Thursday, January 13, 2005


The Jester With No Name

QUOTES OF THE DAY. Famous people have cool stuff to say every day, and sometimes we like to pause and give them a moment of recognition. Today we're happy to share this gem from Clint Eastwood, who spoke at some banquet or other where Michael Moore was also in attendance:

"Michael Moore and I actually have a lot in common - we both appreciate living in a country where there's free expression," Eastwood told the star-dotted crowd attending the National Board of Review awards dinner at Tavern on the Green, where Eastwood picked up a Special Filmmaking Achievement prize for "Million Dollar Baby."

Then, the Republican-leaning actor/director advised the lefty filmmaker: "But, Michael, if you ever show up at my front door with a camera - I'll kill you."

The audience erupted in laughter, and Eastwood grinned dangerously.

"I mean it," he added.

It made our day, anyway.

At the other end of the political spectrum, Maureen Dowd seems to have run out of good humor altogether if today's column is at all indicative. A spicy sample:

In all those great Tracy/Hepburn movies more than a half-century ago, it was the snap and crackle of a romance between equals that was so exciting. Moviemakers these days seem far more interested in the soothing aura of romances between unequals.

In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef, falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr. Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking, overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has just lost her job with a commercial design firm. Picture Faye Dunaway in "Network" if she'd had to stay home, or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" without the charm.

The same attraction of unequals animated Richard Curtis's "Love Actually," a 2003 holiday hit. The witty and sophisticated British prime minister, played by Hugh Grant, falls for the chubby girl who wheels the tea and scones into his office. A businessman married to the substantial Emma Thompson falls for his sultry secretary. A writer falls for his maid, who speaks only Portuguese.

(I wonder if the trend in making maids who don't speak English heroines is related to the trend of guys who like to watch Kelly Ripa in the morning with the sound turned off?)

Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.

Poor thing. I didn't know it was equality women like Maureen were seeking. I thought it was something else, maybe something like, well, you know, control. I'm sure she'd hasten to say I'm dead wrong about that, but the funny thing is, I got the idea from actually talking to a whole bunch of women like Maureen. Maybe they were just in a bad mood at the time(s).

It reminds me of a joke I heard today. It was attributed to an "unknown man, probably deceased." You'll see why. It goes like this:

Q: Why do they call it PMS?
A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Get that look off your face. I didn't say it. It's a quote, dammit.

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