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Thursday, March 12, 2009

What to Do:
Questions for Your
"Liberal" Friends




AS LOCAL AS IT GETS. It's simple, really. Everything the liberals want to do under Obama's leadership will cost us money, liberty, quality of life, and even length of life. What you want to know about them is this:

Just How Much Do You Want to Be Punished?

Preamble: We accept that you want the greatest good for the greatest number and that you believe in tolerance, social justice, equality of outcomes, saving the planet, world peace, and every possible group-defined human right except the right to life when it conflicts with the right to choose abortion. We also understand that in exchange for the elevation of these group-defined rights, you are willing to cede certain individual rights to government regulatory entities. What we want to determine is just how much you personally are prepared to give up for the government-administered utopia you believe in so fervently. For each of the following questions, answer "yes" or "no."

1. In order to effect economic equality consistent with my liberal principles, I personally am prepared to:

a. Give up the idea that I will ever be rich beyond my wildest dreams, no matter how talented I am.

b. Give up the idea that my children will ever be rich beyond their wildest dreams, no matter how talented they are.

c. Give up the idea that my children will be able to attain the same level of income I have achieved.

d. Submit myself and my family to government redistributions of income and assets in compensation for inequities that may have been caused (or accepted) by my father, grandfather, or great grandfather.

e. Accept that my children and theirs -- regardless of individual talent or merit -- will live in a state of economic equality that would today be considered, at best, paycheck to paycheck and, at worst, poverty akin to what you find in the egalitarian nation of Cuba.

f.  Feel proud of the fact that I have made this decision about what they deserve and can have for them, even though I have never experienced the privation I'm willing to consign them to, in advance of their ability to choose.

2. In order to achieve the ideal of absolute tolerance across all racial, religious, gender, and cultural lines, I personally am prepared to:

a. Give up some measure of my individual right to "freedom of expression" under the First Amendment to make sure that everyone else is free from the possibility of being offended by bigoted or other expressions they deem offensive.

b. Accept that my children will be permanently disadvantaged in their pursuit of educational and career opportunities by virtue of the fact that I and my forebears did not suffer the same kinds of discrimination experienced by the forebears of other racial, religious, sexual, and ethnic groups.

c. Accept that whatever my values are, the government has a superseding right and power to instill group consensus values in my children beginning as early as pre-school and to empower my children to reject my values whenever they conflict with the prevailing consensus.
 
d. Submit myself and my family to criminal legal liability for the possibly prejudiced thoughts behind any expression, action, or crime (on top of the fact of the crime itself) for the avowed purpose of eliminating 'hate' from the body politic.

e. Accept the possibility that the sins of my forebears past can never be atoned for and, consequently, that my children and their children will pay a lifelong penance as a multi-generational sacrifice to the principle of social justice.

f.  Feel proud that my own lofty principles have made my descendants indentured servants to a debt they played no part in creating.

3. In order to ensure universal healthcare on an equal basis, I personally am prepared to:

a.  Consent to the government's right to tax and regulate my preferred diet and sensory vices in the interest of preventing healthcare costs that must be borne by the general population.

b.  Consent to the possibility that 'equal' healthcare may result in treatment delays, drug rationing, and reduced technological advances in medical care owing to a decline in profit opportunity for pharmaceutical and medical technology companies.

c.  Consent to the government's right to supervise treatment of my injuries and illnesses in order to prevent excessive costs that must be borne by the general population.

d.  Consent to the government's right to withhold treatment from me for ailments that are caused by my own poor decisions regarding drug, alcohol, and tobacco use, obesity, unhealthy dietary behaviors, and excessive age.

e.  Consent to the government's right to withhold treatment from my children and theirs for poor decisions they may have made about drugs, alcohol, food, and genetic parentage.

f.  Feel proud that I and my children and their children will probably die younger than my parents did because of the just equality in healthcare administration my principles helped bring about.

4.  In order to maintain the freedom to choose for all women who become pregnant, I personally am prepared to:

a.  Accept women as the superior sex, in that they have the right to choose life or death for the product of a man-woman union and men do not.

b. Give up my right, or the right of my sons, to have any say in the fate of an embryo they have fertilized and which would, if not aborted, become the fruit of their loins and just possibly a justification for their having lived at all.

c.  Live my whole life without ever confronting my own emotions about the fact that my own mother could have chosen to abort me for reasons of economy, convenience, or carelessly belated birth control.

d.  Accept that my daughter's freedom to choose means that she can make a life and death decision that could affect her mental health for the rest of her life without my having any right to participate in or even know about her decision.

e.  Accept that my daughter's freedom to choose might mean that she is the victim of rape or statutory rape without my having any right to know what happened to her, comfort her, or pursue justice against the malefactor to prevent additional rapes.

f.   Feel proud that my daughter's freedom to choose automatically places the state between her and me, as if I were the enemy to be feared and the state the friend who loves and protects her.

5. In order to prevent any aggression or imperialistic domination by the United States of America against other nations or foreign nationals, I personally am prepared to:

a. Accept as a postulate that the United States is at fault, by default, whenever some other nation or foreign entity expresses a grievance against us.

b. Overlook the excesses of foreign dictators who persecute their own people because the demons that inspire such crimes were probably caused in the first place by the colonial crimes of imperialistic western nations.

c.  Accept the probability that without U.S. bullying, the state of Israel will be destroyed in a nuclear attack within a decade.

d.  Accept the probability that extending U.S. constitutional  protections to non-U.S. citizens who are sworn to kill us will eventually result in another catatrophic loss of American life, probably greater by far than what we experienced on 9/11.

e.  Accept the possibility that I or my children will die a horrible death for my conviction that everyone who has a grudge against the United States is justified and that we are automatically guilty of what they seek to punish us for.

f.  Feel proud that I am willing to sacrifice the lives of my children and their children to foreign fanatics whose morality also celebrates the murder of wives, daughters and grandmothers for speaking to men outside their immediate families.

6. In order to save the planet from global warming, I personally am prepared to:

a.  Give up the carbon-generating technologies I have come to depend on, including minivans, child seats, email, Facebook, iPods, and Blackberries.

b.  Accept that my children will increasingly be navigating the highways in vehicles that are as crashworthy as aluminum beercans.

c.  Consent in the gradual demolition of western technological economies that are responsible for feeding and sheltering both us and the Third World we pretend to want to help.

d.  Celebrate the eventual establishment of a world government intent on leveling all nations and reducing their technological capacities to subsistence level, equal perhaps to what we see in Uganda today.

e.  Feel proud that my principles have dismantled everything accomplished in the human standard of living since the Renaissance began in the 14th century. Ah, the bliss of universal justice.

If there is no point at which they answer "no," you have every right to point out that they are self-hating masochists.


Artwork by Alan MacDonald, 1994.

If there is some point at which they answer "no" in any or all of these areas, you are entitled to point out that the leaders they trust so much have never identified the limits of what they will expect from their followers. Not Obama, not Al Gore, not Teddy Kennedy, not any of their "progressive" leading lights. Drawing a line between utopia and dystopia would be up to the rank-and-file liberals who have, it appears, entirely forgotten how to think.

Insist on answers to the quiz questions. Jolly them along. Don't let them get away with saying, "That won't ever happen," or "That's an unfair question." They don't know what can't happen, and it's never unfair to ask them just how far their "ideals" go.

When you have their answers, you might have the beginnings of a conversation. Not that it will help. Because they don't know how to think anymore. But at least you'll be justified in pointing that out to them. And none of them will be able to cite a single source that rules out the worst case questions you've asked.

Do it. Administer the quiz. Your own heart will beat faster and harder.







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