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Thursday, May 13, 2010
Crosby with the
Puck
When
an irresistible force meets an immovable object, it must be The Hockey.
UPDATE.
Couldn't resist this. With all apologies to Ernest Thayer's 1882
classic, "Casey
at the Bat":The Outlook wasn't brilliant for the
Pittsburgh six that day:
The score stood hard against the Pens, with but one minute more to play.
And when the hometown goalie had to leave the ice in shame,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Crosby could upend the Habs' good luck -
We'd put up even money, now, if Crosby got the puck.
But Penguin offense was anemic, and Hab defense amounted to attack;
The former was a kiss of death because the latter's goalie was Halak.
So on the Pittsburgh legions a bloody sun began to set,
For there seemed but little chance of Crosby charging to the net.
But Montreal got careless, and one reckless pass went just astray;
The checking was ferocious, Pen skaters joined and upped the fray;
And when the spray of ice had settled, the crowd went clean amok,
'Cause Sidney perfect Crosby had possession of the puck.
Then from 10,000 throats and more there rose a hopeful hoot;
It rumbled through the Center, it rattled all about;
It drummed the battered boards and seemed a surefire bet,
For Crosby, Sidney Crosby, was advancing on the net.
There was ease in Crosby's passage as he slithered down the ice;
There was pride in Crosby's bearing and a smile on Crosby's face.
And when, beset by Habs, he escaped with fake and duck,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Crosby with the puck.
Ten thousand faces eyed him as he conjured with his stick;
Ten thousand tongues applauded when he slipped another check;
Then while the last defenseman spun from his clever hip,
Defiance gleamed in Crosby's eye, a sneer curled Crosby's lip.
And now the deadly black-eyed puck goes hurtling through the air,
And Crosby waited, watching it, in haughty grandeur there.
Fired by the godlike superstar, the puck unleash-ed sped --
"We'll win it now, Game 7 is ours" the Pen announcer said.
The sneer is gone from Crosby's lip, his teeth are clenched in rage;
He pounds with cruel violence his stick against the cage;
And now the goalie sees the puck, and now he reaches out,
And now the air is shattered by the blare of Crosby's shout...
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Pittsburgh - Sidney Crosby has struck out.
The score stood hard against the Pens, with but one minute more to play.
And when the hometown goalie had to leave the ice in shame,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Crosby could upend the Habs' good luck -
We'd put up even money, now, if Crosby got the puck.
But Penguin offense was anemic, and Hab defense amounted to attack;
The former was a kiss of death because the latter's goalie was Halak.
So on the Pittsburgh legions a bloody sun began to set,
For there seemed but little chance of Crosby charging to the net.
But Montreal got careless, and one reckless pass went just astray;
The checking was ferocious, Pen skaters joined and upped the fray;
And when the spray of ice had settled, the crowd went clean amok,
'Cause Sidney perfect Crosby had possession of the puck.
Then from 10,000 throats and more there rose a hopeful hoot;
It rumbled through the Center, it rattled all about;
It drummed the battered boards and seemed a surefire bet,
For Crosby, Sidney Crosby, was advancing on the net.
There was ease in Crosby's passage as he slithered down the ice;
There was pride in Crosby's bearing and a smile on Crosby's face.
And when, beset by Habs, he escaped with fake and duck,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Crosby with the puck.
Ten thousand faces eyed him as he conjured with his stick;
Ten thousand tongues applauded when he slipped another check;
Then while the last defenseman spun from his clever hip,
Defiance gleamed in Crosby's eye, a sneer curled Crosby's lip.
And now the deadly black-eyed puck goes hurtling through the air,
And Crosby waited, watching it, in haughty grandeur there.
Fired by the godlike superstar, the puck unleash-ed sped --
"We'll win it now, Game 7 is ours" the Pen announcer said.
The sneer is gone from Crosby's lip, his teeth are clenched in rage;
He pounds with cruel violence his stick against the cage;
And now the goalie sees the puck, and now he reaches out,
And now the air is shattered by the blare of Crosby's shout...
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Pittsburgh - Sidney Crosby has struck out.
One miracle down. One miracle to go -- Flyers against the Bruins, tomorrow night. And, though it goes without saying, congratulations, Montreal Canadiens.
P.S. This particular outcome was predicted before the game began by our own Puck Punk. As his editor I can vouch, with my word of honor, that I received his post at least two hours before the initial face-off. (He wasn't right about the Flyers, but nobody's perfect.) In deference to this incredibly unlikely call, I'm giving you the entire post to peruse at your leisure:
Believe
Well I have a good news, every body. I
have a very good news. The
last knock at the door is not the deportion agent or loan
officer, but it is the worker of the census. He ask me why I not
give him my form to the mail, and when I say I am not citizen of the
U.S. he make the big smile and ask me to talk in my house. We sit down
and he explain to me the correct way to make out the form of census.
