" He replied that
practice is to follow up one, maybe two times, just enough to establish
that the question isn't being answered, then move on. On Sunday,
though, with Fiorina, he followed up not one, not two, not four, but six
times on the same absolutely
phony question: How was she going to make up for the 4 trillion dollar
federal revenue shortfall created by her proposed tax cuts?
The mild-mannered, baby-faced Fox star seemed to be channelling his
raving leftist father. He kept repeating, almost viciously at times, "4
trillion dollars" as if
the figure had some absolute value. For anyone who knows anything about
economics, it doesn't. It's just an annoyingly brainless exercise in
the kind of static analysis that makes a joke of all liberal economics.
Raise tax rates, revenues increase. Reduce tax rates, revenues
decline. The analysis is static because it fails to recognize that
changing tax rates alters behavior in the economy. Everything doesn't
stand still in perpetuity the way the CBO is required to pretend it
does. Which is why tax revenues increased
when JFK cut taxes, when
Reagan cut taxes, and when GWB cut taxes. And why tax revenues declined
when FDR (and Hoover before him) increased taxes on the rich people who
might otherwise have reinvested in the private economy.
Mad Man Mike Wallace
I concede I was almost equally pissed at Fiorina for not raising the
static analysis argument, but conservative politicians across the board
seem unwilling to risk confounding the comprehension of voters on such
a seemingly counter-intuitive point. She probably, private citizen that
she is, has too many professional advisers at this point to remember
that voters do
sense. And she's walking a tightrope with
the wiftiest voters in the country, the airheads of California. Which
is another reason why Chris Wallace's blatantly hostile interview
raised my eyebrows. He
she's running against the stupidest, most unqualified senator in the
nation, in the weirdest electorate there is. Ask your gotcha question
twice. But why six
What's his beef with Fiorina? (Aha! Why I began rather than ended with
this.) He resents her as an amateur. Politics is for professionals.
He'd rather spar pointlessly with a corrupt pro like Barney Frank than
deal with an intruder
the former CEO of
Hewlett-Packard. She doesn't belong
Regardless of his own probably centrist-right-leaning political views.
Her very appearance in the arena compels him to demonstrate the
difference between an amateur clubfighter and a
professional prizefighter. "I must break you."
This is the thing beyond ideology that animates the anti-Tea Party bias
of the mass media and professional politicians and pundits in both
parties. Professionals -- people who have made a lifelong living at
some discipline, regardless of their actual competence -- don't like
being challenged let alone taken down by
amateurs. They dislike it so much it causes them to behave like
Thanks to Hotair for the following exemplary "fragments":
Harry Reid thinks he can get away with a flat-out
because his opponent is a housewife. Never mind that the lie is
easily exposed and readily available all across the Internet.
(and her liberal colleagues on TV) sees no irony in slamming
Christine O'Donnell because she hasn't accomplished anything and feels
somehow "entitled." (See Mary Katherine Hamm's perfect tweet
thinks female Tea Party types invented the politics of mean. Dana
begs to differ.
Channelling Bill Bradley lecturing Clarence Thomas on what it means to
be black, Charlie
lectures Marco Rubio on what it means to be Hispanic.
Rand Paul's opponent, Jack Conway, decided to attack
Paul's Christian religious faith and family values, because all's fair
in love, etc, and politics.
Except, it backfired
(See video above.)
Which brings us full circle. The founders didn't really mean for
politics to be the province of professionals. What, after all, were the
aristocrats of the British Empire and the courtiers of the European
thrones? They didn't want Talleyrands. They wanted Washingtons,
Jeffersons, and, yes, even low-born Franklins, who took time away from
their real passions -- home, architecture, music, science, business,
etc -- to participate in sustaining the republic.
For an absolute certainty, they never meant to create the government of
the United States as an environment so hostile that mere contact with
the intent to participate or influence it would call down the scathing
fury of the elites like antibodies against disease.
This country does not belong to Maureen Dowd, Chris Wallace, Harry
Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Jerry Brown (son of Pat Brown), and all the
political whores (sorry Gretchen Carlson, Tom Brokaw, and all the
neo-prigs of the left and right -- 'whore' is a word everybody knows and uses and you are its
media definition, or does the rightwing cast of Fox & Friends have something exculpatory to share with the rest of us about their unbridled on-air enthusiasm for lefty 20th Century Fox movies like Avatar and Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2). The country does not belong to the media stars or the professional politicians. It belongs to us.
