Tuesday, September 27, 2005


POPPYCOCK. This is an entry that could be posted at almost any time because the comparisons never cease. The most recent mass media example is from Bill Maher's show on HBO.

HBO "Real Time" host Bill Maher compared first lady Laura Bush to "Hitler's dog" during his Friday night cablecast, after flashing a parody photo of Mrs. Bush with a black eye, as if she'd been a victim of domestic abuse.

After the photo display, Maher was challenged by guest panelist Christopher Hitchens, who told him: "It must be to [George Bush's] credit he got Laura Bush to marry him. She's an absolutely extraordinary woman."

To that, Maher replied: "Oh, come on. That's like Hitler's dog loved him. That is the silliest reason ..."

Not the worst you've seen? Well, wait a few more minutes and someone is bound to say something worse. This kind of characterization is not, as some would have you believe, an isolated instance. Here's what you get if you do a Google image search for Bush Hitler. That's the first page of 2,650 entries, and it's only the tip of the iceberg. Try Google searches for Bush nazi, Bush fascist, Bush reich, Bush adolf, and other permutations. Invariably you'll receive pages of Photoshopped images like the one above.

But both sides do it, right? Wrong. Here's a Google search for Clinton Hitler. It nets 109 images, many of them showing neither Clinton nor Hitler. Or would the evil Republicans be more likely to depict Clinton as Stalin? Here's that search. Just 32 images, almost none of them a Clinton-as-Stalin likeness.

The reason for leftists' obsession with Hitler was extensively covered by InstaPunk's precursor back in 2003, so there's no need to analyze that aspect of the phenomenon. What remains is to illustrate the absurdity of the comparison on its face.

You see, Bill Maher thinks he's smart. He knows he speaks for hundreds of thousands of the self-styled intelligentsia who can't look at Bush without seeing the infamous toothbrush mustache. But Bill Maher and all his glib, unthinking snob friends on the left are idiots. They make their snide comparisons and repeat them and repeat them and repeat them as if sarcasm becomes funnier and truer as it hardens into cliche. It doesn't. What they're far too brain damaged to do is imagine what Hitler would have done if he were in George W. Bush's shoes. That's what we'll take a moment to do now.

1. After winning a close election (Hitler became chancellor with 33 percent of the vote compared to Bush's 50 percent in 2000), President Hitler would have looked for the first excuse -- say, 9/11 -- to terminate democracy in the country by declaring martial law and seeing to it that the U.S. Congress never met again. There would have been no legislation to create the Patriot Act or the Department of Homeland Security. Instead, a secret and all-powerful gestapo would have hunted down and killed all immigrants of middle eastern origin. Islam would have been outlawed in the U.S. by edict. A draft would have been implemented within days of 9/11 (and by 2005, the army would number in the tens of millions). There would have been no presidential election in 2004. All of the opposition leaders from former President Clinton to John Kerry to Howard Dean to Hillary and all their propaganda flacks would have been jailed or caused to permanently disappear.

2. President Hitler would never have attempted to gain the consent of the U.N. if he planned to invade Iraq. Just as Chancellor Hitler swallowed up Austria, President Hitler would have acted first and told the U.N. to go to hell. (And weapons of mass destruction would have been found in quantity, by the way.) If criticism had persisted from the U.N. headquarters in New York City, he would have closed it down or burned it to the ground a la the Reichstag fire.

3. Anti-war protests would have been preempted by presidential decree, with harsh penalties announced ahead of time for protesters and their families. If actual protests had nevertheless occurred, they would have been put down by the U.S. Army with ostentatious loss of life and public hangings of the captured ringleaders.

4. There would have been no reporting from the front, only government written propaganda. There would have been no Abu Ghraib scandal, and no camera would ever have been permitted within a hundred miles of the Guantanamo facility.

5. The entire mainstream media -- including everything from the NYT to Bill Maher's little corner of HBO -- would have been seized by the government and closed permanently or restaffed with handpicked toadies of the government. Bill Maher would likely be dead or breaking rocks with a pickaxe as he starved to death on minuscule rations. Maureen Dowd and Molly Ivins would be dead or forced prostitutes for security guards in press concentration camps.

6. Hollywood and show business in general would have ceased to exist as we know it. Any surviving studios would be cranking out pictures glorifying the President and promoting both the Victory in Iraq and the subsequent wars with Iran, Syria, North Korea, and just possibly France and Germany too. No American citizen would be safe in even uttering the names of Barbra Streisand, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, Oliver Stone, Steven Spielberg, Alec Baldwin, Whoopi Goldberg, George Clooney, Bruce Springsteen, the Dixie Chicks, Madonna, or the producers of Law and Order -- all of whom would have vanished from the public eye without trace or explanation. We would never have heard of Cindy Sheehan or Kanye West, who would have known better than to say a word against the President under any circumstances long before Hurricane Katrina.

7. No books bashing the President would ever have been published in the United States.

8. If it proved technically impossible to find and silence bloggers who insist on bashing the President, the Internet would be declared illegal and ruthlessly destroyed.

9, Creating the kinds of images disclosed by a Bush Hitler Google search would carry an automatic death penalty.

10. In carrying out his military ambitions, President Hitler would already have used nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons against any and all enemies, including civilian populations. The death toll of the War on Terror would stand in the tens of millions.

This list could be extended indefinitely. But there's no point. The left will never give up making such odious comparisons. That they can do so with impunity is absolute proof of how silly they are. But they're too damn stupid to comprehend even that much.

UPDATE. Apparently, Michelle Malkin thinks the libs have given up on the Hitler comparisons. She needs a refresher.

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