He say is only practice for when one day soon I am become a citizen in the amnesty. He even let me practice of fill out the form many, many time, each time with different name, gender, race and address to match my neighbors, but always saying I have many childrens. I tell you this, mes amis: when I am US citizen in future, always I know how to fill out the census form very good and all is to the thank of this nice worker.
And for a better news, he gives me the job to collect the more census form! This is many good because at same time I find out that the Dish Networks call plan does not work like I think. Instead of get money I get only the free credit for more Dish Networks service, which I like, but for what use is many Dish Networks credit if the electric bill can not be pay?
But now I am come to the best news of all: my Montreal Canadiens. First they are defeat the Washingtons after being down 3 to 1 games. Then they are down 3 to 2 games to the Penguin Crosbys, but then they win a glorious game 6 and are now at the tie of 3 games with the game 7 tonight. Oh, my heart jump to my throat and my hands are shake, but tonight I still watch! You must see what you miss if you are not watching the hockey two night before:
He say is only practice for when one day soon I am become a citizen in the amnesty. He even let me practice of fill out the form many, many time, each time with different name, gender, race and address to match my neighbors, but always saying I have many childrens. I tell you this, mes amis: when I am US citizen in future, always I know how to fill out the census form very good and all is to the thank of this nice worker.
And for a better news, he gives me the job to collect the more census form! This is many good because at same time I find out that the Dish Networks call plan does not work like I think. Instead of get money I get only the free credit for more Dish Networks service, which I like, but for what use is many Dish Networks credit if the electric bill can not be pay?
But now I am come to the best news of all: my Montreal Canadiens. First they are defeat the Washingtons after being down 3 to 1 games. Then they are down 3 to 2 games to the Penguin Crosbys, but then they win a glorious game 6 and are now at the tie of 3 games with the game 7 tonight. Oh, my heart jump to my throat and my hands are shake, but tonight I still watch! You must see what you miss if you are not watching the hockey two night before:
L'incroyable!
And also the InstaPunk Phlyers have a
good game against the Bear until they lose tonight in Phyladelphia.
I am sorry about this as the InstaPunk is only now discover the
wonderful of the hockey, and maybe he does not watch more if the
Phlyers go away, but as we say in French Canada: c'est la guerre.
For anyone who care about the West, it is very excite. The Shark will now play the Chicagos, so one of them must go to final to play for Stanley Cup! I must stress to every body at the InstaPunks to watch this games for seeing much wonderful hockey games! Do not disappoint, please!
Many of us Canadian forget that outside our country, nobody grow up with good sports like the hockey or the curling, and maybe this is why for you it is hard to like the anyshell. All announcer of games are Canadian and they do not care to teach a class about rules for every show. And Barry "The Mullet" Melrose is the only person left at the ESPN who knows about the hockey, but the American there do not like for him to talk so much because on the SportsCentral show they need more of the times to talk about the Danica Patrick, the any-A basketball with Snoop Jackson, and the strange game about the tall, ugly girls, too.
So do not forget, you must give the hockey a good chance, and start tonight to watch my Habs as they kill the Penguin and make all in the Pittsburg cry asleep in bed. For this thought makes my heart warm. Okay, I must go now for nap. I work night shift of the census tonight and it start after the game of the Habs and Crosbys. My new boss say to wear ski hat and bring baseball bat for the work tonight. I do not understand why is the reason for this or why we must work at late night to take the census form, but my boss pay me in the cash monies so I do not ask too many of the questions. Still, I am many excite about this new job, because it seem your workers of the census are always so busy. Your country is very amuse.
For anyone who care about the West, it is very excite. The Shark will now play the Chicagos, so one of them must go to final to play for Stanley Cup! I must stress to every body at the InstaPunks to watch this games for seeing much wonderful hockey games! Do not disappoint, please!
Many of us Canadian forget that outside our country, nobody grow up with good sports like the hockey or the curling, and maybe this is why for you it is hard to like the anyshell. All announcer of games are Canadian and they do not care to teach a class about rules for every show. And Barry "The Mullet" Melrose is the only person left at the ESPN who knows about the hockey, but the American there do not like for him to talk so much because on the SportsCentral show they need more of the times to talk about the Danica Patrick, the any-A basketball with Snoop Jackson, and the strange game about the tall, ugly girls, too.
So do not forget, you must give the hockey a good chance, and start tonight to watch my Habs as they kill the Penguin and make all in the Pittsburg cry asleep in bed. For this thought makes my heart warm. Okay, I must go now for nap. I work night shift of the census tonight and it start after the game of the Habs and Crosbys. My new boss say to wear ski hat and bring baseball bat for the work tonight. I do not understand why is the reason for this or why we must work at late night to take the census form, but my boss pay me in the cash monies so I do not ask too many of the questions. Still, I am many excite about this new job, because it seem your workers of the census are always so busy. Your country is very amuse.
Somehow, I expect he's going to have more to say shortly.