I was always uncomfortable with senate collegiality: "my good friend
from Montana, my very
friend from West Virginia, with whom I disagree at times...) Yecch. It
led to the moral contradiction of political debates in which candidates
levelled the most horrific charges against one another, only to
conclude with the honorable handshake at the end. But honor is not
accomplished by a handshake. It can be betrayed by one, however. The
handshake conveys acceptance of what has transpired previously.
If you're a narcissistic sociopath like most professional politicians,
it may be acceptable to nod and smile at the vicious personal attacks
opponent in the aspiration for high office. But that carries politics
itself into the realm of the crystal caves. Not a place for ordinary,
decent human beings. Only the Schumers, McCains (and progeny), Cuomos,
Clintons, Kennedys, Pelosis, Wallaces, Dowds, and the legion of
unscrupulous nouveau courtiers (Kerrys and Reids) can breathe that air.
Everyone else is gasping, at a loss. But for the few. I doff my hat to
Rand Paul. You're right. Don't shake hands with a cobra. I bow low
before Sarah Palin. You
spit in the eye of a spitting cobra, but
you have the sense to wear glasses while doing so.
Sorry this has taken so long. My point is infinitesimal (not really).
No matter how much you're tempted to join in the laughter at the
Christine O'Donnells and Sharon Angles, give them credit for their
almost unbelievable courage. Carly Fiorina is almost certainly twice as
shrewd and competent as Chris Wallace. He's a talker and a critic.
She's a doer and a maker. If he can make her
look bad out of spite,
snobbery, irrational hostility, and ruthless exploitation of his media
platform advantage, what chance have the Angles, O'Donnells, and Palins?
Oh. That's right. A good
chance. Sarah Palin isn't afraid of them. God, how terrifying that must
be... to them.
Now. When will smart conservatives start recognizing that Sarah Palin
has the most important credential of all? Bravery. We've asked for
volunteers to invade the crystal caves of Washington politics. Would
you? Would I? No. But there they are, advancing into the heat and peril
of an environment that is unanimously determined to kill them. Could we
at least vote for them, flawed and human and inexperienced as they may
be? I think so.
forgot the "delusional" part. Democrats are now beginning to pretend
that they'll have a 2012 presidential electoral advantage if the
Congress goes Republican. Why? Because Clinton got reelected after the
bloodbath of 1994. Cool strategy eh? Except for one slight fatal
contradiction. Dems today think a Republican congress would allow Obama
to paint Republicans as obstructionist, the reason for no improvement
in things like the economy. Problem is, that's not how Clinton got
reelected. He took credit for
Republican accomplishments like welfare reform, the balanced budget,
and other improvements legislated by that Republican Congress. What
will Obama do with a
Republican Congress that seeks to overturn his policies on taxation,
healthcare, and business regulation? Veto, veto, veto. Who will be the
obstructionist then? In the fourth year of recession, he will suffer a
repudiation worse even than Carter's.
Repudiation? I meant Refu
What happens when an entrenched
authority encounters an, uh, snafu
"I guess maybe you'll have to kill me." [beat]
"It'll hurt if I do."
Purely metaphorical. Like the crystal cave thing. Only cooler.
Only Sarah has hair. You heard it here first.
Friday, October 15, 2010
won't rot, I won't rot. Not this mind and not this heart."
A pause here to pay tribute to the courageous endurance of the Chilean
miners and their triumph over the darkness that could have swallowed
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Right Ad
Why are these women laughing? I want
UP THE PIECES.
I don't pretend to know what is going on with
that alternate universe stuff. I think it has something to do with
To most of us, they seem a few cards shy of a full deck.
So, apparently, the missing cards are located in another universe.
Enough said. I'm sure he'll work it out and return to something like
In the meantime, we have real
to think about. Here's the best ad any campaign has yet run.
Don't know if it will save Christine O'Donnell. (She should have worn
her Palin glasses and something other than black in her 'I'm not a
witch' ad, but maybe the Lord will provide.)
But it's a template for everyone else. Like Nike says, DO IT. Tattoo
the Dems with their confiscatory tax
and fiscal policies. And never ever relent. They're
the issue. Not some normal human being who has the courage to run
without having spent a lifetime faking the perfect life for the benefit
of campaign cameras.
There's also this from Bruce Josten at the Chamber of Commerce. Another
When I knew him, he was a big swimming jock. Now he's a smooth operator
on the political scene. Hope for us all, I guess. Including Christine
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Tired of Prostate
Anybody else getting sick of cancer
First. my apologies for not having posted since Saturday. I've made it
a practice to post on the weekends like clockwork since I never have
any time on weekdays, but Sunday I couldn't bring myself to the task.
