I'm a conservative obviously. But I just spent an hour switching
back and forth between the two poles of cable news, MSNBC and Fox News.
We need something better. Not CNN, which is MSNBC Lite. Perhaps it's
more pernicious that MSNBC featured Brian Williams "reporting" from the
scene in Egypt, declaring that the Muslim Brotherhood means no harm.
Bullshit. Yet it's also depressing to see a debate between Bill
O'Reilly and Glenn Beck that never touches on reality. More bullshit.
defending FDR foreign policy while Beck decries Woodrow Wilson foreign
policy. Yelling on both sides. Fair and balanced imbecility. Did I
forget to mention that Lawrence O'Donnell interviewed Brian Williams
he moved into a protracted slam attack on Sarah Palin? Or that he also
covered the Florida Supreme Court decision that ObamaCare is
unconstitutional by interviewing two opponents of the decison and no
one else? His definitive guest was constitutional expert Anthony Weiner,
the reason I'm still
Just a word or two about Weiner before I continue. The single smartest
politician I've seen in any media interview. Ever. Anyone watching
him would simply assume that he's a lawyer, because he's so damn deadly
and deft in his attacks. Harvard Law? No. He has a bachelor of arts
from SUNY Plattsburgh. He's never worked in the private sector.
Politics has been his entire adult life.
Not to demean him. He's brilliant.
Weiner worked on the staff of
then-Congressman and current Senator Chuck Schumer (1985–91). First
working in Schumer's office in Washington, D.C., he was sent to the
District Office in Brooklyn in 1988 when Schumer encouraged him to
become involved in local politics.
In 1991, after a three-way primary and a
four-way general election, Weiner was elected to the New York City
At 27, he was the youngest person to serve on the Council to that date.
Over the next seven years on the City
Council, Weiner initiated programs to tackle quality of life concerns.
He started a program to put at-risk and troubled teens to work cleaning
up graffiti. He spearheaded development plans for historic Sheepshead
Bay that led to a revival of the area; and, when supermarkets started
leaving the neighborhood, Weiner worked to reverse the trend.
As Chairman of the Subcommittee on Public
he fought to increase federal funding, to ban dangerous dogs, and to
add more police officers to the beat. His investigation into the cause
of sudden, fatal stairwell fires made headlines; he exposed dangerous
practices that eventually led the city to replace the paint in
In 1998, Congressman Chuck Schumer opted
to try to unseat Senator D'Amato. In the Democratic primary election,
Schumer won the right to face D'Amato, whom he defeated in the General
Election; and Weiner won the Democratic nomination to succeed Schumer,
which was tantamount to election in the heavily Democratic 9th
District. He is only the fifth person to represent the District since
its creation in 1920.
Make no mistake. If I had to pick one member of Congress to have dinner
with, it would be Anthony Weiner. But only because Shane is always
looking for dangerous company.
Anthony Weiner is the true measure of what news media, cable or
otherwise, can do to twist truth. He's a superb debater in the context
of the three minute yelling matches sponsored by MSNBC and Fox. Quick,
facile, and false, yet equally adept on the riposte. He knows the facts
he's determined to cite.... he's a genius... and he's a lying creep.
I talk about Weiner because he's the socialist bogeyman the right (or new right
or tea party or whatever) has to defeat. You'll never do it. You might try to
do it with superior command of the facts, except that Weiner is a
flat-out liar and when he isn't lying
he's twisting the facts so imaginatively you'd have to run to keep up.
Which is why Steve Doocy, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and even Don Imus always start out all confident smiles with Weiner and reach
the finish line looking winded and, uh dumb. Weiner's as convincing as
any editor of the
Harvard Law Review you've ever been snubbed by at a wedding. His
biggest talent is making YOU feel small.
YOU, meaning all the Republicans from Indianapolis, Mobile, and, well,
Jesusville, er, Everywhere/Anywhere, USA.
So. My thought is of a NEW network, neither left nor right. The premise
is a series of mediators like Charley Rose, if Charley Rose weren't
such a lefty asshole, asking questions of opposing opinion makers --
without prejudice or intent but merely to elicit further explanation
and without subsequent biasing comments like "oh" or "ah," or
"smirk:"-- enabling us in the audience to learn something. "Can you
elaborate on that based on more
reference to your personal experience?" would be an excellent interview
question by a professionally trained host like...
Aye. There's the rub. Even Charley Rose is merely Christiane Ammanpour
with a smaller cock. What Islamists have managed thus far. A frightened
cock is always smaller than a hard-on planning to get laid in heavenhell.
a difference. For Islamists.
But something they should remember. Those of us who live life don't care
about virgins. We're not that needy or insecure.
Why we're talking about a television network. Cutting... finally... to
the chase. Until conservatives jettison O'Reilly and Hannity and all
the other dumb Irish reactionaries who rant without researching their opponents, they'll never beat Anthony Weiner.
Why do they keep acting like he's a run-of-the-mill dumbshit liberal guest? Why do they keep getting their clocks cleaned and inviting him back to do it again?
What the hell ails Fox News? Time for an upgrade from the programmatic yellers to actual thinkers? Ya think? I think Ailes can still think. He should think about my vision of a 'Referee Network.' Because the one he's got is turning fatally Doocy.
All right. I admit it. I could bury Anthony Weiner. Absolutely
obliterate him. But nobody's asked
me to. I'm Shane. He's Jack Palance bullying the ones who can't fight
back because they're way too intimidated by his New York arrogance:
Think I'm kidding? I'm starting to throw up blood at all the easy
interviews I've heard with Weiner by Hannity, O'Reilly, Imus, and Fox &
Friends. They sail in with smiles and preconceived truths, and he eats them for lunch while I fume at their
lack of preparation and wit. The hell with them. They deserve what they
get from the fast gun they've let into their house. MY first target is that
superior smirk. My smirk is better founded.
Because I'm so much older, more experienced about real American life, and, well, resigned to the futility of condescending liberal utopianism. Give me a long
moment with him, and a chance to meet him eye to eye, and I'll, well...
...convert his ass. Yuh.
Now don't be calling the feds on me, anyone. If you don't know what a
metaphor is. my attorneys will be asking you about numbers between nine and
eleven. And I'll be explaining to the wide American world about a life consisting entirely
of metaphor. The way things go. Artistic freedom means artists get to
imagine justice, and nobody else gets to live it.
But sometimes metaphor isn't enough. I actually want to debate Weiner
I'm sick of his triumphant appearances on Fox. They never
prepare. That's what it takes. A smirk does not make you smart and a man
who has never actually experienced capitalism cannot be an expert in it.
And, like Shane (as I told a close friend I recently slew here) I am
still holding back.