Archives
Friday, August 04, 2006
The Friday Follies
Dancing your cares away.
Dancing your cares away.
TGIF. Are you all dancing yet? If you need more help getting in the mood than the lovely ladies above, perhaps you'll be inspired by the likes of Tony Blair and Napoleon Dynamite. Even the saddest and grumpiest of you should be able to profit by their example.
Speaking of sad and grumpy, Mel Gibson doesn't seem to be having that great a week. Did any of you hear about his recent misadventure? No? Well, you can get a rough idea from WuzzademWuzzacopy, who has more background on the events of that night than you'll find in police reports. The good news is, Mel's already started therapy for his problem. Happily for the Friday Follies, his treatments also include dancing; we understand he has to follow along with this snappy little number 4 hours a day for the next six weeks. That ought to drive away the sad and grumpies.
Our next topic is cars. Cars don't dance, you say? Sure they do. Here's the proof:
We're sure that's fun and all, but there's another kind of fancy footwork cars do, and that's the kind we spent way too much of our youth practicing. These days -- what with radar and laser guns and traffic cams and other weapons of the nanny state -- that kind of automotive choreography has become something of a lost art. In fact, we feel sorry for the current generation of cartoon dudes who think cars are mobile CD/MP3 players. Maybe the film below (h/t Ace of Spades), which features 10 minutes of no music, no rap, and no over-strained over-sized speakers, will be educational for the kids who think "driving" consists of lying down in the lefthand seat with a Big Gulp between your knees and a cell phone screwed into your ear.
Of course, we're not suggesting that anyone like you try this at home. It's dangerous, it's irresponsible, it's illegal, and it's much more fun than today's delicate unisex constitutions can withstand. So don't do it. We've gone to considerable lengths, in fact, to find a pursuit that's more appropriate for contemporary skill sets. We call it Grand Theft Auto for Dummies. You'll love it.
For the curious, though, here's some history about the film, which has been a legend for almost 30 years. Uh, yeah, that site is in French. Sorry. But the movie is French. Here's another site that's in English, though not all its facts are correct. You figure it out.
Maybe some of you like it better when not all the facts are correct. If that's your preference, here's a wonderfully unfunny promo piece by Al Franken for his new book. (Anybody who doesn't see the punchline two minutes in advance of its, uh, delivery, please write us here at Instapunk. We can recommend some very good adult Special Ed instructors who will help you lead a somewhat normal life.)
We know. Now you have a bad taste in your mouth. Apologies. Do you like tap-dancing? Tap-dancing on the head of a humorless, self-important bureaucrat? Cool. Then try this (h/t Hugh Hewitt). You'll like it. Cancel that. You'll love it.
Bye now.
UPDATE. One more dance. Have you ever seen someone actually dance on the head of a pin? Or a thousand pins? Well, roar on over to Greg Gutfeld's blog at the Huffington Post today. All the Huffpo pinheads are screaming so furiously that they've closed the comments on his masterpiece of interrogation. He wins this month's Honorary Punk Award by acclamation.
