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Monday, October 31, 2005

A Battle over Principle

Miers stands aside in favor of Alito.

PRECEDENTS. At last the conservatives can begin preparing for the fight they've hungered for so desperately. The Senate Judiciary Committee will be the setting for a titanic confrontation between the conservative vision of the constitution as immutable bedrock of America and the liberal vision of the constitution as a paper towel used to wipe up every mess the little people make on the floor. It should be memorable. Intellectuals on the right have been girding for battle since Bork got bonked, and liberals have been amassing a war chest of personal smears even longer than that. We asked the God of the Right Wing, George Will, what it's going to take for his fellow Princeton alum Samuel Alito to prevail against Democrats Leahy, Kennedy, Schumer, and Biden on the left and Arlen "Bore them to Death" Specter in the slimy middle. Will was uncharacteristically direct:

Training is going to be the key. This contest will be more about endurance over multiple rounds than specific ring tactics. Kennedy in particular can hang in there as long as his corner maintains a ready supply of scotch, and Specter can keep going on the constant buzz he gets from the sound of his own voice. So Sam "The Jersey Giant" Alito is going to have to avoid the temptation to punch himself out in futile knockout attempts when he scores, as he will, with devastating clarity and logic. He should take his shots, sure, but when you're fighting opponents who just don't know when they've been staggered, you can get into a lot of trouble with over-pursuit. The bout will probably go the distance, and it may be decided in the end by a split decision.

Over at the Weekly Standard, the God of the Neocons, Bill Kristol, showed us the impressive conservative arsenal that Alito will have at his disposal:



We have to admit that it inspires confidence... at least until you get a load of the liberal arsenal they're displaying over at the Democratic caucus:



Principle is a wonderful thing, and we're sure it's going to be a great moment for American democracy when the idealists square off in the hearings. Are you looking forward to it as much as we are?







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