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February 7, 2013 - January 31, 2013

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

MICE & RATS ARE ANNOYING. Yeah, I get tired enough to quit. Like when I get this kind of comment:

Forgive the impertinence, and my chronology might be a bit off, but were you in the correct age range for Vietnam? I know, I know. The answer is buried in the trackbacks and anathema sit upon my head for not checking. S-2 deferment, I'm thinking.

On a side note, the great author and WW2 Veteran Paul Fussell died on May 23rd. R.I.P.

God bless those Jews by the way; they only make up 2/10ths of 1% of the American Military, but man do they make some swinging music.

Quick answers about my experience:


Here's more about U.S. Military demographics.

Enough figures in there to make any argument you want to about anyone. Including the fact that white first-string football players from Cincinnati join the military, uh, almost never. Yeah, we could talk nths of one percent for hale and hearty white boys, too, Joe.

But it's important to beat up on the Jews, isn't it, Joe? They're so awful. They have the unconscionable nerve to be smarter, better educated, and more accomplished than you. I've compiled some statistics, so I'm going to cite them even though they mean nothing. Twelve Jews in the NFL, out of 1500 players. Two Jews in the NBA, out of 500 (And who hasn't seen the little balding Jew who's obsessed with the NBA and spends all his time organizing pickup games at the YMHA? Please.) Do the math. Nearly six million Jews in the U.S., seven million in Israel, and every adolescent Jew in Israel is required to provide military service. So Jews are cowards? Hardly. U.S. Jews are cowards? Not so fast. Maybe they're the ones who have something else to do.

I know what that something else is. Sorry to burst anybody's tribal bubble. But the good news is that American exceptionalism isn't a highbrow conceptual myth. It's the reality that's going to save our fucking bacon.

I've written about this before. But you never understood it as anything but travel advice. Europeans hate each other. Hate everything about each other. Cars, faces, languages, histories, personalities. Why the European Union was always doomed. Why the whole world is doomed. Every African country hates every other. Every South-American nation hates every other because everyone's a native and a Spaniard or a Portuguese, and who should we kill(?), although be damned sure we'll kill somebody and everybody in perpetuity. Every Asian nation hates every other, and it's racial. Japanese hate Korean and Chinese and  Indochinese, and every other Asian race hates the Japanese because they're rich, can grow bushy beards, and are almost as cruel as Koreans. And absolutely everybody everywhere hates the Indians. They smell worse than everybody but Arabs, they both have totally fucked religions, and the way they are about about money makes Jews look generous. How bad can it get?

Or how good can it get get? The multicultural delusion. Let's take a subset. The United Kingdom plus free Ireland. They've all been hating each other for centuries. Who's they? England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Northern Ireland, plus Isle of Man and other bullshit domains like, say, the half a billion people of India till 1949.

The whole U.K. is smaller than California. Immaterial. What's material is that the U.S. constitution, rule of law, and/or our melting pot culture -- whatever you credit given your stupid misunderstandings of history and political philosophy -- have resulted in a place where no single tribe gets to rule. That's the exception. Everywhere else one tribe does ultimately rule. What they're duelling about in the E.U. right now. The French? The  Germans? The Flems? The Brits? Oh, that's right. The same people who always did run the show after the Golden Age of Colonial Imperialism none of the losers of that age will ever EVER forget.

All doomed. Awful. End of human race.

Shit. Then there's America. Where people still hate each other for the tiniest differences, but not really so much. Where the really evil, soul-destroying economic system called capitalism encourages (gasp) people to work with another even if they don't go to each other's weddings. And Irish cops go to Greek diners and Italians run as many restaurants and strip bars as they do major corporations, and women of every oppressed ethnicity (all) become media network tycoons, and Jews -- run out of every nation on earth -- become the fathers of what every nation calls the best movies, music, and concert entertainment on earth, and a black race given respect nowhere else drives three successive waves of music across the whole fucking benighted planet, not to mention a sport (thankfully!) better than, uh, soccer.

Know what? I really am tired. I have prep-school and Ivy League friends who sneer at American exceptionalism. I have gun-toting righty friends who think that what is uniquely American cannot possibly survive for another season because of them. Or us.

I only keep coming back because I know better.The American Jews are here -- no conspiracy, just extremism being its own reward -- because they feel that this melting pot really is unique in human history. All the tribes -- meaning every other so-called nation in history -- are reduced to jokes in the great American pot. Maybe they do want to run the pot and set its boiling point, but God has punchlines of his own. He can chasten his Chosen. No, you can't all go to Harvard. Quotas work both ways. Learn more about your precious law. Really bad people can and will kill you. Sorry. Take it from me, God. I have said this. And if you forget your roots and where and what you came from, Persia can ABSOLUTELY fucking kill you all.

But that's why the Jews in America can also learn a lesson, that they have the rest of us -- somebody please fill in all the hundred immigrant nationalities I can't think of right now -- to prove the biggest American point of all. STOP looking for the smartest guy in the room. uh, he ain't what the doctor ordered. WE're the smartest guy in the room, maybe the world, and some of us live in trailer parks. Sorry to break it to you. Sholom

l

Friday, May 25, 2012

DOWNTURNED MOUTH. I'm thinking about a lot of things this weekend. I'm thinking people are tired of war and they want it all to be over. If only it were that simple. Two more wars we're not allowed to win because the president would rather not. I'm thinking of a commander-in-chief who has said in the last week or so that American troops are "fighting on my behalf," which sickens me. They are fighting for us and the ideas that unite us. Enough said. (Although I will provide a relevant link to a president who knew better.)

Memorial Day is the official beginning of summer, regardless of what the calendar says. We do cookouts, picnics, fun stuff. Asking people to think of the battlefield dead and cemeteries laid out in neat rows of headstones and flags is perhaps too much to ask. Or if not too much to ask, too much to expect. So I'm taking a different tack this year. I'm asking you to think not of cemeteries but of life. I have a particular touchstone in mind -- Aaron Copland. He's regarded as the father of archetypally American classical music, although George Gershwin should get equal laurels in this regard. Jews both of them. Which I mention only because I'm also thinking in this year of all years how close our country is coming to abandoning a sacred trust -- black muslims and Paulistas may now reach across the pews to shake hands and wish each other peace -- that maybe only the veterans among us truly understand because the words involved are "sacred" and "trust." Unless most of the rest of us Americans also know and are just pretending that it's okay to pay no attention while the storm clouds gather over Israel and our government shames us daily even as our most privileged universities begin to resemble the S.S.

But forget all that for now. We have burgers to barbecue and softball games to play. That's what I'm asking us all to think of this weekend. The life that slain soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines never got to live because they died for a conception of freedom we seem increasingly anxious to surrender for government handouts. Sorry. I shouldn't be political on this solemn occasion. Forget politics. Here's what I'm thinking, rendered in music:


Copland was born in Brooklyn. Unlike many classical musicians he had that elusive "common touch." His music sounds distinctly American. Appalachian Spring. Billy the Kid. Rodeo. And a short piece I'd like you all to keep hearing in your heads all weekend. Fanfare for the Common Man.


Use it as your soundtrack when you fire up the grill. And think of all the other common men who aren't firing up the grill this weekend. Because they gave their lives so you could.

No, it's not a bummer. It's what they chose as a fair risk to take. Just be grateful. And add an extra smile to the wife and kids for them. Because whatever ticks you off this weekend wouldn't bother them at all. They'd much rather be here than not.

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