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Friday, February 09, 2007
Corruption
"The only thing more inherently corrupt than a Yankee fan is a Red Sox fan."
-- St. Paul
PSAYINGS.5S.1-8.
Truth is, Dean Barnett would do anything for the Red Sox. Dean's boss
at Townhall.com is Hugh Hewitt. Hewitt likes Mitt Romney. Romney was
governor of Massachusetts, home of the Red Sox. How surprising is it
that Barnett posted this the other day?
Sigh. Hewitt and Barnett are both smart guys, but, well, really. Mormonism is the most absurd form of Christianity by, say, a million parsecs, and I, personally, am getting tired of American conservatives who believe the American people can be sold a bill of goods on the say-so of well connected (Look at me being influential!) bloggers.
I'll say what no one else will at this point: Mormons are untrustable idiots.
Christians are people who believe in the divinity of Christ. They are conspicuously NOT people who believe that Christ magically appeared to an ancient American nation with no archaeological or written record of any kind for the purpose of telling them how to make money by not drinking hot liquids.
The fact is, we're talking desperation. Republicans are going down in flames. It's almost impossible to find a real conservative who wants to run for office. So the king makers have decided to pretend that a cultist who has the money to finance his own campaign is a conservative. And they expect us to buy it because, hey, look at all the important people we interview. Besides, you know how Christian they are. Don't they remind you about that almost every day?
Hugh Hewitt is a self-professed Catholic-Presbyterian. (Time out for some punctuation exercises -- ? ! ! ?...) Actually, there are no appropriate punctuation marks for a Catholic-Presbyterian. Nothing that indicates a brakes-locked panic stop with a 180 degree twist.
I'm blowing the whistle on Hugh Hewitt. And Dean Barnett. I'm a Scot. Only a Scot can comprehend the total absurdity of the Catholic-Presbyterian oxymoron, and only a Scot can know for sure that John Calvin was, well, a typical half-smart engineer, afflicted with the arrogant certainty that logic will inevitably lead you to the most scientifically correct (i.e., stupid) theological conclusion anyone ever thought of: that actually being a good person is irrelevant because salvation is only a lottery decided ahead of time by an insane god who cares nothing about works or worth. Of course, being French, Calvin didn't have enough of a sense of humor to pretend he got this idea from a magic crystal that disappeared after it calculated the meaning of life as an imaginary number.
That's the Presbyterian part. Personally, I prefer the Catholic part, which we see when Hugh Hewitt goes all papal on Democrats who don't understand the ultimate rationality (Stop it, Calvin. I mean it.) of the Inquisition.
All humor aside, we're seeing in the Hewitt-Barnett example an instance of what happens when sincere bloggers start to become politicians. Barnett is an intelligent, well-meaning man. So is Hugh Hewitt. But they've both been bitten by the power bug. They think they can play a role in who gets elected President of the United States in 2008. In their infinite wisdom, they've decided that should be Mitt Romney and that we will be taken in by their assurances based on the respect they earned for honesty before they became campaign functionaries. The sad fact is, we can't trust them anymore.
Sorry. Truth time. Mitt Romney will never be president. He's a Mormon. Therefore he's a loon, regardless of how blazingly intelligent you have to be to make a half billion dollars in this country. The American people aren't going to buy this particular pig in this particular poke.
I still like Dean and I still like Hugh. That's why I'm offering this extremely valuable bit of advice: Give up being political gurus and go back to being plain-speaking conservatives. The only possible outcome of your campaign efforts is ruin -- professional. personal, and spiritual.
I'm not kidding, Dean. Especially about the Red Sox.
UPDATE. So. The hornet's nest has been stirred up. Good. Check out the comments section to see the Mormon defense at its finest. Mostly to the point and mostly absent the kind of invective I employed. Also, Dean Barnett has responded in his customary gentlemanly fashion, although he administers an old-fashioned spanking to yours truly. If all these arguments seem unnecessarily heavy, go to the always brilliant Wuzzadem for relief. I will respond to the serious stuff tomorrow. There is method in the madness.
UPDATE 2/11/07. A response from InstaPunk.
