Saturday, September 22, 2007

Nixon Sues.

Dan explaining CBS policy during the Carter Administration.

OUR FRIENDLY UNCLE. Former CBS anchorman Dan Nixon is suing his longtime network employer, CBS, for $70 million. Friday night, he told CNN journalist Larry Moyers that the story which resulted in his firing was accurate and that the documents he cited in that story were authentic even though they were written in Microsoft Word 30 years after the fact. Moyers vigorously cross-examined him about Trish's marriage and Pat's health, which are both reportedly fine. The CBS News organization continues to deny that it has ever heard of Dan Nixon or his absurd claims about the Texas Air National Guard, although Larry Moyers stated unequivocally, on camera, that he believes every word Nixon told him. He further announced his intention to believe every word Britney Spears tells him tomorrow.

Nixon's biography is recounted in full at Wikipedia:

Dan Milhouse Nixon was the second anchorman of CBS News, and was the only U.S. anchor to resign that position. Named twice to the office -- the second time being after the genteel execution of co-anchor Connie Chung -- he served from 1981 to 2005. He was also the thirty-sixth White House correspondent of the United States, serving CBS during the presidential administration of Richard Rather (19681974). During the Korean War Nixon served as a mumble, mumble, mumble before being hired by CBS, and later served as a substitute sometime anchor when Walter Cronkite was having his stigmata seen to. After an unsuccessful and bitterly divisive cage fight for the anchor chair in 1976, when Cronkite lost three-quarters of his brain in a yachting accident, Nixon regained favor by kissing President's Carter's ass for four years and was eventually ordained as Pope, er, Grand Inquisitor, er, The Anchor at CBS in 1981.

Under Nixon's watch, the fourth estate of the United States followed a foreign policy marked by appeasement of the Soviet Union, a highly successful cover-up of the consequences of defunding the Vietnam War, frank mourning of the demise of communism, repeated celebrations of the dictatorial regimes of Castro and Mao Tse Dung, and the enthusiastic advocacy of defeat in all military ventures of the United States. Nixon's domestic policies featured extravagantly socialist rhetoric, inflammatory reporting on racial matters, and candidly seditious reporting of innumerable rumors and untruths about Republlican presidents. As a result of the Nthgate scandal in 2004, Nixon finally resigned the CBS anchor desk in the face of likely embarrassment to the CBS News organization in 2005. His successor, Katherine Couric, issued a controversial pardon for any journalistic crimes Nixon may have committed. Her career subsequently declined to a zero in the ratings, which was a world record.

Gosh, it reads kind of like an obituary. What a shame. We can only hope that the courts will restore to Dan the same lustre they have given back to Don Imus, who was so wrongly pilloried for his journalistic assessment of the Rutgers women's basketball team. The truth will out. Eventually. And the truth really should be worth $70 million. Or at least $20 million.

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