Friday, July 28, 2006

The Friday Follies

Dancing with Mr. D.

TGIF. We thought we'd dispense with politics today and talk fashion. It's no good keeping up with current events if you aren't keeping up with what's in and what's out in matters of personal adornment. The chic mode these days is Islamic (as we predicted), thanks to these guys:

Fashion lords Arafat, Nasrallah, and Zarqawi

Is this a look or what? Especially the low-key Nasrallah approach, which can go as easily with a Burberry as it does with a blue suit. No wonder the creme de la creme of the western world are jumping on board.

Matt Lauer, Spanish PM Zapatero, and Howard Dean.

And don't be thinking it's anti-semitic to dress up like political activists who have said unkind things about the Jews in the past, because look at what Howard Dean just did. He denounced Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki as anti-semitic because he refused to condemn Hizbollah. Maybe Zapatero has said some things about Jews that weren't completely tactful, but that's a coincidence. Wearing the kaffiyeh isn't a statement in favor of genocide; it's just about looking really really good. Take Matt Lauer. He's never said a word about exterminating the Jewish vermin from the middle east. So there you go.

The thing is, Jewish fashions are not cool. For example, the yarmulke makes people think you're bald or getting there, or that you just look bald. People want to look young, vigorous, decisive, energetic, and swashbuckling. And that's exactly what kaffiyehs do for you.

Wear it on a date. It even makes smoking sexy again.

Wear it to outdoor activities. The camera will love you.

By now you must be wondering how you can join the fashionable throngs who are setting the pace in today's sartorial scene. Fortunately, it's easy. Men can find great items like the one below at this site. At $9.99 how can you beat the price?

Women are also in luck. Take a look at this beauty:

View from the back. And the front.

It's available at this nifty internet emporium for only $8.99. Ain't it grand?

Of course, it's possible that some of you might be a bit timid about launching yourself into the public eye with a great big kaffiyeh on, but there are also ways you can work your way up to it with baby steps. Like, what sophisticated apartment wouldn't be improved by this gorgeous poster?

You can order that baby right here, for just $5.00. At least your friends will know how cool you are, not to mention how peaceful and nonviolent and anti-anti-semitic you are because of all those peace signs.

Which reminds us, while we're on the subject of fashion and outdoor activities and so forth, we thought this would be a good time to help prevent some of you from making a big fashion boo-boo when you're trying to show the world how brilliant you are about peace and shit like that. Here's an example of what we're talking about:

As Michelle Malkin pointed out in her blog, this little gem of face art is not the peace sign, but the logo of Mercedes Benz. This could be particularly bad if you're also wearing a kaffiyeh, because Mercedes Benz has had some image problems of its own vis a vis the Jews in the past.

Not that everyone shouldn't automatically know that you're not a bad person, because you're not for war, are you? Just point to your other cheek, and they'll know what you mean, unless they've only ever read the Koran or something.

You can get more guidance about Palestinian fashions from this omnibus site.

And a final word to the wise: Don't be calling Mr. Nasrallah about any of this; we have it on good authority he's busy right now. And no matter how basically benevolent you are and he is, please remember that those other people you don't have any ill feelings toward are not being at all polite. Here's an image we grabbed from one of their sites.

It's part of a mean music video, and there are several other mean videos at the same site. So don't go there, and don't play all the videos, and don't keep scrolling down to find more disrespectful jokes and news stories and such. Not if you love peacefulness as much as we do.

Happy Friday and have a good weekend. Ali ali akbar or whatever the hell it is you people say to each other.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going out dancing.

P.S. Speaking of Friday Follies, what could be more foolish than adding a big chunk of stuff to an old entry nobody looked at anyway? But guess what we did. We created a whole new page of graphics to go with Wednesday's post about Hillary's Marble Brassiere. Why? Just being playful.

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