Archives
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Trojan Horse
Same
old story.
PSAYINGS.5Q.66.
We don't want to take anything away from Vince Young's
performance in the Rose Bowl last night. All the adjectives are
understatements -- spectacular, dazzling, brilliant, incredible,
awe-inspiring... And we're happy to point you to some of the lyrical
accounts of the game by sportswriters -- here, here,
here,
here,
and here
-- but we just have to interrupt the tidal wave of praise for Vince by
posing a question that occurs to us at regular intervals: What's this
Trojan thing all about?In the first place, what possible line of genealogy could connect the ancient Asia Minor city-state with an American university located in a suburb of Los Angeles, California? There must be such a line, because why else would a football team dedicated to victories and championships name itself after a place which is remembered only for a single war that it lost utterly. And the manner of that losing was even more humiliating than the absoluteness of Troy's destruction. All the greatest warriors of Troy were outshone by one Greek hero, Achilles (who was slain sneakily by the Trojan coward Paris), while the princes of Troy were outsmarted by Ulysses and his giant wooden horse. A horse that has become an eternal symbol, both visual and verbal, for bold cunning and calamitous change of circumstance. This prompts the geniuses at Southern Cal to name their team the USC Achaeans? No. The USC Myrmidons? No. Of course not. The USC Trojans. Huh?
Why? Whose idea was it? For what earthly reason? Could someone explain this to us? We don't know of any football teams called the Carthaginians. Yes, we're aware that some teams are named after Indian tribes that ultimately lost wars to the U.S. Cavalry, but they at least scored some victories along the way, if only with each other. The history of Troy includes not a single win. Zero. And whatever you do, don't trot out (pun intended) the one about Aeneas, last survivor of Troy, who plagiarizes Ulysses's wanderings and founds the empire of Rome. As a name, the USC Romans would make more sense than a herd of other candidates and therefore begs the same question all over again. The whole thing is beyond comprehension.
Forget it. Just thought we'd ask. Please return to your previous state of adulation or lamentation, whichever it was.
Troy. Or the Rose Bowl. Or something.
