Monday, October 16, 2006

The Rapture is Coming!

The righteous will be speaking in tongues.

A LIGHT IN THE EAST. Yes, the time is truly at hand. Come November 7, the forces of darkness and evil will be overthrown, and a new day will dawn in the world. Then the righteous will rise up in the House, and they will speak in the sacred tongues of the enlightened, and their words will be like stones, and the stones will break the bonds of the imprisoned ones whose only crime was to desire our heads on pikes, and our women entombed in living shrouds, and our children enticed to suicide.

And the false words of the War on Terror and National Security and Axis of Evil will melt away into silence, even as the tongues of the Great Secular Caliphate of DC form new words, which will blaze like a burning bush and consume the lives of the condemned, who will crumble to ash inside a great fiery pit, like unto an eternal congressional hearing, from which there can be no return.

And everywhere else in the world, the mouths of the righteous will fill with song, and they will sing with great freedom of the joy of killing, and beheading, and bombing, and ruling the infidel pigs, who will also sing with them, in becoming harmony, of the abiding glory of a constitution which protects all equally, from the most helpless and indigent to the most powerful and murderous, unless they be of the eternally condemned ones, the unspeakable Republicans, who shall languish and expire in the pit.

And miracles will blossom across the face of the earth like gigantic flowers, as all human problems fade away, and the enmities of centuries will be swallowed up by negotiations, and the inconvenient atoms which had begun to divide in hostility and war will be reunited by the panaceas of bilateral talks and rhetorical compromises in the Security Council, so that the blessed humanity of North Korea and Iran and the Palestine will suddenly yield up all their intransigent hatreds, and they will be as soothed and tender as is a troubled child who has been reassured. And, lo, all the killing will end in the land of Eden, between the Tigris and Euphrates, as the evil war-making ones are sent home in disgrace, and the blessed humanity of Mesopatamia is left alone to sort things out for itself.

And there shall be inexorable commandments given down from on high, which will quiet the turbulent oceans of evil radio waves, and the false visions of the slyly satanic Fox, and the few loathsome voices of dissent in the ivory towers of wisdom, and the wicked pen of the evil sorceress who is the pale horse of the Apocalypse. And she shall be cast down, utterly, and her tongue ripped out, and fed to the hyenas of the New York Times Magazine section.

And great trumpets shall be blown from the sacred forests of holly in the west, and, yea, the beautiful ones will beam and bask and bray their adoration, even as they fly toward the blessed east, whence cometh their salvation.

And all of us will admire them, in all humility, on bended knee, with faces covered as we bow down toward the sacred east, even unto Mecca, as we wait for our own inevitable punishment and ruin.

In short, it's gonna be great. Don't fight it. The show alone will be worth the price of admission.

UPDATE.  Don't know for how long it will be available, but InstaPunk has posted its first video at YouTube. It should be self explanatory.

We're serious about what the Repubs should be doing. If you think so, too, by all means tell somebody.

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