Tuesday, February 14, 2006
A SCOOP FROM THE XOFF REPORT. For generations now, the psychology profession has used inkblots to tap the subconscious minds of human beings. It only took 50 years or so of data collection and tabulation to discover that whenever you show someone an inkblot, he always associates it with sex. To Dr. Gerhard Carschach, this phenomenon suggested that it's time -- for doctors and patients both -- to stop pretending that inkblots are houses or insects or cats on the mantlepiece. This just wastes time and muddies the waters. That's why he has developed a new set of eight blots that he regards as complete and sufficient for all psyches.
"Now that we know we're all of us always looking for sex in abstract images," Dr. Carschach explained in a recent interview, "we can ask a question much simpler than 'What does this make you think of?' We can ask, rather, which one of these blots turns you on the most? Sexually, I mean."
InstaPunk readers can experience the absolute insights of the new inkblots for themselves. The procedure is simple. Study all the blots on this page, including the one above, and after careful review and comparison, select the ONE that seems to you the most sexually suggestive and appealing. Then click on THAT inkblot for a detailed analysis of your sexual persona. But please don't be hasty. The results are correct 99.9 percent of the time, and the psychological damage can be immense and permanent if you inadvertently become one of the 0.01 percent of those who choose too quickly.
That small warning given, have at it and enjoy your voyage of personal discovery.
Needless to say, we picked the best one.
Bye for now.