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Tuesday, May 25, 2004
The Wages of Liberalism
Serving your country party takes a toll
Serving your country party takes a toll
LEADERSHIP. It's
hard to know how to respond to Ted Kennedy. The temptation is to laugh
bitterly until the bad taste in your mouth makes you feel a little sick
at your stomach. On the other hand, there's clearly still something
dangerous about a man who evokes such fawning
adulation from the objective minions of the media. And since --
hard as it is to believe -- he is
a United States Senator, his penchant for blubbering treason
while American troops are in the field is concerning. Yet any attempt
to analyze his public pronouncements results in dizziness of the kind
you experience when your foot tries to land on a step that isn't there.
It's impossible to come to grips with a rationale, a philosophy, or a
standard of basic decency that just doesn't exist. Teddy says what he
says. Who can know what he means by it? Why bother? The moralist who
seeks to shame a billygoat is only making a fool of himself. Gigantic
as he has become, there isn't much to
Ted Kennedy. Appetites. Bluster. Vindictiveness. A few million
acquiescent sheep in his home state. And the eternal blind eye of the
mainstream media. Fulminating is pointless, which means that
laughter is probably the best of a poor lot of responses. Herewith our
entry from Shuteye Nation 2000, where all the names have been changed
in order to fool no one.
Teddy
Schwartzenkennedy*. U.S. Senator from Machusetts
and, formerly, the stupidest member of Ameria's most famous political
family. Like everybody else in the
family, he thought he was supposed to be Presdent of the United State,
but he postponed doing it for awhile because he didn't want to get shot
while he was still young enough to drink and have sex
with anything in a skirt. By the time he decided to go ahead and be
Presdent,
the rules had changed and it wasn't enough to just be a
Schwartzenkennedy—you
also had to get the mass media's
permission to run by convincing them you had a vision or something.
What
Teddy had was double vision, which didn't qualify at the time, and so
he
went back to drinking and screwing until he weighed four hundred pounds
and girls started getting killed having sex with him... unless that was
earlier in his career. Anyway, somebody made him stop drinking and
screwing,
and he turned over a new leaf by getting married and losing five
pounds.
Eventually he got so dignified that he didn't have a lot to say about
the
sex scandal and the perjury
and the rest of it. But it's probably safe to assume he was more
tolerant
of the Presdent's private life
than some of his senate colleagues.
*Originally, the 'schwartzen,' was silent, but it's gotten consistently louder over the years, until by now it's practically deafening.
Teddy still likes to go swimming, though. What a rack!
And we didn't mention Mary Jo Kopechne once. Oops.
Teddy
Schwartzenkennedy*. U.S. Senator from Machusetts
and, formerly, the stupidest member of Ameria's most famous political
family. Like everybody else in the
family, he thought he was supposed to be Presdent of the United State,
but he postponed doing it for awhile because he didn't want to get shot
while he was still young enough to drink and have sex
with anything in a skirt. By the time he decided to go ahead and be
Presdent,
the rules had changed and it wasn't enough to just be a
Schwartzenkennedy—you
also had to get the mass media's
permission to run by convincing them you had a vision or something.
What
Teddy had was double vision, which didn't qualify at the time, and so
he
went back to drinking and screwing until he weighed four hundred pounds
and girls started getting killed having sex with him... unless that was
earlier in his career. Anyway, somebody made him stop drinking and
screwing,
and he turned over a new leaf by getting married and losing five
pounds.
Eventually he got so dignified that he didn't have a lot to say about
the
sex scandal and the perjury
and the rest of it. But it's probably safe to assume he was more
tolerant
of the Presdent's private life
than some of his senate colleagues.*Originally, the 'schwartzen,' was silent, but it's gotten consistently louder over the years, until by now it's practically deafening.
Teddy still likes to go swimming, though. What a rack!
And we didn't mention Mary Jo Kopechne once. Oops.
posted at
9:22 am by
RFLaird
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