Archives
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
I
watched the
Grammies!
Not a bad wrap-up
at all. 75% right is a high batting average in these matters.
LATER THE SAME DAY. I told you we had a visit from the daughter-child, and she asked if we were going to watch the Grammies, at which I laughed dismissively and was immediately surprised to hear Mrs. CP say, "Yes, indeedy." So we did. The first couple of hours anyway.
Years since I watched one of these things. But I'm glad I did. The only acts I really hated were Christina Aguilera trying to channel Aretha Franklin and the F*** You song performed by Gwyneth Paltrow and a huge guy so gay looking that Elton John tried calling to protest his costume but couldn't get through because the ghost of Liberace was screaming bloody murder across all the available phone lines. At the risk of sounding nasty, I would like to see Christina Aguilera locked in a closet until therapists can convince her there's no such thing as a race-change operation. And I want Gwyneth Paltrow to just please go away, as far and forever as possible.
But other than that, I was (gulp) pleasantly surprised, mostly. For example, I'm definitely a latecomer to the Lady Gaga phenomenon, but I actually get what she's up to. She's doing her own inspired satire of the whole female pop star routine; her 'shocking' performance was simultaneously a tribute to Madonna and a brilliant sendup of Madonna. It's performance art. What I know for sure? She definitely has a head (or two) on her shoulders, even if they're coneheads. Madonna should feel flattered and more than a little uneasy. I can see Lady Gaga a few years down the road reinventing herself not as a pseudo-Brit aristocrat but a cold-blooded, bespectacled commodities trader with a corner on the tin market.
Here's my real takeaway. Most of these young stars are genuinely talented, if not always my personal cup of tea. The young female singers can actually sing, including Rihanna and Katie Perry. Even the freakish Justin Bieber can sing far better than the dreary boy bands of old. Motown seems to be making a comeback via Bruno Mars, with echoes of the Temptations (synchronized dancing by backup singers, anyone?), Sam Cooke, Marvin Gaye, and Smokey Robinson, even if they're still young and derivative to my old ears. And they've all seemingly rediscovered the charm of dressing up for big occasions. Phony anger is on the wane. They're happy to be famous and pleased to perform. Rap is fading -- Eminem's riveting on-stage command notwithstanding -- and rock and roll is dead as a doornail. A band strongly reminiscent of the Cure (uh, Muse) won best rock album against a geriatric slagpile consisting of Neil Young, Tom Petty, Pearl Jam, and Jeff Beck (!!!!)
I truly enjoyed the Mumford & Sons/Avett Brothers segment even when they tried to wreck it with an appearance by Bob Dylan. They were all so clearly enjoying themselves just making music, and the Mumford lead singer is someone we identified months ago as a genuinely affecting talent.
Of course I have quibbles. I don't see the appeal of Lady Antebellum or the other country newcomer, Miranda Lambert. Sorry. Mumford & Sons should have won best new artist. And I still know nothing about Arcade Fire, who won best record or something. But I was entertained and not offended, excepting the exceptions noted above, and I am happy to concede that it's an improvement not to have to put up with Grace Slick projectile-vomiting on stage, Cher issuing political pronouncements from the depths of her moron mind, or gold-toothed assholes sporting guns and invitations to hump in the back seat of their rented Bentleys. Never let it be said that when there's progress I refuse to admit it.
I went to bed before Jagger performed. Isn't that a humbling confession of age?
But the chick up top said he still rocks. That's some measure of vindication for us old farts who couldn't stay awake long enough to watch. Isn't it?
P.S. Just for Mrs. CP. She fell asleep even before I did and missed Eminem. She likes Eminem.
So do I. Rihanna can sing, and Eminem is a f***ing force of nature. I will never apologize for this position. (The True Test: He's better live than in the video.) She should know. (btw, in her continuing revitalization program, she just gave me a Kindle for V-Day. Thereby opening up the whole world of e-books and such to her dinosaur husband. I think she intends to get me published. She's been impossible since she got her I-phone. Are you ready?)
