Wednesday, January 12, 2005


The Hillary Wing

President Bartlet and company looking forward to the second coming of Hillary.

PUTTING THE WOMEN IN CHARGE. If you haven't been paying attention to the West Wing (and according to the Nielsen's you haven't), it's time to take another look. The venerable propaganda arm of the Democratic Party has, in the wake of George W. Bush's astounding victory, finally lost its marbles altogether. A veritable tsunami of estrogen has swept through the show, flattening the White House landscape to a featureless expanse of tedious female monologues. President Bartlet, never more than 'cute' as a male role model, has been subjected by the writers to an attack of MS that leaves him so emasculated he can't even put on his short little trousers unaided. His aggressively masculine chief of staff has suffered a heart attack that reduces his role to an occasional walk-on. The feminist hordes who pen the scripts replaced him not with the deputy chief of staff or the communications director who got Bartlet elected (and reelected) in the first place, but with the tall female geek who spent the first 10 years of the Bartlet administration in the position of press secretary. Never heard of a press secretary becoming the president's chief of staff? That's because you don't watch the West Wing. Get busy. When you do, you'll find that the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, John Amos, who was once the sole figure in the administration who had anything to do with foreign policy, has been killed off in a terrorist bombing in the mideast. Now the only remaining authority on non-domestic matters is the National Security Adviser, a reasonably comely Lesbian who seems drop-dead gorgeous compared to the new press secretary, a three-foot-six-inch troll who sounds like she's been huffing helium in the ladies john. The other blond in the series, Donna, who used to answer the phone and make simple things complicated for Deputy COS Josh, has accepted an important position (of course) in the idiot vice president's campaign for the oval office, leaving her erstwhile boss with nothing to do but cower in fear of the huge black woman sent to replace his gofer by the temp agency. Meanwhile, the First Lady -- curiously back in physician harness as Jed's doctor-in-chief -- appears to be warming up for a turn as Mrs. Wilson, who ran the country (into the ground) as de facto president after Woodrow lost his mind early in his second term.

Clearly. the West Wing crew just can't wait for the day when Hillary takes office in 2009 and flushes all those nasty old white men out of our hair with a gush of menopausal wisdom. Maybe it's what we need (or not), but it sure does make for boring television. One more five-minute soliloquy by C.J. about how hard it is to be a female press secretary turned chief of staff, and I'm going to defect to Desperate White Housewives, or whatever they call that show with the not naked enough older women. So there.

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