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Monday, June 23, 2008
Update:
Correction &
Elaboration
The
Hugh Douglas Files: Only NFL and NBA players are athletes. Right.
Driving these things is exhausting, dangerous, and, yes, an athletic feat.
Driving these things is exhausting, dangerous, and, yes, an athletic feat.
OVERSTATING THE CASE. Okay. I made a joke yesterday about Formula 1. I was going for a laugh. Truth is, I have always been mesmerized by Formula 1. They're the ultimate competitors in all of human sport. As a boy, I had the privilege of watching Mark Donohue when he was still an amateur. He drove an Elva numbered "000," and in a 20 lap race on an incredibly narrow 1.2 mile sports car track he lapped everybody. Everybody. He was also a Brown-educated engineer, which to the Hugh Douglases of this world probably means that he simply outsmarted the competition with a lot of tech trickery and hand skills. But nothing that required the talents of an athlete. I was a fan of Mark Donohue. I was in awe of Jimmy Clark and Jackie Stewart. Two of the three died in cars. It doesn't get much more serious than that.
It's a funny thing. InstaPunk (The Boss) has been having his fun with atheists of late, sending them into predictable spins of illogical, emotional self immolation. But it takes a blizzard of words and days of osmosis for him to do his damage to the callow pretenders who think their Internet experience qualifies them as philosophers. The amazing thing about cars is that they can make you confront God in an a split second. I literally could not list every internal combustion engine powered vehicle I have driven (or ridden) at one time or another -- Dodge PowerWagons, John Deere tractors, Triumphs, Nortons, Harleys, BSAs, Jags (a bunch), Bugattis, Cobras, Chrysler 440s, Trans Ams, ChrisCrafts, 60 mph speedboats, airboats -- and I have streaked across the land and watery expanses of the rural southern counties of my state at speeds which, at my present age, make me blush. In those mad rushes I have had occasional brushes with the prospect of sudden death, but there was only one experience that made me appreciate the true stature of professional race car drivers.
There used to be a franchise called Malibu Grand Prix. You piad your money for five or ten laps on a tiny but demonically intricate course behind the wheel of an open-wheeled, under-powered race car for the privilege of having your lap times displayed to everyone as you drove. Initially, it was a blast. Those of us who knew something about driving turned in stunning lap times that impressed our girlfriends and even the girlfriends of other less fortunate drivers. But after the third lap there is a fourth, and a fifth, and a sixth, and your timing starts to stutter, and your body and brain grow weary, and what was once exuberant fun becomes work. Labor. Then you begin making mistakes. You're actually out of breath. The legs you never gave any thought to at all are suddenly leaden, slow to do their automatic business with the pedals. Your arms, hands, whatever, aren't quick enough with the steering wheel. And here you are -- a guy who risks his life successfully every damn day on real world roads at much higher speeds than this -- gradually losing control of a vehicle on a f___ng carnival ride.
I'm not up to discussing philosophy at the level InstaPunk has set. But here's what I know. There are flashes, somewhere between the crises you create for yourself at free high speed and the exhaustion of trying to do it in a disciplined state of endurance, that put you face to face with death, eternity, and your own shortcomings. I'm thinking the atheists who are so damn sure InstaPunk is a fool haven't experienced moments like this.
Is that the 'foxhole' argument? Maybe it is. I don't know. I really don't care. I'd settle for Hugh Douglas watching the YouTube video up top and then reassessing his bullshit position that race car drivers aren't athletes. Of course, he'd probably be willing to make an exception for Lewis Hamilton, once he finds out who he is. Any progess is still progress after all. Hugh concedes that Tiger Woods is an athlete, though all other golfers aren't. And when he looks into it, Lewis Hamilton might be an athlete, too, though all other race car drivers obviously aren't. We're waiting for the next step of your enlightenment, Hugh.
