Thursday, April 26, 2007


She's in a deep dark place and needs our help.

THE O'REILLY FACTOR. The lure of celebrity is a powerful thing. Once you get the taste, it's apparently impossible not to want more. Famous people invite you places, give you opportunities to do things you never dreamed you were good at, and eventually you start believing you're good at all kinds of things, including things you should absolutely stay away from. That's when your friends should have the courage to step up and say, "Stop it! At once!"

We don't blame Michelle Malkin for catching the celebrity bug. She's hardworking, energetic, dedicated, and nice looking. Her blog is justifiably popular because it's as fearless as she is and updated at an almost frightening pace every day. She's become a regular guest on Fox News and even a sometime guest host for that ultimate glory-seeking publicity hound Bill O'Reilly. Her year-old multimedia blog HotAir has become brazen enough to employ the O'Reillyian tactic of self-promoting a FNC television gig for its own principal. So far so good. Nothing wrong with being ambitious and self-confident.

But recent events are a cause for grave concern. Especially because it's Michelle Malkin we're talking about here, who has been pitiless in her contempt for Hollywood celebrities who think their popularity as entertainers also means they are world-class intellectuals who should lecture the rest of us about politics, values, and lifestyle. One of Michelle's own colleagues, Laura Ingraham, has written a book about such celebrities called "Shut Up and Sing." That's exactly opposite the advice Michelle Malkin needs to hear from the rest of us as loudly and insistently as necessary.

First, there was this very odd bit of performance art from HotAir the other day:

Frankly, this struck us as an act of masochism, almost of wanton self-destruction. We've empathized over the years with the pain La Malkin has experienced from the filthy imprecations of the soul-damaged denizens of the left. Why on earth would she voluntarily open herself up to this kind of attack? (and needless to say, this is the cleanest part...)

And what's a 40-year-old woman doing with a schoolgirl outfit just lying around the house, anyhow? Or is that something special you got after the twins were born when you found Jesse's browser history pointing to a whole slew of porn websites?

No matter, regardless of where that outfit came from, I think that this is as good a time as any to tell you this, honey. Displays like this are not going to make people take you any more seriously. In fact, it only reinforces our contention that you are basically developmentally frozen at about an eighth grade level. Did something really unspeakably awful happen to you when you were 13? Is that what retarded your emotional and cognitive development?

Why set yourself up for such derision and abuse? Why? It makes no sense. Yes, you could argue that it's a one-time aberration. Everyone makes mistakes. Except for today's HotAir entry. Which begins to seem like a pattern.

It's true La Malkin went to Oberlin College, where most everyone has musical talent. Obviously, her talent in this respect consists of playing the piano. It's not singing. IT'S NOT SINGING.

The people closest to her need to take her in hand. She has a problem. It's time for an intervention. You can't be continually dancing on the heads of Hollywood performers for talking about politics if you're a political writer whose secret ambition is to be a performer yourself. It's the kind of miscue that gets you laughed at. A lot.

Michelle. Please. STOP singing and dancing... and do the O'Reilly thing you were born to do. Okay?

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