Monday, January 04, 2010
My Friend, Lloyd Pye
UNDERVERSE. Months ago, I set up two new websites.They were there to deal with the bubbling, churning convictions of InstaPunk readers who loved science fiction above all other forms of art. And scientific debate above all other human disciplines. Faugh. (Hey. It's a hell of a lot easier to think you have something to say than to say something today, tomorrow, and the next day.) I remember that shortly before both sites died from lack of interest, like all things in declining America, they had occasion to attack Lloyd Pye, whom they ceased to attack only because I pronounced him a personal friend of mine. Mind you, they hadn't read anything by Lloyd Pye, had no basis for disrespecting him... it was just that he must be a fucking lunatic because they knew better.
I don't mean to assault my friends. But I do mean to defend my friend. Yes, he appears on TV regularly. On UFO Hunters, Monster Quest, and probably Ghost Whatnots USA. Does he haunt the airways on the old Art Bell radio show out of Las Vegas? Yes. Has he become rich from his research on a weird skull dug out of a desert grave a generation ago? No.
Lloyd Pye is not rich. As smart as he is, he should be. (Here's a nice online book he wrote.Which you can read for free.) But he isn't rich. He's forever grubbing -- and I do mean grubbing -- for money for a fucking DNA test. Why? Obviously because all he wants from life is to be a goddam Marsdhall McLuhan 15-minute star. That's why we have corresponded, duelled, agreed and disagreed, met in person, and exchanged arguments about all manner of subjects for the last five years. Because he's a fake and I'm a seer. Except he didn't call me a seer. He called me a polymath. Probably the only thing he's been seriously wrong about. The older I get, the more I retreat from my youthful conviction that I know everything about everything. I'd let all this go except that my personal email lately turned up the following from Mr. Pye:
A quick update on "MonsterQuest": I spent three days in El Paso filming again, this time with a forensic anthropologist named Susan Myster, a charming lady who feels the Starchild must result from deliberate "manipulation," the term she uses rather than cradleboarding. Surprisingly, she didn't add "hydrocephaly" to the mix, as experts usually do, although she (and no one else) can account for the skull's many other highly unusual characteristics. I'm not complaining, though. She was an absolute sweetheart, and without a skeptic of some kind on the show it could not be aired. I assume you all know by now that this is how the TV game is played when it comes to alternative subjects.
Another complaint lodged against me: I get them regularly, as you're coming to know, but when they're something others might be thinking, as is suggested in the letter, it's time to air it out with the list members to see if anyone has anything to add. I try my best to be open and above-board with everything relating to the important work of dealing with the Starchild, so negative opinions like this one need to be addressed, too. The letter is from Ken R., whom I've not heard from before this message. My reply is below his.
I read your book and really enjoyed it; however, one thing is bothering me. How long is this going to go on for? At the end of your book, you claimed that the skull only needed one more DNA test to verify that it isn't human and here we are a couple of years later with still no answers. I also see that you are branching out into other areas (Big Foot, fancy web pages, etc.), and can't help but wonder if you are just trying to make money and a name for yourself. What's the REAL deal with all this that you have going on? P.S. I am a subscriber to your update site but am tempted to remove my name because in my eyes you are losing credibility and I'm sure others are feeling the same. Thank You.
That's a courteous but frank letter of complaint, so I'll give you an equally courteous but frank answer. If you're on my mailing list you should already know the situation. We need about $250,000 for a very special DNA test that can recover the Starchild's entire genome, all 3 billion base pairs. Nothing else will do because we have to be able to announce to the world exactly HOW FAR the Starchild's genome was from a typical human's. That is a 3-4 month process, and because of its extreme importance and sensitivity we will have to film every significant step in the process to prove we did everything correctly.
We also have to produce a documentary movie that wraps the back story around the testing process, which will cost another $250,000. So we need fully a half-million dollar investment to make it happen. In the world of movie-making this is complete chicken-feed, but in the world of alternative knowledge, where most of us are not wealthy, it is an enormous amount. You can be sure that no one wants this to be over with more than I do. It's been a monkey on my back for 11 years now, and it feels like an elephant.
Also, if you read my book about this ordeal you should be ashamed of accusing me of doing it only to make money. The book makes clear that I had to voluntarily take a "vow of poverty" precisely to avoid giving scientists any ability to suggest my intentions are nefarious. You've never seen any copies of the Starchild skull for sale, or bumper stickers or mugs or posters or Mardi Gras masks or Halloween masks or kids' pajamas or anything else that would have been easy to make good money with, because anything like that would immediately cast doubt on my motives for proving its genetic heritage.
I've deliberately stayed poor and in the process went bankrupt in order to do this right. Why? Because I've known from the beginning that everything about the Starchild would be subject to intense scrutiny, and only scrupulous behavior on my part would pass muster with the scientists just waiting to pounce on any little misstep I might make. So far I haven't heard any of them accuse me of the usual offense of "being in it for the money," so it hurts like hell when someone supposedly from my own team, like you, suggests that I am.
As for my "fancy" website and my interest in bigfoot, etc., my website will be new but not fancy because I can't afford to hire professional help with it. And my interest in hominoids long preceeds my connection to the Starchild. In fact, my work in that field is why the Starchild came my way. So until you actually know who I am and how I got into the position I'm in, you shouldn't be so quick to criticize or make foolish accusations.
The REAL deal you asked about is simple: I'm trying to hang on through the economic downturn, like most people, so I can get on with trying to connect with the deep pocket person, or persons, who will finally lift the Starchild burden off our shoulders and place it on the shoulders of mainstream science, where it has always belonged.
You know... I get tired. Lloyd Pye is an honest man. He's also smart. How many of you would want to go toe to toe with me? When he was wrong he admitted it. When he was right I embraced it. [Bigfoot lives...!]
He was a tailback at Tulane and more than that:
Starchild eBook: www.starchildproject.com
Starchild paperback book: www.amazon.com
Everything You Know Is Wrong: www.iUniverse.com
Mismatch (hi-tech spy thriller): www.iUniverse.com
A Darker Shade of Red (football novel): www.amazon.com
YouTube address: www.youtube.com/officiallloydpye
I was only a fencer. And a saber star. And a Chrysler monster. And, of course, InstaPunk.