Wednesday, August 04, 2004


We Can't Wait.

BAD BOYS. It seems the Bush Administration, or one of its big honchos, is angry about a movie:

A new film set for release from PARAMOUNT has raised the pop culture threat levels at the White House -- a film which lampoons the war on terror [and media urgency] using puppets, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

"I really do not think terrorism is funny, and I would suggest PARAMOUNT give respect to those fighting and sacrificing to keep America safe," a senior Bush adviser told the DRUDGE REPORT this weekend.

The new fuss film TEAM AMERICA, set for release two weeks before the November presidential election, is entering post-production with SOUTH PARK creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

A deep voice using serious tones opens the film's teaser: "We live in a time of unparalleled danger. Weapons of Mass Destruction are being offered to terrorists all over the world. Global chaos is about to consume every country on Earth. And there is only one hope for humanity."

The movie's official poster features an apparent Bush look-a-like [strings attached] with his back to the viewer.

The so-called "Bush look-a-like" [sic] is the figure shown above. For those who don't have an intimate knowledge of the back of Bush's head, it's kind of hard to tell if it's supposed to be Dubya or not. Regardless, we think the Bushies are overreacting here and should at least watch the trailer for Team America before they rant any more about this. From what we know about Matt Stone and Trey Parker, we'd bet that the movie is going to be taste-free, offensive to all races and sexes, and frequently funny. While the trailer does explicitly promise to anger the president, it also vows to enrage Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn, George Clooney, Michael Moore, Janeane Garofalo and assorted other Bush-hating lefties. A lot of rightwingers might not want any help from the likes of Stone and Parker, but they should calm down long enough to check out the phenomenon of South Park Republicans, whose votes will be as important as anyone else's in reelecting George Bush. Here's what Tech Central Station had to say on the subject:

The name stems from the primetime cartoon "South Park" that clearly demonstrates the contrast within the party. The show is widely condemned by some moralists, including members of the Christian right. Yet in spite of its coarse language and base humor, the show persuasively communicates the Republican position on many issues, including hate crime legislation ("a savage hypocrisy"), radical environmentalism, and rampant litigation by ambitious trial lawyers. In one episode, industrious gnomes pick apart myopic anti-corporate rhetoric and teach the main characters about the benefits of capitalism.

South Park Republicans are true Republicans, though they do not look or act like Pat Robertson. They believe in liberty, not conformity. They can enjoy watching The Sopranos even if they are New Jersey Italians. They can appreciate the tight abs of Britney Spears or Brad Pitt without worrying about the nation's decaying moral fiber. They strongly believe in liberty, personal responsibility, limited government, and free markets. However, they do not live by the edicts of political correctness.

They also have a sense of humor, which South Park does as well and Team America is likely to reconfirm. The movie is made with puppets, for God's sake, an obvious takeoff on the old classic children's show Thunderbirds. It's not going to fool even the dumbest Democrats into thinking it's a documentary, and if past performance is any guide, the writers are going to be far more interested in scoring cheap, vulgar laughs than in turning the tide of the election a couple weeks before the big day.

So relax fellas. If you'll buy the tickets, we'll buy the popcorn, Pepsi, and twizzlers and meet up with you in the lobby just before the show. And as for that stick in your ass, leave it at home. Theater seats are uncomfortable enough these days as it is.

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