Archives
Friday, November 03, 2006
Lawn Jockey Slams
Malkin,
Steele, and the Republicans
Steele, and the Republicans
XOFF NEWS. In a
desperate attempt to find something, anything, outrageous to put in
print on the last Friday before the election, XOFF News reporters have
tracked down the most senior Lawn Jockey in Maryland to get his
response to this quote from Michelle Malkin's
blog:
Lemuel Jones, as he likes to be called, has spent a lifetime guarding the front entrance of one of the oldest surviving mansions in Annapolis, Maryland. But that doesn't mean he's a traitor to his race.
"I've voted straight Democratic in every election they take me to," he said in a personal interview Friday. "Just who is that Malkin woman to be telling stories about me? She's one of those Asians, isn't she? Probably Korean. Or Jewish. I've got no use for her kind."
On the touchy subject of whether he's going to vote for Maryland's black senate candidate, Michael Steele, Mr. Jones is firm: "He's a Republican. I don't vote for Republicans, white, black, brown, or purple. Never did. Never will. Period. So if my ride shows up, I'm going for the other fella."
Why, he's asked, do people continually think that black people of his profession are closet conservatives, capitalists, and other despicable things?
"I don't know," he says. "I never even had an Uncle Tom. Maybe it's the uniiform. I'd like to put my cap on backward and wear my pants underneath my buttocks like all the other homeys white women like so much, but I wasn't allowed to go to college in my day, so this is the kind of job I have to take. But I'll tell you one thing," he adds, "I'm no sellout. I don't ever smile at all the rich white crackers who drive through this entrance. And that goes double for Michael Steele and all the other white, racist Republicans -- like that no-account Malkin broad. And that Bush. Did I tell you how much I hate the President? Well, I do. Any more questions?"
No. That's about it. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to track down a lead about Laura Bush's torrid sexual affair with Lynn Cheney and George Bush's secret deal to let Halliburton strip-mine all the blue states for coal slag. One of these stories just has to break in time to make sure the Dems win the Senate on Tuesday. Trust us. Would we lie?
Steele has tapped into bubbling
discontent among independent-thinking minority voters--a phenomenon
ignored by MSM elites intent on smearing him as an Uncle Tom, sellout,
or "lawn jockey" and pandering to the tired, old liberal establishment.
Lemuel Jones, as he likes to be called, has spent a lifetime guarding the front entrance of one of the oldest surviving mansions in Annapolis, Maryland. But that doesn't mean he's a traitor to his race.
"I've voted straight Democratic in every election they take me to," he said in a personal interview Friday. "Just who is that Malkin woman to be telling stories about me? She's one of those Asians, isn't she? Probably Korean. Or Jewish. I've got no use for her kind."
On the touchy subject of whether he's going to vote for Maryland's black senate candidate, Michael Steele, Mr. Jones is firm: "He's a Republican. I don't vote for Republicans, white, black, brown, or purple. Never did. Never will. Period. So if my ride shows up, I'm going for the other fella."
Why, he's asked, do people continually think that black people of his profession are closet conservatives, capitalists, and other despicable things?
"I don't know," he says. "I never even had an Uncle Tom. Maybe it's the uniiform. I'd like to put my cap on backward and wear my pants underneath my buttocks like all the other homeys white women like so much, but I wasn't allowed to go to college in my day, so this is the kind of job I have to take. But I'll tell you one thing," he adds, "I'm no sellout. I don't ever smile at all the rich white crackers who drive through this entrance. And that goes double for Michael Steele and all the other white, racist Republicans -- like that no-account Malkin broad. And that Bush. Did I tell you how much I hate the President? Well, I do. Any more questions?"
No. That's about it. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to track down a lead about Laura Bush's torrid sexual affair with Lynn Cheney and George Bush's secret deal to let Halliburton strip-mine all the blue states for coal slag. One of these stories just has to break in time to make sure the Dems win the Senate on Tuesday. Trust us. Would we lie?
