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Saturday, October 07, 2006
Handling Korea
Corolla Cruise Missile
Corolla Cruise Missile
XOFF NEWS. With North Korea threatening to test a nuclear bomb this weekend, pundits are speculating about how the Japanese will respond. Many agree with Austin Bay that "Japan will pursue offensive missiles and... its own nuclear weapons." Generally, however, this prediction is accompanied by a reminder that it takes a great deal of time to move from a state of near total disarmament to nuclear capability. Regardless of whether this is supposed to be good or bad news, it's not true. We're talking about Japan here.
XOFF News has learned that Japan's Toyota Motor Corporation, the inventor of Just-in-Time manufacturing, started development work on a nuclear cruise missile eight weeks ago. This weekend will see the first test flight of the Corolla Cruise Missile (Model 0), an admittedly rudimentary prototype, but one which can deliver a nuclear payload at up to 75 mph while achieving 34 mpg fuel economy. The Corolla's appointments are spartan, limited to a 3-speed manual transmission, roll-up windows and AM radio in the test vehicle, but engineers are already far along with the replacement Toyota Land Cruiser missile, which will feature higher top speeds, greater range, air conditioning, and a leather interior. Sources tell us that the Land Cruiser could be operational by mid-November, with a possible (and terribly hush-hush) high-end Lexus model to follow, perhaps as early as January 2007.
If they want to prove themselves smarter than the geniuses at Ford and GM, the North Koreans should proceed very carefully this weekend and ever after.
