Archives
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Why InstaPunk Isn't Popular:
Lunkhead
Conservatives
Ed Morrissey of
Hotair.com
YEAH.
WE'RE ON RECORD, ALREADY. You got to go along to get along, right?
Can't do it. Most of
the conservative bloggers are Sean Hannity on a CRT -- repetitive,
dogmatic, shallow, only marginally literate, and oh-so-rarely
insightful.We've been burned enough here by superstar "conservative" blogs that we mostly leave them alone. We no longer point out that Ace of Spades is a strictly commercial site knocking sadly at the door of TV punditry with no hope that the door will ever open to an indifferent writer who can't even be bothered to proofread his headlines. We don't aim an accusing finger at Hugh Hewitt's site, which gambled the whole pile on being an official mouthpiece of the Mitt Romney campaign -- and lost, with a consequent crash of his credibility on just about everything. We don't do anything to document the pitiful truth that InstaPundit is a much more energetic version of Mort Kondracke with even nerdier hobbies (sci fi novels, digital photography, and a lawyerly crush on Ann Althouse). We don't make an issue of the fact that Michelle Malkin's site consists of a series of "look at me" setups for her various beaming appearances on Fox News.
And we tried to give a pass to Ed Morrissey, who apparently needed the job Michelle Malkin gave him to make Hotair.com a graphic-intensive counterpart to the Huffington Post. Or something. Ed's a veteran, he's conversant with spell-check software, and his arguments are usually slightly better than his sentence structure. Leave him alone, we thought.
Not that we aren't heartily sick of of his hammer-it-into-the-ground "The Obligatory Post About..." everything current in the news. If you're that hard up for content, admit it. (OR HERE'S AN IDEA -- DON'T POST, ASSHOLE.) Don't pretend that because you're writing piffle about all the biggest topics of the moment, you're only doing it because we righty rubes insist on it. Even Ace's standard punchline ("Terrorists killed by Big Mac Flatulence and U.S. Firepower, but Mostly U.S. Firepower..." is better than that.
But I just stopped cutting Ed a break. It happened with his "obligatory" post ridiculing Edgar Mitchell for his claim that the U.S. government has been covering up the existence of aliens for 60 years. Ed said:
Can we trust a man who claims his
cancer was cured by remote healing and admits to having conducted ESP
experiments while on the moon? Gut answer: No. Revised answer upon
further reflection: No — but I’ve never been more jacked for that “X
Files” movie!
ESP experiments on the moon?! Shouldn't that be actionable, Ed? In court, I mean? Cured of cancer... ? I can see how it would be better if he died of cancer like everyone else, but...
Ed? Shut the fuck up. Edgar Mitchell walked on the moon. You of all people should know that's an accomplishment people earn by a lifetime of hard work, ability, rational excellence, extraordinary obedience to duty and military protocol, and character.Character. As in telling the truth when you're too old to care about your career.
I am really really really tired of people who dismiss the communications of those who are at last too old to be scared by institutional threats of various kinds. Oh. He's 77? Must be senile. And he was kind of squiffy even when he was doing things you and I could never possibly hope to qualify to do, let alone have the balls-to-the-wall courage to do.
Sorry, Mr. Ed. If Edgar Mitchell says there's been a cover-up, I'm interested. Your poorly written and tepidly argued dismissals don't mean a damn thing to me. You see, I've actually known a couple of 77-year-old men who were smarter than you've ever been on your best day and in full possession of their marbles till the day they died. Hell. A couple of them were even half as smart as I am.
A closing question. Ed. If someone had briefed you that incredibly advanced aliens were already here, just how strange would it be to pursue the possibility of remote healing and ESP? I mean, wouldn't such knowledge change your worldview a little bit?
Uh. Actually, I suppose it wouldn't. Ed. But maybe you should do a litle more research before you spout your weak-stream sarcasm at an old man who was braver and more dedicated to his country than even most recipients of the Congressional Medal of Honor.
P.S. This can't be registered as a comment at Hotair.com, because as with MichelleMalkin.com, the privilege of commenting is only open for sign-up on alternate blue moons in the seventh house, when Jupiter is voting straight Republican on a Thursday. For some reason, we haven't been accorded this honor, even when the stars are properly aligned for our application. Any of you who enjoy this unique privilege, feel free to share it with Ed and her boss, Michelle Malkin.
