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Tuesday, June 05, 2007
REALLY -- PSAYINGS.5A.9 LocoPunk got us thinking yesterday. While we were all writing email to our Senators protesting the coming Z-Visa there was some landscaping being done here in the Southland by people that don't look all that legal -- so, some of us felt conflicted.
But it is time to embrace the future. And -- we have a few ideas.
Once they're available, everyone should get at least one Z-Visa. Ideally, we think that you should get five. We're not sure that you'll want to go down to a clinic, present your Z-Visa, and get medical services, but we're are sure you'll like this idea.
First, give your name a bit of a Spanish flair. For instance, Joseph Mannix could become Jose Manuel. Wear a big straw hat. Put on a fake mustache. Have fun. Be creative. Then, go get a social security number. Now, you are all set. Go get four more for expanded fun and profit. [Note: If it needs to be said -- do not use your real address.]
What you do now is pay Jose out of your business. If you don't have one, start one. Now Jose is going to want a lot of money, so pay him often and mightily. This will produce a loss in your business, or at least reduce the profit of your business thus reducing your income tax bill -- Federal and State in most cases. Go to the bank and cash Jose's checks. Take the money home and store appropriately.
Then, after a year or so, stop paying Jose and go onto the next of your Z-Visas. Repeat. For the next five to seven years you can effectively store up quite a collection of non-sequential, small denomination versions of U.S. currency. The rest is up to you.
If you could do this with $150,000 per year, you would save approximately $60,000 in income taxes. Over five years, that's $300,000.
If anyone comes looking for Jose or Rodrigo or whomever, you simply show them the dutifully kept copies of thier Z-Visas and any other documentation and say, "I haven't seen [insert Spanish name here] for a long time. He did some work for us some time ago, but I haven't seen him lately." Seem like you are recalling a distant relative or former spouse. Work on the line in a mirror. You'll have at least two or three years to practice.
Some of you are saying, "But we don't have a couple of hundred grand to run through a Z-Visa." Not to worry. Just get your Z-Visas and sell your services. You're in the business of returning tax free cash to businesses or individuals who require your service. How about 15 percent? That seems fair. Simply follow the above example. You could use all your Z-Visas in the same year as part of this service. And, you won't even have to talk to any governmental tax collecting personnel. Return the cash to the payor less your fee and there you go. Everybody wins.
Of course, you might not even want to get your hands dirty at all. Just go get the Z-Visas anyway and sell them to the highest bidder. There will be enterprising groups all over the country -- especially in the Southland -- that will gladly pay you for your Z-Visas to be used in the ways identified above and other ways yet to be imagined. Feel free to leave any of your suggestions in the comments section. We're all ears.
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