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Friday, September 02, 2011
uh, ok, helk...
Yeah.
I know. It's an animated Escher print with the X-Woman
Mystique in gold. Gold tits are kewl, but are they philosophical?
Sure we're all zombies, mummies or mutants. But have we been
neutered enough sexually? How can you tell? Is it our dancing?
Mystique in gold. Gold tits are kewl, but are they philosophical?
Sure we're all zombies, mummies or mutants. But have we been
neutered enough sexually? How can you tell? Is it our dancing?
I MAKE A JOKE, YOU MAKE A MYSTEREEEE. I know you're not actually approving this video, but since your desire was to provoke, I concede I am provoked. I especially liked the way it was preceded by an ad.
German expressionist krunking. My favorite. Choreographed, no doubt, by the loon Mia Michaels from "So You Think You Can Dance."
Apart from the production values, it contains all the insight and artistic illumination of the Kent State geniuses Devo. An empty artifice I addressed in Shuteye Town 1999, thus:
Big
City Blues
by the Monotones
by the Monotones
0.
We are the Monotones
2 We are reading a story out loud.
3 We are reading a story to you.
4 We are reading a story about life in the city.
5 We are sure you will like it.
6 We are sure you will like it because stories about life in the city are very popular.
7 We are going to read straight through to the end of the story, and we are sure you will listen because you will like it.
2 We are reading a story out loud.
3 We are reading a story to you.
4 We are reading a story about life in the city.
5 We are sure you will like it.
6 We are sure you will like it because stories about life in the city are very popular.
7 We are going to read straight through to the end of the story, and we are sure you will listen because you will like it.
1.
The story is about Roger.
2 Roger lives in the city.
3 Roger is very popular because he lives in the city and has a nice apartment.
4 Roger has many friends.
5 Roger has a charming personality.
6 Roger has a two o’clock appointment with one of his friends.
7 Roger has a smile on his face when he answers the door bell.
8 Roger’s friend is standing on the door sill.
9 Roger’s friend comes in and sits down on the sofa.
10 Roger’s friend goes, “Hi, Roger.”
11 Roger goes, “Hi, Fred.”
12 Fred goes, “I need your help.”
13 Roger goes, “What’s wrong, Fred?”
2 Roger lives in the city.
3 Roger is very popular because he lives in the city and has a nice apartment.
4 Roger has many friends.
5 Roger has a charming personality.
6 Roger has a two o’clock appointment with one of his friends.
7 Roger has a smile on his face when he answers the door bell.
8 Roger’s friend is standing on the door sill.
9 Roger’s friend comes in and sits down on the sofa.
10 Roger’s friend goes, “Hi, Roger.”
11 Roger goes, “Hi, Fred.”
12 Fred goes, “I need your help.”
13 Roger goes, “What’s wrong, Fred?”
2.
Fred tells Roger about his problems.
2 Fred tells Roger that his wife is leaving him.
3 Fred’s wife doesn’t love him anymore.
4 Fred’s wife is going to California to find herself.
5 Fred tells Roger that she took all the money out of the savings account.
6 She also sold all the stocks and bonds.
7 She also took the car.
8 Fred tells Roger that he is broke.
9 Roger goes, “That’s awful.”
10 Fred tells Roger that he needs a place to stay because he is getting thrown out of his apartment.
11 Roger goes, “Can I hear about this later? I have a date to play racketball and I’m already late.”
2 Fred tells Roger that his wife is leaving him.
3 Fred’s wife doesn’t love him anymore.
4 Fred’s wife is going to California to find herself.
5 Fred tells Roger that she took all the money out of the savings account.
6 She also sold all the stocks and bonds.
7 She also took the car.
8 Fred tells Roger that he is broke.
9 Roger goes, “That’s awful.”
10 Fred tells Roger that he needs a place to stay because he is getting thrown out of his apartment.
11 Roger goes, “Can I hear about this later? I have a date to play racketball and I’m already late.”
3.
Roger goes to play racketball.
