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Wednesday, July 13, 2005
The Roving Eye
This is a test!
SEPARATING THE WHEAT FROM THE CHAFF. What has long
been needed in the American political landscape is a means of
identifying the liberals who really are pure of heart and free of
hypocritical partisan bias. Now that the issue of Karl Rove has finally
taken center
stage, that means has finally become available. It has
been discovered through extensive research at Harvard, Yale, and
Wellesley that "true liberals" react differently to the animation above
than do conservatives, moderates, and the kind of liberals who are, in
their heart of hearts, just as venal, mean-spirited, and stupid as
conservatives and moderates.
For example, when a stupid and impure person views the animation, he or she is continuously prevented from focusing on the utter evil of the principal image because of subliminal phantasms of disgusting physical pleasures which seem to appear to the left and right of the evil. But when one of the true, great, brilliant, spotlessly virtuous liberals views the animation, he or she remains as fixed on the moving image of Rove as any cobra mesmerized by the swaying body of the snake charmer. No other images are visible at all, and the eyes of Rove seem to burn a deeper and deeper red as the ugliness of his soul seeps out onto the screen.
Isn't that cool?
Try it on all your liberal friends. At last you'll know which ones to bow down to in humble respect and which ones to keep on laughing and sneering at as usual.
Don't thank me. Thank the wonders of 21st century social science and our fine American colleges and universities. There's almost nothing they can't get to the bottom of with their studies, surveys, and research projects. At least that's what we give them all that grant money for, right?
For example, when a stupid and impure person views the animation, he or she is continuously prevented from focusing on the utter evil of the principal image because of subliminal phantasms of disgusting physical pleasures which seem to appear to the left and right of the evil. But when one of the true, great, brilliant, spotlessly virtuous liberals views the animation, he or she remains as fixed on the moving image of Rove as any cobra mesmerized by the swaying body of the snake charmer. No other images are visible at all, and the eyes of Rove seem to burn a deeper and deeper red as the ugliness of his soul seeps out onto the screen.
Isn't that cool?
Try it on all your liberal friends. At last you'll know which ones to bow down to in humble respect and which ones to keep on laughing and sneering at as usual.
Don't thank me. Thank the wonders of 21st century social science and our fine American colleges and universities. There's almost nothing they can't get to the bottom of with their studies, surveys, and research projects. At least that's what we give them all that grant money for, right?
