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Friday, November 10, 2006

Outing Bill Maher

Nothing but a SCAM

CIAO. Ordinarily, we wouldn't do this, but like the man himself says, it's the hypocrisy that made us do it. If you're going to accuse people of things you normally don't disapprove of on the off chance that your disrespectful treatment of their private affairs might be embarrassing in some way, then you have to expect that others might do the same thing to you. So here goes.

Bill Maher is a SCAM, not that there's anything especially wrong with that, but you don't hear him talking about it much, and we do think SCAMs have an obligation to tell absolutely everybody they meet, just so they'll know. The proof isn't hard to find. For example, we found the following at CelebHeights.com:

TNTinCA says on 18/Oct/06
Hard to believe he dated 6 foot Ann Coulter once. Reason 1, that must have been a bizarre looking height difference. Reason 2, well, any guesses? ;-)

trueheight says on 4/Sep/06
actually, I do believe he's 5'8; dunno about footwear though. He was like almost as tall as Rep. Darrell Issa who represents the 41s district here in CA; he's 5'10, i've actually shook hands w/ Mr. Issa

J. says on 6/Jun/06
I met Bill after one of his shows. I'm 5'2 and was wearing 4.5" heals and I was a little bit taller than him. I'd say he's 5'6.

trueheight says on 9/May/06
5'7; I was at a taping of maher's show this season w/ none other than...Seth Green. Green was in sneakers and maher was about 4in taller. anyway, if you're a fan of HBO than you undoubtebly have seen Maher's '98 special in which his 2-3in heels were very very apparent. He's 5'7 barefoot

Mr. R says on 18/Apr/06
He has been listed in People Magazine I think as 5-9. Clearly a misprint.

He's somewhere between 5'6" and (maybe) 5'8". Yet he's calling himself 5'9" and wearing lifts. Let's face it. Any man who misrepresents his height for the purpose of making people think he's taller than he is is short. Short and not quite honest.

Our next key revelation is hinted at by the fact that Maher may have once dated Ann Coulter. Whether they dated or not, they do have something very serious in common. They both went to Cornell. This is something that everyone should always be told about in advance of any sort of conversation. Just so they can prepare. You know. That's why we have previously felt obliged to disclose the same unsettling fact about Keith Olbermann (who's as dumb as they come, by the way, if that tells you anything). And it's why we've written more about the alarming attributes of Cornell  than anyone else in the blogosphere (which you can read here). Not that we're prejudiced or anything. It's just that the American people have a right to know these things and make up their own minds how to respond to alumni of the most disturbingly depressed, envious, and pseudo-intellectual institution in the Ivy League. Coulter. Olbermann. Maher. Draw your own conclusions.

Finally, Wikipedia discloses that Maher has himself admitted that he is "is the product of a "mixed" marriage (Jewish mother, Roman Catholic father)." We hasten to say that we don't personally see anything wrong with this circumstance. In fact, many (or at least one) of our friends have similar backgrounds, but, you know. Facts are facts. Bill Maher is a mongrel.

Short, Cornellian, And Mongrel. That makes Bill Maher a SCAM. We know there are a lot of people who turn and walk in the opposite direction when they see a SCAM coming. We're not like those people. And we know and like many people who are short or Cornellian or mongrel, if not all three at once. So we're not condemning him for what he is. Just for the, you know, hypocrisy.

That's what we had in mind in outing him. It must have been. Or why would we have done it? It's not like he's gay or anything. Or is he?

Well, that would be up to him to tell you, wouldn't it?







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