Friday, March 23, 2007

More Boortz Booltzit

He better hope there's no Jaguar God. But we kind of do.

REDUXITUDE. We've had multiple previous reasons for calling out Neal Boortz for his boor(tz)ishness. Yesterday, no doubt, he thought he was just being wickedly provocative and generating a flood of amusing phone call-ins with this little gem:


Why all the fuss? Am I not correct in that all of the pet fatalities, save one, were to cats?

This is the kind of remark he employs to generate a tide of illiterate email condemnations, which enable him to ridicule the ignorance, irrationality, and spelling idiosyncracies of his most illiterate listeners. When he reprints negative emails, he never includes any that employ logic or decent grammar. In other words, his native mode is to act like a bully. Which is precisely the mentality he is revealing here without being aware of it.

I know what his argument would be. Cats are never going to understand that he's insulted them, and so the invective he receives from cat fanciers is automatically irrelevant and laughable.

He's full of it. He hasn't the wit or consciousness to envision the innumerable (other) Boors in pickup trucks and Lincoln Towncars who go out of their way to run over cats on the roadways. There is some vestige of crude adolescent macho, of which he himself is an example, that thinks it manly to despise, deride, and mistreat cats. It's just a joke. Even when the result is a beloved family pet lying on the road with every bone in its body crushed. Ha ha. At present, there are viral videos celebrating the torture and death of cats orchestrated by teenage boys who are simply younger versions of Boortz himself. What the Big Boor hasn't bothered to think about is the example he sets for crackers younger than himself for good or ill. If he thinks killing cats is funny... or if he thinks killing cats is, maybe, not funny... A huge talk radio audience does bring with it some responsibility beyond hawking your own books and inciting furious commentary.

If you care about cats, email this post to Boortz. He'll never print it or respond to it. But let him know that some of us have his number. A joke like this is harmful, whether he deigns to acknowledge it or not. If he hears it enough, though, he may forgo such jokes in the future. If he's more than a superannuated teenage thug. That's the best we can hope for.

Unless it turns out that there really is a Jaguar God such as the Mayans had. Wouldn't that be interesting?

POSTSCRIPT. Speaking of Mayans.... and lunatic adolescent adults... what was Mel Gibson drinking thinking the other night? Could he possibly be so naive as to believe that Mayan descendants aren't as post-modern as other descendants of primitive cultures? Sure, the Mayans were a bloody and bloodthirsty gang of killers. So were their south-of-the-border colleagues the Incas and Aztecs. And their north-of-the-border cousins the (newly) sainted American Indians. And every other empire in history ruled by a royal bloodline and vassal "nobles" or priests. You're just not allowed to say it anymore. It hurts their precious feelings. And when one of their politically correct victimologists stands up to denounce you for mentioning it, you have no right whatsoever to tell her to "F*** off!"

Sheesh. How dumb can you get in this day and age? Go to jail, Mel. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go and do not collect $200. Your whole image makeover has to start again at square one. Maybe if you announced you were going into rehab...?

POSTSCRIPT 2. Izzie is pissed.

The Jaguar Goddess, 2007

Nobody with half a brain wants that. But who can speak for Boortz? Well, who cares?

UPDATE 3/27/07. A couple of great laughs from Boortz today. Suddenly, for some reason, he's trying to take credit for his humane feelings about animals. Turns out he can't stand to watch big animals preying on little animals on the new documentary Planet Earth. The camera's too close to the action perhaps? Maybe if predation could be accomplished more remotely -- by poison or off-road tires -- he'd feel different. What a self-important, superficial bozo.

EXTRA CREDIT for InstaPunk readers who can spot the howler at the end of this typically learned Boortzian paragraph about reparations:

But why stop with an apology for slavery? What about the slaughter of the Native Americans? Obviously they deserve some money for their pain and suffering. And if we're talking about reparations, the biggest piggy bank of all has to be the British government. They still haven't paid for all the havoc they caused in the Revolutionary War. And what about Aaron Burr's relatives? Alexander Hamilton owes them some money.

Don't think so, Neal.

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