Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Hot off the wire!

BREAKING NEWS. Here are the people and places that make up the screaming headlines in today's state-of-the-art news media. We'd like to talk about more important topics, but sometimes you have to give the audience what it clamors for. So here are some stories we always thought we'd have the guts to ignore.

Michael Jackson's Legal Fix. It's the biggest gamble of his career, and according to the pundits he is in a "dicey situation." Well, yeah.

Aruba Looking for Outside Help. They just don't have the resources to work through normal channels. Word is, they're breaking new ground in seeking "how best to implement" their response to the situation.

Russell Crowe Assault. This time, the Australian actor may have bitten off more than he can chew. Here's the lowdown on what one master of understatement calls "a bad use of celebrity."

Brad Pitt Acting Sleazy. Is he really as scuzzy as some people think he is? The gossip mill is working at full tilt.

Hillary Clinton Ups the Ante Against Republicans. The Senator from New York is apparently pulling out all the stops against her political foes if you can believe this report from San Francisco.

Not Much Miami Heat. A terribly disappointing loss puts Miami's dreams on ice for now.

Impressed? We can play the tabloid game pretty darn well when we want to.

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