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Tuesday, January 25, 2011
"She thought I was
stupid."
... he said.
Sometimes, moms
are right.
CONTINUING PUNISHMENT. He'd have had a better game on Sunday except that it was so cold and all his split ends broke off when he put the helmet on.
Anybody else tired of hair as an NFL topic, pro and con? Oh, it's not allowed, not fair, to pull the hair of a fucking NFL linebacker who's trying to kill you with his helmet-first tackle? It makes Packer Clay Matthews "want to scream." It makes Steeler Troy Palomalu want to "pull somebody elses's hair out." Ooh. Right. That would hurt. No wonder the NFL has a ban against pulling the hair of the prettiest linebackers.
I promised I'd give you the goods about Troy Palomalu. He's a nancy boy. Which in the current cultural context means he's a terrific role model. You know. Everybody on earth but close-clipped Lesbians should spend all their free time sucking cock. We got that.
Just don't pull his hair. Which is what his mother emphasizes in her interviews. "I shouldn't have let him play football in the first place, although I am grateful for the solid gold vaginal thingummy I wear these days except when I have an infection." She winks, then sighs but continues, like all mothers of all NFL mega-millionaires always continue when there's a camera turned on. "But he's a good boy. His hair was always just beautiful, like lustrous or something. I should have done more to make his life easier when all the recruiters started coming around in middle school. He always wanted to watch me pee. I didn't let him. I'm so sorry. Now he's hanging out at middle school basketball games. With that hair. I should have loved him more."
Mike Ditka and Jamie Dukes will have more on this fascinaing story later. He's headed for the Hall of Fame, don't you know. Which means he's defintely not hanging out at middle schools. With his hair.
