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Thursday, September 22, 2005

Porkbusting in NJ

Where to start.

TRUST. Glenn Reynolds has finally figured out how the blogosphere can help the victims of Katrina and Rita. He thinks we can help our local elected representatives identify pork barrel spending targeted for our own states. He calls his plan Porkbusters. Gosh, how I'd like to help Glenn out. That would be so cool for an unimportant little blogger like myself.

My own state is NJ, shown above. I live somewhere between the snout and the eye. It's real easy to see where one swift deep cut with the right kind of knife would do the most damage -- start at Camden and proceed due southeast. The effect would be to immediately empty the troughs that feed local and state governments, as well as the enormous stomachful of federal monies that are excreted year after year in bottomless latrines like Newark and Jersey City. Down where I live, everything would be better if the bloated porcine budgets went away -- the schools haven't educated anyone in my county in a generation, and the only growth industry we have is the construction of more and more ugly government buildings to house the unfireable do-nothings we pay those ridiculous salaries to.

But there's a problem, which I think you can see on the map. If you cut the throat of the beast, the gush of arterial blood would likely drain south, burying Salem, Burlington, and Cumberland counties under more fluid than Katrina produced. And other states wouldn't be safe, either. The thrashing of the hooves would savage much of eastern Pennsylvania, while the inevitable intestinal spasms would probably blow New York City apart.

I just don't think it's safe, Glenn. Why do you think we've put up for decades with the most corrupt slate of U.S. senators, governors, and legislators of any state in the union but Louisiana? If we voted them out of office and reclaimed control of our lives from Trenton and dumbasses like Corzine and Lautenberg, there'd be hell to pay. We'd practically have to start over from scratch.

And I'm also confused about something else, Glenn. Why do you think local politicians need our help in identifying the pork that's wasting the money of federal taxpayers? You think they don't already know where the pork is? Who thought it up in the first place, who fought for it and made dirty deals to pass it, and who stands to benefit by keeping the budgets as fat and happy as they are today?

I'm sure the ten percent of educated people who read and write blogs can dream up a big noise, but how do you turn a silent explosion on a computer into honest-to-God  legislation when there's no political majority on earth that would ever pass it without first engineering foolproof escape hatches? I don't see it.

I guess I'm not going to be much help. Again.







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