2 Roger is good at racketball.
3 Everybody says so.
4 Roger is going to play racketball with his attorney friend Jim.
5 Jim is good at racketball too.
6 Everybody says so.
7 Fred and Jim are very good friends because they are both so good at racketball.
8 They like each other very much.
9 Now they are playing racketball.
10 Fred hits the ball with his racket.
11 Jim hits the ball with his racket.
12 Fred hits the ball with his racket.
13 Jim hits the ball with his racket.
14 Now they are both tired and resting.
15 Jim goes, “are you still going out with Jennifer?”
16 Roger goes, “Yes, I’m still going out with Jennifer.”
17 Jim goes, “I’d like to sleep with Jennifer.”
18 Roger goes, “I’m going out with Jennifer tonight.”
19 Jim goes, “Did you hear about Fred?”
20 Roger goes, “Yes, I heard about Fred.”
21 Jim goes, “Thrown out of his apartment. Bummer.”
22 Roger goes, “Bummer.”
23 Jim goes, “I wonder what he’s going to do.”
24 Roger goes, “I don’t know what he’s going to do.”
25 Jim goes, “Well, let’s play some more racketball.”
2 Roger is good at racketball.
3 Everybody says so.
4 Roger is going to play racketball with his attorney friend Jim.
5 Jim is good at racketball too.
6 Everybody says so.
7 Fred and Jim are very good friends because they are both so good at racketball.
8 They like each other very much.
9 Now they are playing racketball.
10 Fred hits the ball with his racket.
11 Jim hits the ball with his racket.
12 Fred hits the ball with his racket.
13 Jim hits the ball with his racket.
14 Now they are both tired and resting.
15 Jim goes, “are you still going out with Jennifer?”
16 Roger goes, “Yes, I’m still going out with Jennifer.”
17 Jim goes, “I’d like to sleep with Jennifer.”
18 Roger goes, “I’m going out with Jennifer tonight.”
19 Jim goes, “Did you hear about Fred?”
20 Roger goes, “Yes, I heard about Fred.”
21 Jim goes, “Thrown out of his apartment. Bummer.”
22 Roger goes, “Bummer.”
23 Jim goes, “I wonder what he’s going to do.”
24 Roger goes, “I don’t know what he’s going to do.”
25 Jim goes, “Well, let’s play some more racketball.”
4.
Roger is all done playing racketball.
2 Roger is back in his apartment.
3 Roger is taking a shower in his apartment because he doesn’t want to stink.
4 Roger doesn’t want to stink because he is going out on a date with Jennifer.
5 Roger is going out on a date with Jennifer for the fourth time.
6 Roger is going to do whatever he can to sleep with Jennifer because Jennifer has great big breasts.
7 Roger is going to his bedroom to put on some nice clothes when the door bell rings.
8 Roger is going to answer the door in his towel.
9 Roger is going to the door in his towel because he thinks Jennifer will think he looks sexy in a towel.
10 Roger is going to be surprised when he opens the door.
2 Roger is back in his apartment.
3 Roger is taking a shower in his apartment because he doesn’t want to stink.
4 Roger doesn’t want to stink because he is going out on a date with Jennifer.
5 Roger is going out on a date with Jennifer for the fourth time.
6 Roger is going to do whatever he can to sleep with Jennifer because Jennifer has great big breasts.
7 Roger is going to his bedroom to put on some nice clothes when the door bell rings.
8 Roger is going to answer the door in his towel.
9 Roger is going to the door in his towel because he thinks Jennifer will think he looks sexy in a towel.
10 Roger is going to be surprised when he opens the door.
5.
Roger is surprised when he opens the
door.
2 Roger is surprised because it isn’t Jennifer who is standing on the door sill.
3 The one who is standing on the door sill is a police officer.
4 Roger goes, “Can I help you, officer?”
5 The police officer goes, “Do you have a friend named Fred?”
6 Roger goes, “Yes, I have a friend named Fred.”
7 The police officer goes, “Could you identify your friend Fred by sight?”
8 Roger goes, “Yes, I could, but I have a date tonight.”
9 The police officer goes, “Could you identify your friend Fred even if he was lying on a slab at the morgue with a bullet hole in his head?”
10 Roger goes, “Yes, I could, but I have a date tonight.”
11 The police officer goes, “Well, cancel it. We’re going to the morgue.”
2 Roger is surprised because it isn’t Jennifer who is standing on the door sill.
3 The one who is standing on the door sill is a police officer.
4 Roger goes, “Can I help you, officer?”
5 The police officer goes, “Do you have a friend named Fred?”
6 Roger goes, “Yes, I have a friend named Fred.”
7 The police officer goes, “Could you identify your friend Fred by sight?”
8 Roger goes, “Yes, I could, but I have a date tonight.”
9 The police officer goes, “Could you identify your friend Fred even if he was lying on a slab at the morgue with a bullet hole in his head?”
10 Roger goes, “Yes, I could, but I have a date tonight.”
11 The police officer goes, “Well, cancel it. We’re going to the morgue.”
6.
Roger is going to the morgue.
2 Roger is going to the morgue to identify his friend Fred who is lying on a slab with a bullet in his head.
3 Roger is going to the morgue with a big frown on his face because he had to cancel his date with Jennifer.
4 Jennifer didn’t like it when Roger canceled the date.
5 Jennifer told Roger to piss off when he canceled the date.
6 Roger is standing in front of the slab where Fred is lying.
7 Roger is standing there with a great big frown on his face.
8 Fred is lying there with a great big hole in his head.
9 The police officer goes, “Is that your friend Fred?”
10 Roger goes, “That looks a lot like Fred, but I can’t be sure.”
11 The police officer goes, “It’s either Fred or it isn’t. Why can’t you be sure?”
12 Roger goes, “I’ve never seen Fred naked before. I’ve never seen Fred with a hole in his head before. I’ve never seen Fred without any blood inside before. I can’t be sure, and I don’t want to get involved because I have a date tonight.”
13 The police officer goes, “Have you ever seen Fred with a note in his hand that says Roger is a worthless stinking selfish bastard sonofabitch who ought to be charged with murder?”
