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Saturday, June 28, 2008
Oh Canada.
Gosh. Isn't she just so utterly down
home completely sexless? Eh?
MAPLE STUFF. So we've taken some heat from the Great White North in the past. For dissing Canada. But we're not going to be apologetic anymore. Not only are they America Lite, they're also the land of Human Rights Commissions and political correctness gone stone damn crazy. There's really no need to be polite to them from now on. Neil Young, Don Henley, stop lecturing us about what it means to be free. We're just better than you are.
Especially those of us who are of Scottish descent. You see, being Americans, we can claim anyone we want as Americans, including people who have only made most of their money performing for Americans. Canadians, on the other hand, are more or less stuck with promoting Canadian-born mediocrities as the best they have to offer. Exhibit A: the Celine Dion cover above of an AC/DC song. Why would a Canadian do that? There's no point. And on top of it, why would you try to transform a pure, rutting male rock and roll storm into a quasi-Lesbian anthem? Unless you were all, always, nothing but a gang of wankers. You tell me.
Here's a video version of the real thing.
And here's a live version. In Toronto.
They're both better than the Canuck-Vegas version up top. Not even a Canadian will have the nerve to dispute that.
Here's the truth. You came to the freedom game way late. And now you're done. Fried. Finished. Caput. It's time for you to go crawling back to the emasculated UK and beg for admission to the European Democratic Peoples' Republic of Muhammed.
Done witcha.
