Friday, October 05, 2007

Whoa, Peggy.

DESIRE. When you make a habit of writing the purplest of prose, there's always a danger of getting carried away. And now that Peggy Noonan has embarked on the midlife crisis that compels her to trash Republicans right and left, she's started displaying a tendency to get a little too up close and personal, if you know what I mean. Like this passage in her current column:

Barack Obama has a great thinking look. I mean the look he gets on his face when he's thinking...  I mean the look he gets in an interview or conversation when he's listening and not conscious of his expression. It's a very present look. He seems more in the moment than handling the moment. I've noticed this the past few months, since he entered the national stage. I wonder if I'm watching him more closely than his fellow Democrats are.... I've started to lean forward a little when he talks.

Please spare us the heavy breathing, Peggy. Frankly, thinking is one thing Barack Obama appears to have given up for Lent, or the election cycle, or the duration. If you really get off on watching men think, rent a movie starring Jimmy Stewart or Denzel Washington. Believe me, they're far better at it than Obama is. And if you don't believe me, maybe you'll believe Jules Crittenden, who actually had the intestinal fortitutude to listen to Obama's entire speech about foreign policy at DePaul University. You can read his complete assessment here, but the following excerpt is indicative:

I’ve taken some small liberties to abbreviate Obama’s bloviations at this point, but stayed true to the spirit of his speech:

Blah blah blah, no WMD. Blah blah blah, conventional thinking. Blah blah blah, I’ll pull out, I promise. Blah blah blah, I’ll talk to crazy dictators. Blah blah blah …

Good lord, he isn’t stopping.  He’d be better than everyone else. He gets it like no one else. He ran around barefoot in Indonesian villages.  Hey, me too.  Maybe I should be president. And this part is good:

I will always tell the American people the truth. I will always tell you where I stand.

Clock springs are flying out of the bullshitometer!

Sigh. I'd really appreciate it if someone would explain the appeal of this drab, ordinary man. He's never uttered a word that isn't a tired cliche and yet millions profess to be experiencing a great excitement about his candidacy. Why? WHY?

Is it a chick thing? A manifestation of the 'geeks are sexy' fad? I mean, ask any guy. Any guy. In times past, Obama would have been the guy in the cheesy nylon shirt with a slide rule holstered on his hip. The one with the dumb shoes. The one who laughed at the stupidest jokes. The one who stood too close to you because he just didn't know any better. The one who couldn't get laid to save his life. And now he's a sex symbol for panting right-wing columnists?

When did the world turn upside down and inside out?

Don't answer that. Please.

Just tiptoe softly away and leave me alone for a bit.

Thank you.

GOOD NEWS WE REALLY NEEDED. Wuzzadem is back. Wuzzadem is back! Maybe there's hope for us after all...

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