UPDATE 2/12/07. A more specific response from InstaPunk to a commenter who's still angry and bitter.
To put Romney's on-line fundraising
into perspective, consider that the notoriously web-savvy John Edwards
raised only $746k and change on-line in the same time period. And
Romney raised his $1,.4 million on line without the help, guidance and
leadership of two virtual gyno-warriors. Amazing!
Sigh. Hewitt and Barnett are both smart guys, but, well, really. Mormonism is the most absurd form of Christianity by, say, a million parsecs, and I, personally, am getting tired of American conservatives who believe the American people can be sold a bill of goods on the say-so of well connected (Look at me being influential!) bloggers.
I'll say what no one else will at this point: Mormons are untrustable idiots.
Christians are people who believe in the divinity of Christ. They are conspicuously NOT people who believe that Christ magically appeared to an ancient American nation with no archaeological or written record of any kind for the purpose of telling them how to make money by not drinking hot liquids.
The fact is, we're talking desperation. Republicans are going down in flames. It's almost impossible to find a real conservative who wants to run for office. So the king makers have decided to pretend that a cultist who has the money to finance his own campaign is a conservative. And they expect us to buy it because, hey, look at all the important people we interview. Besides, you know how Christian they are. Don't they remind you about that almost every day?
Hugh Hewitt is a self-professed Catholic-Presbyterian. (Time out for some punctuation exercises -- ? ! ! ?...) Actually, there are no appropriate punctuation marks for a Catholic-Presbyterian. Nothing that indicates a brakes-locked panic stop with a 180 degree twist.
I'm blowing the whistle on Hugh Hewitt. And Dean Barnett. I'm a Scot. Only a Scot can comprehend the total absurdity of the Catholic-Presbyterian oxymoron, and only a Scot can know for sure that John Calvin was, well, a typical half-smart engineer, afflicted with the arrogant certainty that logic will inevitably lead you to the most scientifically correct (i.e., stupid) theological conclusion anyone ever thought of: that actually being a good person is irrelevant because salvation is only a lottery decided ahead of time by an insane god who cares nothing about works or worth. Of course, being French, Calvin didn't have enough of a sense of humor to pretend he got this idea from a magic crystal that disappeared after it calculated the meaning of life as an imaginary number.
That's the Presbyterian part. Personally, I prefer the Catholic part, which we see when Hugh Hewitt goes all papal on Democrats who don't understand the ultimate rationality (Stop it, Calvin. I mean it.) of the Inquisition.
All humor aside, we're seeing in the Hewitt-Barnett example an instance of what happens when sincere bloggers start to become politicians. Barnett is an intelligent, well-meaning man. So is Hugh Hewitt. But they've both been bitten by the power bug. They think they can play a role in who gets elected President of the United States in 2008. In their infinite wisdom, they've decided that should be Mitt Romney and that we will be taken in by their assurances based on the respect they earned for honesty before they became campaign functionaries. The sad fact is, we can't trust them anymore.
Sorry. Truth time. Mitt Romney will never be president. He's a Mormon. Therefore he's a loon, regardless of how blazingly intelligent you have to be to make a half billion dollars in this country. The American people aren't going to buy this particular pig in this particular poke.
I still like Dean and I still like Hugh. That's why I'm offering this extremely valuable bit of advice: Give up being political gurus and go back to being plain-speaking conservatives. The only possible outcome of your campaign efforts is ruin -- professional. personal, and spiritual.
I'm not kidding, Dean. Especially about the Red Sox.
UPDATE. So. The hornet's nest has been stirred up. Good. Check out the comments section to see the Mormon defense at its finest. Mostly to the point and mostly absent the kind of invective I employed. Also, Dean Barnett has responded in his customary gentlemanly fashion, although he administers an old-fashioned spanking to yours truly. If all these arguments seem unnecessarily heavy, go to the always brilliant Wuzzadem for relief. I will respond to the serious stuff tomorrow. There is method in the madness.
UPDATE 2/11/07. A response from InstaPunk.
UPDATE 2/12/07. A more specific response from InstaPunk to a commenter who's still angry and bitter.