14 Roger goes, “No. I’ve never seen Fred like that.”
15 The police officer goes, “Yes, you have, because that’s what the note in his hand said when we found him. And maybe we should charge you with killing him.”
16 Roger goes, “I didn’t kill him. He shot himself because his wife left him and took all his money, and he got thrown out of his apartment.”
17 The police officer goes, “Did you offer to help him out?”
18 Roger goes, “I had a date to play racketball.”
2 Roger is going to the morgue to identify his friend Fred who is lying on a slab with a bullet in his head.
3 Roger is going to the morgue with a big frown on his face because he had to cancel his date with Jennifer.
4 Jennifer didn’t like it when Roger canceled the date.
5 Jennifer told Roger to piss off when he canceled the date.
6 Roger is standing in front of the slab where Fred is lying.
7 Roger is standing there with a great big frown on his face.
8 Fred is lying there with a great big hole in his head.
9 The police officer goes, “Is that your friend Fred?”
10 Roger goes, “That looks a lot like Fred, but I can’t be sure.”
11 The police officer goes, “It’s either Fred or it isn’t. Why can’t you be sure?”
12 Roger goes, “I’ve never seen Fred naked before. I’ve never seen Fred with a hole in his head before. I’ve never seen Fred without any blood inside before. I can’t be sure, and I don’t want to get involved because I have a date tonight.”
13 The police officer goes, “Have you ever seen Fred with a note in his hand that says Roger is a worthless stinking selfish bastard sonofabitch who ought to be charged with murder?”
14 Roger goes, “No. I’ve never seen Fred like that.”
15 The police officer goes, “Yes, you have, because that’s what the note in his hand said when we found him. And maybe we should charge you with killing him.”
16 Roger goes, “I didn’t kill him. He shot himself because his wife left him and took all his money, and he got thrown out of his apartment.”
17 The police officer goes, “Did you offer to help him out?”
18 Roger goes, “I had a date to play racketball.”
7.
Roger had a date to play racketball.
2 Roger had a date to go out with Jennifer.
3 Now Roger has a date to go sit in the electric chair.
4 Roger thinks this is unfair because he didn’t kill Fred.
5 Roger thinks this all happened because the police officer was dishonest and twisted in the head.
6 Roger thinks this happened because the district attorney was an opportunistic and unscrupulous politician.
7 Roger thinks this happened because the defense attorney didn’t pay enough attention to the case and had too many dates with Jennifer during the trial.
8 Roger thinks this happened because the jury took an irrational dislike to him and ignored all the evidence that he didn’t do it.
9 Roger thinks this happened because the newspapers decided to make him look like some big uncaring villain who deserved to fry.
10 Roger is right.
2 Roger had a date to go out with Jennifer.
3 Now Roger has a date to go sit in the electric chair.
4 Roger thinks this is unfair because he didn’t kill Fred.
5 Roger thinks this all happened because the police officer was dishonest and twisted in the head.
6 Roger thinks this happened because the district attorney was an opportunistic and unscrupulous politician.
7 Roger thinks this happened because the defense attorney didn’t pay enough attention to the case and had too many dates with Jennifer during the trial.
8 Roger thinks this happened because the jury took an irrational dislike to him and ignored all the evidence that he didn’t do it.
9 Roger thinks this happened because the newspapers decided to make him look like some big uncaring villain who deserved to fry.
10 Roger is right.
8.
Roger is right in front of the electric
chair.
2 Roger is right on top of the electric chair.
3 Roger is right under the metal helmet that has the electrodes in it.
4 Roger goes, “I don’t want to die.”
5 Roger goes, “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.”
2 Roger is right on top of the electric chair.
3 Roger is right under the metal helmet that has the electrodes in it.
4 Roger goes, “I don’t want to die.”
5 Roger goes, “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.”
9.
Roger is dead.
2 We are the Monotones.
3 It has been a pleasure reading to you.
4 Thank you for listening.
2 We are the Monotones.
3 It has been a pleasure reading to you.
4 Thank you for listening.
uh, this isn't art. It's not writing. And it's not dancing, either. What's the "carrying capacity"? Nil.
Nobody's happy. Nobody's carrying any substance. Not salt and not sugar. Nobody's thinking. They're just fucking around. They're all just water under the bridge flowing in conformance to rigid choreography.
Because it's so much easier than living. Especially when you don't know anything. Which I think is what you're trying to point out. But -- and here's my quarrel with you -- go ahead and point it out. And specify it. You have just two modes -- abstruse mystical sermon nobody gets and bomb-throwing non-sequitur nobody gets.
Both are designed to isolate you from contact and criticism. You'd thrive if you confronted either or both. You don't get to be Ghandi and Joe Strummer at the same time. Make up your mind. Fight or Fold the universe into your infinite hand.
Someone of your attainments doesn't even get to be Roger Waters:
Because the Watered-down version doesn't begin to do justice to speaking up in the first place.
I've done what I do. Now it's time for you to do what you do. And you're sandbagging as far as I can tell.