Am I the only one who's sick of LFL football, the cheap, violent hits,
the unruly crowds, the rotten officiating, the saturation coverage by
WSPN? And I guess this weekend was the final straw. I don't watch the
Lingerie Football League to see constant reminders of prostate cancer
-- blue chinguards, blue shoes, blue panties. Yeah, I know prostate
cancer kills more people than any other form of cancer, but that's not
why I tune in to sports programs. Is it so wrong to just want to see
football? Why does every sporting event, bake sale, and public
gathering have to confront me with the image of a cancerous
prostate? Tired of big round football player breasts too. Sorry. Just a bugaboo of mine. I get distracted.
Which means I've got some catching up to do. I've been remiss about the
mid-term elections. Yeah, I know it looks like President Mikulski is
pick up even more seats in November. And, with the new laws about blog
commentary, I couldn't say otherwise even if I thought otherwise. She's
a great president.
And her vice-president is great also. Even if she does put her
foot in her mouth from time to time. That's what makes America America,
right? It could be worse... Think Biden. Of course
that couldn't happen. Not
since he got castrated at Guantanomo.
All I'll venture to propose is that there are other candidates on the
various tickets. If they want to arrest me for that, so be it. I've
said nothing about sugar, transfats, alcohol, tobacco, the explosive
eroticism of abortions, or anything
sexual about the sex that hates any mention of sex unless it's about
Lady GaGa. Whom I adore. Appropriately from afar.
And I'm absolutely NOT looking at her
crotch. No ma'am.
Are we clear? Are we cool? Sure we are. I've never answered a single
spam ad for Viagra or Extenz. And I promise I haven't looked up from
the ground since I posted the Lady GaGa picture.. I fervently believe all
noodles should be like cooked
So PLEASE vote come November... please...?
All this before I've brought you up to date on my Hispanic Manhound
just got his Canine Good Citizen Award.
Never said anything sexist or racist
in his life.
Everyone knows I'm Scottish, right? I'm not making any point with that,
you know? I just like plaid. And so does MacBeth. He only looks
frustrated. In actuality he's
completely comfortable with the way of things these days, including his
operation, and he voted for the Mikulski-Boxer ticket three times. See?
I'm sure there was something else I wanted to say. Even if I can't
think of it right now. That's why you all come here so faithfully.
Because I always have something to say about the world and such. Why I
just made the list of Top Ten Tolerable Male Blogs in the latest National Review
survey. Who says it
doesn't pay to be a conservative? You know. The way we all understand
You have no idea how the world is constituted. You probably wouldn't
believe me if I told you there was a world where Americans are still
clinging perilously to freedom, not as a lost and tragic memory, but as
something they still might retain. The temptation of the giant
nurturing tit is seducing them as it has drowned us, but some of them
are fighting against it. On weekdays, at least.
I know that was all out of line. My apologies to President Mikulski and
Vice-President Boxer. But I think you'll find that I haven't actually
broken any of the laws regarding hate speech, or any of the regulations
issuing from the Blogging Responsibility Act as I understand it, or
any other laws governing fit speech by bloggers. I walk the line. And
my attorneys are on
Which is why you're all still here. And why MacBeth is still smiling.
Full disclosure. MacBeth truly love
No accounting for dogs, is there? Why people have spent so much money
for so many years. You'd think they'd get tired. But what do I know?
One more anonymous
dope enjoying his 15 minutes of fame.
AN UNUSUAL WEEKDAY SCOOP
. Another Drudge Report story we don't
understand. Why would anyone care that some old goop emailed a photo of
his privates to a sports reporter? Why should it be a story at all? He didn't even
send his pix to Erin Andrews, the Emmy-Award winning anchor of ratings giant
She's rumored to be the next
Editor-in-Chief of the NYT
She's very smart, in spite of those
unsightly chest bumps.
think it was
inappropriate for President Mikulski to comment on the case. The
President of the United States should not be calling for the death
penalty for some anonymous pervert. Think about it. If it should come
to a trial, how could you even assemble an unbiased jury? Look at the
picture. He does
The tears are real. Life without parole seems more than sufficient.
But, then, we're edgy. Why we're in the Top Ten. Edgy and "highly
intellectual for a male site" as reviewed by InstaQueen.com.
Just saying. Thoughtful. Unlike Private Parts Boy above. (See Brizoni's
Sorry for the unsually long post. Sometimes, even men have a lot to
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